[20anonymous08]

Sorry this is going to be a little long...

Okay so I am a singer/rapper/songwriter/actress and model. I really want to be able to do it all. I don't want there to be anything I CAN'T do. I feel that being well rounded and having a lot of different talents can help you move along. I have been singing as long as I can remember. 7 years ago I started recording. 4 1/2 years ago I started rapping. I write all my own lyrics. Any ways I saw an opportunity to do extra work and quickly jumped onto that. I also needed professional pics so I took advantage of TFP/TFCD opportunities. I have worked on several TV shows, done several photo shoots and I am working on several albums in addition to features and live performances. This past month things have really started picking up for me. I got with a production company here and he is going to do my photo shoot for my album including costume and makeup. He booked me on a ton of shows (in addition to the other promoters that are booking me) and he cast me in a TV show he is doing. He also works on commercials and is going to get me in there. Then I saw an add on craigslist for a photographer trying to rebuild his portfolio and I want to build one so I would love to have a variety of pictures from different photographers. I also work 8-5 Monday through Friday and I am engaged with a 3 year old daughter. My fiancée is generally supportive of me... but like this last week for example I had meetings all week after work and I have one today on my lunch break which varies from studio time to meeting a new photographer to meeting with the production company to shows during the week plus I have a ton of artists asking me for features. My fiancée is getting upset that I am gone so much. I always invite him but he never wants to go. I honestly do really feel bad that I am always leaving and he is stuck at home with our baby. I feel so torn. I'll be at the studio just thinking about and missing them. But I told him when we first got together that music is what I wanted to do and he would have to deal with it or there's the door... and he accepted it but now he is bringin up that 'oh well you didn't tell me you wanted to model and act'. I hate to be away from them believe me but this is part of me and I can't give it up. Sacrifices have to be made in the entertainment business. I mean neither of us go out to party or anything. He never gets to go out on his own really because our daughter is a major daddy's girl or he says he would rather be home with the baby. What I guess I am asking is should I feel bad? I love them with all my heart but as selfish as it sounds the music/acting/modeling really is the most important thing to me. It doesn't mean I love them any less and weekends are generally our time as we are both off and all together. Plus when I am gone after work it is usually just an hour or 2 except when Im in the studio then it is like 4 hours. But is it wrong to be feeling this way? I mean I will NEVER give up music even if that means letting the person that has my heart go. I don't want to be held back and I put music first.. then my family. I know when I say it like that it sounds bad but how I look at it is music IS ME it's in my blood so you could saying I'm putting MYSELF first then my family. I mean all the artists I know that really LOVE music feel the same way. I am just looking for input from others. What do you think? I have tears in my eyes writing about this. Help... TIA for any and all messages.

[LearningAsIGo]

I'm sorry, but this is selfish behavior. What's changed is that you chose to have a child who is innocent and needs you. Yes, sacrifices need to be made, but not by your child. That beautiful soul wants both of her parents. That "sacrifice" is yours to make--not theirs.

Your success can come while managing more time with your family. If/when you do strike it big, you'll wish they were there with you.

You feel bad and guilty now... I think you should listen to your heart and be with the ones you love.

[ZoeMarie]

Music fine, add all the other things you want to do and it's ridiculous. Im sorry but your child/family should come first. There's a song by the rolling stones, maybe you've heard it "you can't always get what you want."

[Alty]

I love them with all my heart but as selfish as it sounds the music/acting/modeling really is the most important thing to me

Then why did you have a child?

I mean I will NEVER give up music even if that means letting the person that has my heart go

What about your child? Will you let her go too, all for your career?

I know when I say it like that it sounds bad but how I look at it is music IS ME it's in my blood so u could saying I'm putting MYSELF first then my family

Your blood is in your child. That should be more important.

It's sad. While I was reading your post all I could think is, fame and fortune are more important to her then her fiancé and child.

If you make it in this industry (and that's a big IF) it won't last forever. One hit wonders are a dime a dozen. There are very few singers or models that last forever.

One day your career will be over and then what? Your daughter won't have a relationship with you. Your fiancé will probably not stick around. You'll be alone, with nothing, and all because you chose fame over family.

You're only thinking of yourself, not the child you brought into this world and not the man you claim to love.

Think about it. What's really more important? It should be a no brainer.

[ZoeMarie]

One day your career will be over and then what? Your daughter won't have a relationship with you. Your fiance will probably not stick around. You'll be alone, with nothing, and all because you chose fame over family.

I wouldn't want a relationship with my mom when her career was over if I was last on her list of priorities. Good point!

[cozyk]

But is it wrong to be feeling this way? I mean I will NEVER give up music even if that means letting the person that has my heart go. I don't want to be held back and I put music first..then my family. I know when I say it like that it sounds bad but how I look at it is music IS ME it's in my blood so u could saying I'm putting MYSELF first then my family. I mean all the artists I know that really LOVE music feel the same way. I am just looking for input from others. What do you think? I have tears in my eyes writing about this. Help... TIA for any and all messages.

It does sound bad, because it is bad, and yes, you should feel bad. That's my opinion, but you ask. I've never heard anyone come right out and say "I put my music first...then my family." Get off your high horse, look into your soul and get your priorities straight. Your child did not ask to be here, that was your doing. You owe him/her more than your leftovers.

[jenniepepsi]

I'm sorry... my opinion... but you do not deserve this child... she deserves someone who will place her above all else, where she SHOULD BE... I can't tell you what to do... but I think you should give her up for adoption so she has the hope of finding someone who WILL love her unconditionally!

[spitvenom]

It all basically comes down to this are you willing to lose your family for this? It really sounds like you are. It sounds like you are more then halfway in the door of actually making it. I know me and If I want something nothing or no one is going to stand in my way. My wife knew this before we got married lucky for me she doesn't want any kids. But you do have a kid. You have to look deep within yourself and find what is more important your family or career.

[Alty]

I'm just wondering why the OP had a child to begin with.

[simoneaugie]

If the OP was male, wouldn't the answers be different?

[Alty]

If the OP was male, wouldn't the answers be different?

Not if he put career before family, before the children he brought into this world.

Male or female, doesn't matter, not to me anyway.

[jenniepepsi]

No it makes no different to me. I'm telling her that she is a poor excuse for a mother and she doesn't deserve that child.

Had she been a man posting, I would have said he was a dead beat who didn't deserve the child either.

[20anonymous08]

All I want to say in response to this is I am appalled. I am glad that I am not suicidal otherwise your hurtful comments could have pushed me over the edge. This post was directed to my fiancée. NOT my daughter. Just the fact that I included her in the post has you guys going off and way out of line. How dare you even talk about my daughter. I would do anything for my daughter she is my soul. When you know nothing about me how dare you be so quick to judge. Only God can judge me therefore I care less what YOU think. I would/will cancel anything for my daughter. I take time off from work to be with my daughter during the week too. I was looking for advice in regards to my fiancée not being very supportive. I am a great mother to the child I CHOSE to bring into this world. If you actually read my post and not just what u wanted to read you would get the situation. In the 6 years I have been with my fiancée and working on my entertainment career last week was the first and busiest ever for me. This week it is back to normal. I work 8-5, I am the major bread winner in this family, I am following my dreams and taking care of my responsibilities. I leave the house after work once or twice a week for a couple of hours tops. When I have shows they are at night after my daughter is in bed and we get a sitter and my fiancée goes with me. You are telling me all this ridiculous crap when big celebrities, actors, sports stars, and musicians are away from their family weeks to months at a time and you are telling me that is not detrimental to the well-being of their children? But I am the bad one for being gone once or twice a week. I am doing this FOR my family. I want to make it. I want my daughters life to be so much more then mine was growing up. I am not gone all the time. When I do make it my family will be right there with me every step of the way. I came here looking for advice but I should have known none of your are worthy to give this kind of advice.

I am disgusted because I have seen other posts where people are looking for answers/help and you guys have attacked them in hurtful ways. Don't u think your hurtful answers just might be the cause of someone's suicide?? You guys are really nice to the people that come out and say they are suicidal but there are a lot of others who may be on the edge but don't come out and say it... and they feel terrible... ask for help... then you bash them and say how terrible they should be feeling and that's it. I hope you all can sleep and live with a clear conscience.

[ZoeMarie]

Sacrifices have to be made in the entertainment business.

I love them with all my heart but as selfish as it sounds the music/acting/modeling really is the most important thing to me.

I look at it is music IS ME it's in my blood so u could saying im putting MYSELF first then my family.

What are you sacrificing besides time with your family? Re-read your post. I'm pretty sure we'll all still be sticking with our original answers. I am at least.

[jenniepepsi]

I just re-read. And I stand by my answer...

I love THEMwith all my heart but as selfish as it sounds the music/acting/modeling really is the most important thing to me.

[20anonymous08]

Like I said... this is in regards to my fiancée. So if you don't understand that then maybe YOU need help. If I have to choose between my music career and my fiancée I will choose my music. I cannot let anyone stand in my way. My ex husband tried that bull with me... and now he is my ex. This does not pertain to my daughter so get it right.

[ZoeMarie]

We aren't here to argue with you. We can read just fine. You said yourself that your career comes FIRST.

[20anonymous08]

I clarified and corrected my original post as my daughter was not intended in this post. So whatever. I have no time for your worthless remarks and I will not return to this stupid worthless board anymore. Like I said hope you can live with a clear conscience and I hope you don't continue to aid and assist in pushing vulnerable people to suicide. Enjoy the rest of your ridiculous worthless life.

~Also for the record this is directed to 'ZoeMarie'~

[jenniepepsi]

I apologies if I misunderstood your post. As I said before you said 'they' not 'him' and I took that to mean both your fiancé and daughter.

Again, I am sorry if I misunderstood you, and I hope you can forgive that, as it was an honest mistake... I can only give you advise based on what you post. I don't know you personally, nor do I know your WHOLE situation.

In light of the new information, if your fiancé is not being supportive as he should be, perhapes he is not the one for you and it may be time to move on.

Again, I'm sorry. And good luck

[ZoeMarie]

I live with a perfectly clear conscience. Thank you.