[Sharon34]

Hello All,

Am Sharon and this is my first post... slightly awkward posting but felt I needed to just get it out and possibly hear about other peoples experiences so that I know I am alone... My husband got a job abroad and I went with him (its completely alient culture - don't want to name the country here) and soon enough I got a job myself... but soon got exposed to a very very new and alarming situation - the roads / markets / public transport - everywhere is so so crowded and well invariably guys take this as a licence to grope and fondle women... when I was new I used to wear skirts and have had some of absolutely nightmarish experiences stuck between men in public transports etc... I have completely stopped wearing skirts or anything remotely revealing... but the groping does not stop... ladies here have almost accepted it as a given... to be honest I have resigned to the fact that I am going to have my squeezed or breasts touched... but at times it just gets so much more than that specially when you are stuck in a crowded transport etc...

I don't want to get too explicit here... but am writing her just to hear from ladies if they have gone through such experiences before - to a point where it is more than just a touch or a nudge...

Thanks

[tickle]

Hi sharon, given that they are all strangers with absolutely no manners and probably feel that women are to be used, the only thing you can do in a crowded public situation is just not put yourself in that situation. I have been groped by clients while giving personal care and actually have to be quite blunt when they show no respect at all. It is a very touch situation at times, because if I want to report it the whole family has to be involved in a learning experience. You, however, are in an entirely different situation and as I said before you don't have to put yourself in that situation, otherwise wear a complete set of body armer or carry a big hat pin and stick the offending party where they wouldn't want to be stuck.

Ms tickle

[shazamataz]

Studded underwear... they will get a sharp awakening if they grope again.

Or a tazer attached somewhere they can get a good zap if they touch!

[Ren6]

This happened to me in a crowded club, once. I grabbed the offending hand and pulled back the thumb as hard as I could! Let's just say that I could then determine the identity of the groper, as his eyes popped out of his head.

[smoothy]

There are rude people everywhere... just that some places are worse than others.

I like Ren6's answer but beware in some countries that can get you in VERY serious trouble. Turkey is one that pop's into mind where I actually knew a case a woman service member had to be snuck out of the country in secret after suffering a terrible beating after crudely rebuffing advances made upon her... and charges where filed against her.

True story... I didn't read it anywhere or make it up... I knew people in the Clinic on the Army base that treated her after they snuch her out of the country.

[Xrayman]

Oh my God!

A. Does your husband know or appreciate this problem you are having?

B. Get the hell out of there immediately, have you considered that this is a rape risk for you to travel in a place where this is accepted as "Normal"??

C. If your "husband" cares enough, you two will be out of there ASAP! If not, time for you to leave without him.

If you cannot go, then maybe learn some self-defence and diversionary techniques like how to break thumbs, crack testicles and smash faces-I'd suggest Tae Kwon Do or Karate.

[321543]

Sorry, I am not female. I am retired military and have traveled 23 countries. Probably have been there.
Anyway, I am also married to a foreign national now for 18 years. Trust me I had that problem with men treating her that way. I did discover upon living there through out time that: when simply told to lay off her husband would not deal with such pig headedness, they usually would. Men like this know who they can get away with some things with ( not saying anything bad about you ). Sometimes they think you are weak. Let hubby help you out a bit if necessary. My wife got off telling the men that grabbed her, hey don't do it , my man will wipe you off the planet , he is Special Forces. Some never seen it coming. Soon though, it did stop. For others they can look at me and realize we can get along or we can get it on. I KNOW that any country you are in Americans are respected, especially the men , the women are looked at as 3rd class citizens. And the police will help an American woman. As long as her story is supported by hubby.
Hubby is the KEY. He has to take care of it .