[superwomant]

I really like my sailing instructor but I don't know how to get him to like me. He's a bit older than me (4 years), amazing sailor and has really great personality. He's soooo funny and also very kind to everyone. I suspect he's a bit of a people pleaser, like a big boy who never grows up.
He's taking me out sailing tomorrow, not with the class, just us alone. I think it'll be a great opportunity to get to know him more and make him like me better but I don't know how to make it happen. We don't seem to have much in common, culturally and interests wise (maybe we have sailing in common, but totally not on the same level). I always worry that he'll think I'm too boring because he's really funny and sharp (a philosopher) and sometimes I couldn't think of smart responses, he might think I'm too harsh. Also he has a really really smart sister, went to harvard and everything, that might make his standard really high.
He's really nice to me (and everyone else), I need to distinguish myself from the rest of crowd and really makes him feel I'm special and interesting. But I don't know how. Does anyone have any tips to deal with this kind of situation?

[justcurious55]

First off, you can't make him like you. Does he take other students out sailing alone? If not, he might be hinting that he already does like you. Be yourself. Don't stress. If things are going to work, he should like you for you. If you put on an act or try to change and he falls for who you are trying to be, it will most likely end in disaster. Because it won't really be who you are.

[mudweiser]

First of all how old are you? If you're a minor and he is not then this isn't going to happen sweetheart-- it would make you jailbait!

Second, you can't make someone like you. Imagine someone who you clearly don't like trying to do find ways to make you like him? Not so nice is it-- kind of creepy actually.

The best you can do is be yourself, if a guy doesn't like you for who you are then you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

Sarah

[superwomant]

Thank you guys for the reply. I'll just be natural and confident for who I am then. After all, he's already willing to spend time with me, it means at least he likes me as a friend.

[flayvur]

Don't stress about making someone like you. You really need to just be you. If it's meant for you and him to be together then it will happen. But always be true to you and who you are on the inside. Never pretend to be someone you aren't. It might help to look at current events like what ever is happening in the world, or find out what religion he is listen to his response and share what yours is. Find out how he got into sailing, and what other things he like to do in his spare time. As for his harvard sister, that's nice that she's attended harvard but don't think of yourself as less than just because you didn't attend a prestigious school like that Donald trump didn't either and look at what great things he's accomplished. The bottom line is you don't know what great thing GOD have in store for you. You just be you know that you're a great catch and if it's meant for you guys to get together then it'll happen. If not someone better will come along!! :)

[talaniman]

How old are you?

[flayvur]

Why does that matter! I'm old in wisdom and young in age!:)

[mudweiser]

why does that matter! I'm old in wisdom and young in age!:)

I'm sure tal was directing that question to the original poster.

Sarah

[talaniman]

Originally Posted by flayvur
why does that matter! I'm old in wisdom and young in age!:)

Me Too, but I WAS referring to the OP.:D

[Catsmine]

If he likes you he likes you. If not, you're SAILING!

Have fun.

[liz28]

I am curious to know what happen. Hopefully the OP will come back to update everyone.

[I wish]

Just take the time to get to know each other. You can't force someone to like you. But at least by spending time together, you give each other the chance to like each other by getting to know each other.

[superwomant]

Hi guys, thank you all for the advice.
So we went sailing, and I had so much fun hanging out with him, in the end I got to know him a lot better, not so much as his background, family, the history of his life, etc, but his personality. He turns out to be exactly who I thought he'd be like, except 100 times better and more fun, I didn't even have to try to make him like me, in fact, I didn't even have time to think about it, time went by so fast, I just enjoyed every moment we spent together.
I think we clicked, at least I'm even more in love with him now than ever, I laughed so much today and have not felt this free and just simply happy in years. I don't know how we'll turn out, but I know we'll at least become good friends. We're going sailing again next week and hopefully again and again :). Thank you guys for the advice, I've never felt more comfortable being myself than I did with him.

[justcurious55]

Yay! Glad to hear it.

[superwomant]

I really like my sailing instructor. He took me out sailing on Friday, we had a great time (at least my part), and I asked if we could go again next Friday, and I'd bring him lunch and dinner (I made sushi for him last Friday). He said yes and put it down in his schedule.
On Saturday I saw him again with my sailing class, The dynamic was a lot different from when we were alone. It was our last class, he asked all of us to come on Sunday for make up class because a bunch of us missed a lot of classes and asked us to "shoot him an email for a final on water test". I told him "I can't, I have stuff". After class I was walking to the bus stop (kinda far) and he passed by me, he was riding a bike, and he gave me a fun ride (I sat on the front handle bar), he dropped me off when the traffic became too much. Before he left, he asked again if I'm coming to class tmrw, and I said the same thing, and he said" should me an email", but then I asked" we're still going next week, right?" and he said "maybe". I shout back" definitely" before he rode away.
Now the question is, what does he mean by maybe, and why does he ask me to email him instead of call him? I used to call him. Did he not like last Friday? Or was he not happy I said I couldn't make it on Sunday and didn't really tell him what my other plans are? Or simply because he's probably going to be busy next week, and next Friday is still a week from this Saturday and a lot could change.
I don't know if I should call him up on Thursday to confirm, I did that last time. I want to let him know that I'm really interested in sailing (and him, of course), and I do care about it. But at the same time, I don't want to act too obvious and pushy. I know when guys I just met do that to me, i.e.. Keep pushing for a date, or act overly interested, creep me out and turns me off instantly,
So I don't know if I should still call him on Thursday or should I email him on Thursday, or should I just wait till he calls in the mean time still make food for next Friday? What if he doesn't call? By the way, he's a really laid back person, so lots of time it is possible he gets too lazy to do something.

[JBeaucaire]

"Maybe" means he's not that into you, though likes you enough to "play". "Maybe" means it's time take a deep breath and start looking for your next thing.

[superwomant]

Yea the things is I would still like to be his friend at least because he's an amazing sailor ,and I can learn a lot from him, I don't even know if I should still call him, because I don't know if he feels like I'm bothering him even as a normal friend.

[JBeaucaire]

Then don't bother him. You know the difference between calling someone to invite them to do something every now and then... and bugging someone incessantly. Right?

You can be friends without this added melodrama. Call him occasionally, spend the rest of your time constructively on the rest of your VERY BUSY life.

[talaniman]

Leave him alone, as its plain he isn't going out of his way to do anything with you. How old are you both?

[superwomant]

Leave him alone, as its plain he isn't going out of his way to do anything with you. How old are you both??

I'm 20 his 24