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J3nnif3rLyN · Jun 17, 2009, 02:33 PM

I am 17 and confused, any advice at all would help me. I got my period on the last month of May. I had unprotected sex the first week of June. It is currently the third week of June and I am experiencing light bleeding, pressure on my lower stomach, tenderness in my breasts, I have been a lot more tired and less active, and have been feeling sick. I took a pregnancy test at home and it was negative. Maybe I took it too soon? Could I be pregnant? Please help.

I previously had a guy really hurt me. He acted nice to begin with. He was really nice and caring. Then he started pushing me to have sex with him. He told me that I was stupid, had nothing going for me, and couldn't do any better than him. He started calling me to just have sex. I always felt obligated to go because I started believing him. I really believed that I couldn't do any better than a star football and basketball player. One night, I was raped down the street from where he lived. I sent one quick message telling him that a man was coming after me and please help. Nothing. No response. The next day, I told him that I was raped. His exact response was " you should be used to it by now". I felt so alone. I tried ignoring his calls but I was never able to stop myself from leaving. I kept running to him whenever he called. He later got a girlfriend. I told her about what was happening and she didn't even seem to care. He yelled at me for telling her and so he started calling me on only Restricted. It has been three years... I feel like I am trapped. I cannot stop going when he calls. I want to hate him so bad... but part of me is still hoping that he will become that same nice guy I used to know. I am not normally this bad with guys. I almost appear to be unattached to anyone because of what he did to me. I want to let him go and be done with him but I can't get myself to let go. I change my number, he always finds a way to get it back... I tell him I'm not home, he drives by and looks for lights in my house and for my car. If anyone can give me any advice, I would greatly appreciate it... thanks

I went to a friends house. It was a guy friend and I was really starting to like him. Him and his friends were extremely drunk. I went into the house and they were all being really nice. My "friend" said that he wanted to show me something in his room. I followed him and so did the other 4 guys. This boy (what I thought was my friend) started to kiss me and hold my neck so that I couldn't move. The other boys started to pull off my clothes. They took turns holding me down and having their way with me. There was nothing I could do. Not one of them had a condom and they all finished inside me. After all of them got a turn, one even had two turns, the boy that I went to see walked me out. He said that he was sorry because he was super drunk and he didn't mean to hurt me. I left and was then immediately pulled over by the cops. Earlier in the day, I had a friend in my car that brought a six pack of beer. Luckily only one can was showing. They just told me to dump it out, go home and be careful. Last night was not a good night. I got maybe two hours of sleep. It all doesn't seem real right now but I know it was. I'm worried that since none of them had a condom, I could get pregnant. I was told about the day after pill but all of the family planning places are closed on the weekends and now I'm worried it will be too late. Someone please give me some advice...

h_leann_b · Jun 17, 2009, 02:36 PM

You are taking the test pretty soon. You should wait until you are late on your period, then use your first morning urine. Really its just a waiting game at this point.

P.S. I hope you take this a lesson to not have unprotected sex! It's not worth it I promise.

Justwantfair · Jun 17, 2009, 02:37 PM

If you are having unprotected sex then YES you can be pregnant.

If you are concerned, you can visit your local planned parenthood or doctor.

The symptoms you are describing are also symptoms of PMS, so it is difficult to know without a positive pregnancy test.

If you are not ready to become a parent, then do not put the rest of your life at risk with unprotected sex. If you find out that you are not pregnant, please use at least two forms of birth control, then you will not have this concern in your life.

J3nnif3rLyN · Jun 17, 2009, 03:29 PM

I usually never have unprotected sex. One of my friends wanted me to go with her to a party. She got way drunk and couldn't drive so she was staying the night. I met this guy that told me that he would drive me home after a party. He never drove me home. I wasn't going to say this part but its important to my story and shows how truly worried that I am that there is a chance that I might be pregnant...

ironclad04 · Jun 17, 2009, 03:29 PM

Hi, wow that's quit the challenge you have yourself in! I can give some what good advice, but from a male perspective?? From what I read and what I think, is that that's all he's looking for! I don't want to sound mean, but it's the truth. If he can't advise himself to call back in that type of situation and tell you basically that you're a ***** is which I think he was getting at without having the gull to tell you to your face, as most young guys do, then he's low! If I were you, move on! Especially if he's got another girlfriend.

jenniepepsi · Jun 17, 2009, 03:31 PM

First of all I am so very sorry you must put up with this. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, I know exactly how you feel, I have been through it before myself.

You need to go to the police and file a report against him hon. It will be scary, and hard. But he NEEDS to know that he CANNOT treat you or any other like this. I'm not sure what state you are in but many states do NOT have statue of limitations on rape. Either way, I do not believe its less than 3 years in any state.

Also, get a psychiatrist hon. You have been through trauma. And need someone to talk to. If your under 18, talk to your parents about it. Shoot, evne if your OVER 18 talk to them.

giov · Jun 17, 2009, 03:34 PM

Hey Jen I wish I could tell you exactly what to to do and actually be there to help you. Im so srry you were raped and I can't begin to feel the hurt uve been through It sounds like your either in an abusive relationship or just very alone & just needs someone to care. Do you have any other close friends or family like perhaps another girl or just someone you can hangout with or talk to I know uve tried but don't stop trying. Give yourself some distance from this guy take up something new like volunteering at a hospital or joining a new church anything that will make your life a little better just by surrounding yourself with positive things and people. Also focus on you now and being a better you if he's still stalkin you tell the truth that you've started some new things in your life and you just want to make a better you maybe it'll change him or scare him off either way your doing something good for self keep holding on you'll find the right guy for you someday

I wish · Jun 17, 2009, 03:36 PM

The classic case of nice girl hoping she can change a bad guy. I'm really sorry to say, but it doesn't matter if this guy changes or not, you need to sort out your own problems. Take care of YOURSELF FIRST.

We can tell you all day that you should stay away from this guy, but you need to take the iniative and STOP yourself. You also really need to get some professional help (such as a therapist or a counsellor). You need to gain some self-esteem and self-respect.

J3nnif3rLyN · Jun 17, 2009, 03:37 PM

Thank you for your advice... I have been to afraid to tell anyone about this. My parents aren't the most understanding so I didn't want to confide in them. As for the police, I have had other circumstances come up but received no help from them... Its worth a try though

mudweiser · Jun 17, 2009, 03:39 PM

I usually never

You can't put those two words in a sentence, either you've done if often or this was a one time occasion.

Anyway...

I would suggest taking a blood test. Go to your walk-in clinic, doctor's office or even ER and demand a blood test. They can determine pregnancy within 7-12 days of possible conception.

I hope this is a pregnancy scare and you learn to use protection. Maybe you should start taking birth control, get an IUD, get the depo shot, get the ring, use the patch, etc. If you want to have sex you need to be responsible. Next time the occasion rises to have unprotected sex, just say no, or you could see yourself here again. Besides there are other things out there like Herpes, AIDS/HIV, STI's--- and well they are not so fun to have.

Sarah

Justwantfair · Jun 17, 2009, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by J3nnif3rLyN

I usually never have unprotected sex. One of my friends wanted me to go with her to a party. She got way drunk and couldnt drive so she was staying the night. I met this guy that told me that he would drive me home after a party. He never drove me home. I wasn't going to say this part but its important to my story and shows how truly worried that I am that there is a chance that I might be pregnant...

So a guy not responsible enough to drive you home as agreed, forced you to have sex with him?

You are right, it doesn't help your story. If you believe you were raped, report it. There is also a Plan B contraceptive, if you are careless and want to protect yourself.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 20, 2009, 07:56 PM

I have combined several threads. It helps give a better story,

Please keep one thread

J3nnif3rLyN · Jun 20, 2009, 10:29 PM

I really started liking this boy. He was really cute and nice. Well he invited me over to his house when his friends where there. He told me that he wanted to show me something in his room and I, like and idiot, followed him. His friends followed behind. He grabbed onto my neck and started kissing me. I couldn't turn my head at all. I heard his friends come in and they started grabbing me and pulling my clothing off. I was trapped. There was only one way out and there were 5 guys in the room. The one that I liked in the beginning stayed the whole time holding onto me as one at a time all of the other guys came in and had their way with me. I kept saying no while he was practically forcing his tongue in my mouth. Everyone had their turn and the one that I liked to begin with got 2 turns. Not one of them had condoms. It was horrible, when I thought it was over, another one came in. I don't know what to do. I am worried that I may be pregnant and I heard about the day after pill, but the family planning place was closed today. I'm worried it's too late now. I keep having flash backs and I didn't get much sleep. Today it seems like last night was all just a horrible dream... I am too afraid to tell my parents or the cops. Please help...

drcrow · Jun 20, 2009, 11:09 PM

Tell yer folks.

Justwantfair · Jun 20, 2009, 11:16 PM

What you have been through is horrible and embarrassing.

BUT I urge you to report it. Start with whomever makes you most comfortable, either the police or your parents.

What these guys did they could do to other girls or may have done to other girls. It is legally and morally wrong and these boys should be punished. The healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to face your abusers.

Beyond that, you will require counseling whether you decide to report the rape or not. So a conversation if you are going to face this issue will better serve you sooner then later. Your parents are there to support you and they would want to be there for you now. It will also help to have your parents involved if you are wanting to take the Plan B, but that is only good for 72 hours to my knowledge and that option may not be available. Talk to your parents.

If you were my daughter, I would want and need to know. Even if you were not supposed to be at the party. You didn't do anything wrong. THEY DID.