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sibi · Jun 16, 2009, 02:59 PM

Am a 25yr old girl,I met this guy some 2 months ago and when we met I fell in love wit him,he proposed to marry me and then I agreed but he offened me once and since then I have not been able to love him same way I used to.I told about this feelings concerning how me not loving him like I used to and he pleaded that I should not leave him.I have tried all I can to push this guy away but instead he keeps showing me that he loves me and that he wants us to fix a date for the wedding.honestly am confused and scared because am thinking that maybe its me that is not stable concerning my feelings.

Ladyviper · Jun 16, 2009, 03:17 PM

If you can't move on from it, then your heart and mind are telling you to let go. You should never marry someone if you have reserves about it. Do what makes you happy, and don't do something that you may regret. Don't let someone pressure you into a lifetime commitment.

I wish · Jun 16, 2009, 03:21 PM

Knowing a person for only 2 months is definitely not long enough to get married.

What's the rush? Take your time to get to know him first. If he can't wait, then he doesn't actually love you. Just be honest with him. Tell him that you're not ready. If he doesn't listen, it means he doesn't respect you and you won't ever have to wonder whether you should marry him.

Ladyviper · Jun 16, 2009, 03:29 PM

I can't say that time has anything to do with it, in some cases. I know a couple that got married after 2 weeks and have been together 40 years. I know a couple that got married after two weeks, and just celebrated their 21st anniversary. My best friend got married after 3 months and she is celebrating her 10th anniversary this September.

Just as no one can tell you that you should or shouldn't, no one can tell you what is and isn't enough time. Follow your heart, and if you have any doubts, just don't do it.

DrJ · Jun 16, 2009, 03:29 PM

Originally Posted by sibi

i have tried all i can to push this guy away but instead he keeps showing me that he loves me and that he wants us to fix a date for the wedding.

Stop right there. You are trying everything you can to push this guy away and you are asking us if you should just marry him anyway?? Are you crazy??

NO! Do yourself AND this guy a HUGE favor and DO NOT marry him.

Plain and simple.

liz28 · Jun 16, 2009, 10:04 PM

If you have to ask someone if you should marry someone then you shouldn't.

If you believe this relationship is moving too fast then it is time for you to speak up and be honest with this guy and slow it down.

If your trying to push him anyway because of your doubts then again that is more of a reason to honest and open about your feelings.

Like I Wish said there is no reason to rush into a married after only knowing him for 2 months. Take time and have fun getting to know each other so the relationship can grow and hopefully last.

jmjoseph · Jun 17, 2009, 02:01 AM

No, you should not. The reason I say no is because looking at your other thread, you have a lot of doubts. Two months is not long enough, and when you are ready, you won't have to have consensus from a bunch of strangers ( here). I found this site because I had squirrels in my attic. I found help, this site is indeed GREAT, but don't tell your grandkids that you decided to marry grandpa because " tootledeedoo56" said so. Good luck and GOD bless you.

N0help4u · Jun 17, 2009, 06:16 AM

As the others have said when in doubt wait. You need to deal with the issues first. You have only known him two months.
Red flag one: he did something to offend you. Maybe you are just sensitive but you need to deal with it first.
Red flag two: you haven't known him long enough to know if there are other things he might do to offend you.
Red flag three: He is pushing you for something you are not sure of and definitely not ready for.
Red flag four: You try to push him away and he keeps pushing you into something you don't want.

This is not love. It is him being codependent on you, being needy, being clingy to you, making you feel obligated to him, making you feel guilty, making you feel no way out, making you feel trapped. You may not feel at the no way out and feeling trapped right now but by the time you have been married for awhile you will be to this point.

NO LOVE should equal NO MARRIAGE

ZoeMarie · Jun 17, 2009, 06:22 AM

What I always say is that if you have to ask if should marry someone, that in itself says no. A marriage is a commitment. Why commit to something you're not sure of?

NeedKarma · Jun 17, 2009, 06:38 AM

Are you both in the same country?

HistorianChick · Jun 17, 2009, 07:12 AM

Two months? You're dating. You're in the process of getting to know him... not planning a wedding.

This is waaaaay too hurried.

No, don't marry him... get to know him...

Jake2008 · Jun 17, 2009, 07:20 AM

The more doubt you have, the more pressure he puts on you.

If you feel smothered now, how will you feel in another two months time after planning the wedding with him.

Anybody that puts that sort of spin on a two month relationship, and has you doubting yourself and your feelings, is a control freak.

He cannot buy love, and he cannot bully you into loving him.

It is either there or it isn't. If it isn't, and you are not being heard by him about your concerns, then you must stop this unbalanced relationship before you are emotionally buried by him, and end up in a loveless marriage with kids in tow.

ryans2fast4u · Jun 17, 2009, 07:27 AM

Marriage is surprisingly like sex.

If you do it before your ready, you'll regret it for life.
If you do it because your pressured, you'll lose self respect.
If you are consumed by it now it is all your relationship will be about.
If it's all your relationship is about it's not going to last.

I didn't even have to open up this post to answer it. You said "should I...". If you have your doubts then you shouldn't. There is no harm in waiting, so you should wait until your ready.

I'm going to ignore the parts about it being 2 weeks... your just STARTING the honeymoon stage. I just can't help but understand WHY? Why hurry to marry? If you love each other and like to be with each other it won't make a difference if you get married tomorrow or 5 years from now. But if your just consumed with each other and aren't going to be in love for life, Then waiting 5 years will be well worth it (because it won't happen) but doing it now will be a huge regret.

sassieunicorn · Jun 19, 2009, 12:00 AM

Please don't marry him!

sweet1028 · Jun 20, 2009, 11:29 AM

What's the rush? Two months isn't long enough to get to know a man enough to marry him. I have been in my current relationship for four years, we are not married. We are however engaged but we're still learning things about each other even now. You shouldn't marry a man that you are having doubts about and/or still trying to push out of your life. Marriage is a commitment of two people, one person cannot make a marriage work no matter how hard he tries. Marriage costs money and is lots of hard work, but then again so is divorce if you really decide that this is not the man for you. Good luck deciding.