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sunnysideup6 · Jun 15, 2009, 03:14 PM

I don't know what to do anymore. My older sister is constantly criticizing me, saying mean things to me and never apologizes. On top of that she is very lazy, doesn't ever accept any criticism of herself, gets defense anytime I try and point out a double standard and tells me to get over it and lashes out. It is getting to the point that I find myself crying about it because it's really wearing on me. I've already tried to bring this up with her over and over again and it just turns into her blaming me for it or lashing out even more. To make matters worse we live together and that cannot be changed. Does anyone have any advice or suggestions?

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 15, 2009, 03:20 PM

How old are the two of you? My sister and I were the same way when we were teens, but now that we are in our twenties and don't live together. We get along much better now, because we appreciate the time that we get to spend together. But she still has the same tenancies. I've made a few posts about that. Why is that it cannot be helped that you two live together. Sibling rivalry is normal to a certain point.

ineedsomeadvice · Jun 15, 2009, 03:36 PM

Hi sunny

I'm the last person who is able to give you any advice on this topic as I have similar problems with my sister-in-law.

Why she does this? Who really knows... maybe it's a little insecurity, jealousy or maybe she is just frustrated with her own life that she feels the need to bash on you to make herself feel good.

It sounds like she is emotionally abusing you too. And from my experiece this kind of behaviour is so demeaning and uncalled for and it makes you feel so heartbroken inside. And later on you get so used to hearing all these negative things about yourself from these abusers that you start thinking that what they are saying about you is true and that you really are a bad person and everything is your fault, because as they claim they are not the ones that are in the wrong. These kinds of people are cunning and they know how to push all of their negative energy on you and it wears you out.

All I can say is that I feel your pain and frustration and that hopefully one day we can both have better relationships with our sisters or sister-in-laws when we don't live with them anymore.

Keep your head up high and be strong, don't let anyone bully you any longer.

sunnysideup6 · Jun 16, 2009, 01:38 PM

She's 22, I'm 20. I wish it was because we were teens. We signed a lease together which is why I can't move out.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 16, 2009, 10:41 PM

There are tons of ways to break a lease, especially if you've just signed it. But honestly, this may just be a good time to learn to live together. Kill her with kindness, it'll start to make her realize that her mean words don't hurt you. When she says something negative, just say something like, "Oh yeah, I agree." And continue on with your current task. Try to not dwell on her behavior, and show her that its not getting to you.

bindu14342 · Jun 17, 2009, 03:27 AM

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bindu14342 · Jun 17, 2009, 03:37 AM

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ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 17, 2009, 10:26 PM

BINDU14342, please stick to the topic. If you have a question of your own you are more than welcome to post it in the appropriate section. Thank you.

TanyaGomez1 · Apr 19, 2012, 08:35 PM

I get it a lot to, try to reason with her. Point out how immature she is being. Tell her to act like an adult. I tried that and it worked for a while, now it doesn't really happen.