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    JasonDrew's Avatar
    JasonDrew Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #41

    Jun 30, 2009, 09:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    If you can not afford an attorney, try the legal aid society for your area.

    Also what is so complicated ?

    It works best if both people can merely agree to when and who gets the child. The child support is normally just a set amount according to income.

    Let me put it this way, I went to law school, I worked criminal law for years. But in my recent divorce i would not even step into the court room without my attorney.
    I wish it was that easy, I've tried doing that but her mother wants me to have nothing to do with her because she is married and she doesn't want to have to deal with me and she is trying to say that I am a bad father because I haven't been there when I didn't even know I had a daughter until she was 14 months old.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #42

    Jul 1, 2009, 05:58 AM

    And how old is she now?
    Are you listed on the birth certificate?
    The first step will be to establish paternity, by going to court and requesting that paternity for the child be established (if you are not on the birth certificate). The process can be started without counsel (SAVE in the meantime).
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
    BossMan
     
    #43

    Jul 1, 2009, 06:04 AM
    >THREE Threads Merged<
    JasonDrew's Avatar
    JasonDrew Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #44

    Jul 1, 2009, 06:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    And how old is she now?
    Are you listed on the birth certificate?
    The first step will be to establish paternity, by going to court and requesting that paternity for the child be established (if you are not on the birth certificate). The process can be started without counsel (SAVE in the meantime).
    She will be turning 3 on August 25th, and it's so sad because I have only seen my daughter twice and one of those times I was dropping off Christmas presents and she was in the car strapped into her carseat getting ready to go out of town. I am not listed on the birth certificate because I didn't even know I had a daughter until she was 14 months old. The mother never told me she was pregnant and never told me she believed tha she was mine, I found out through a mutual friend. And I wish I could file a subpoena for a DNA test but I have to have her physical address in order to do so but she won't give it to me and I can't find it through any type of people search.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #45

    Jul 1, 2009, 01:52 PM

    This is what comes of starting new threads with the same issue. You first posted this concern on 6/9. You were given advice that you need to find a lawyer immediately to contest this.

    Its now 7/1 and you are still moaning and complaining. Have you done anything more than asking for help here? Did you really think starting a new thread would get you different answers?

    Do you really want to be a part of your daughter's life? Because if you really did. You would have hired a lawyer a couple of weeks ago and would have found out by now, what the daughters status was and had motions filed to overturn the adoption.
    JasonDrew's Avatar
    JasonDrew Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #46

    Jul 1, 2009, 07:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    This is what comes of starting new threads with the same issue. You first posted this concern on 6/9. You were given advice that you need to find a lawyer immediately to contest this.

    Its now 7/1 and you are still moaning and complaining. Have you done anything more than asking for help here? Did you really think starting a new thread would get you different answers?

    Do you really want to be a part of your daughter's life? Because if you really did. you would have hired a lawyer a couple of weeks ago and would have found out by now, what the daughters status was and had motions filed to overturn the adoption.
    Well buddy first of all you don't know the entire situation and I don't know how many times I have to say that I DO NOT HAVE AN ADDRESS SO THEREFORE I CAN NOT FILE ANY KIND OF MOTION. I've already gone ot the court house and attempted to file for paternity but I can not do it without her address. So unless you want to hire a private investigator for me please keep your criticism to yourself. You don't know me or my situation. I just want as much information as possible in case I do have to end up representing myself. So please if all's your going to do is judge and criticize, don't respond to my threads. Thanks.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #47

    Jul 1, 2009, 07:39 PM
    If establishing paternity and handling this situation is important to you, then you need to hire a private investigator and an attorney, find the finances.

    Anger at us for not having options for your situation, isn't helping you. Unfortunately you have waited an additional 16+ months to handle this, furthering your inablity to establish that you didn't know, you have known for 16+ months and you are hoping for a quick and convenient fix for a complicated, neglected situation.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #48

    Jul 2, 2009, 04:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JasonDrew View Post
    Well buddy first of all you don't know the entire situation and I don't know how many times I have to say that I DO NOT HAVE AN ADDRESS SO THEREFORE I CAN NOT FILE ANY KIND OF MOTION. I've already gone ot the court house and attempted to file for paternity but I can not do it without her address.
    Well buddy, we have answered that question many times over. You need to hire an attorney who can subpeona court records for you. You are getting the run around from the court houses because they are bureaucrats who don't want to or have to help you.

    Quote Originally Posted by JasonDrew View Post
    So unless you want to hire a private investigator for me please keep your criticism to yourself. You don't know me or my situation. I just want as much information as possible incase I do have to end up representing myself. So please if all's your going to do is judge and criticize, don't respond to my threads. Thanks.
    Now I don't know you or your situation. The only thing I have to go on is what you have posted here. You say you want as much info as you can get. My point is that you got that info THREE weeks ago. Have you acted on it at all? You can't even start to represent yourself until you learn how to get around the fact that you don't have their physical address. Do you know where the husband is stationed? There shouldn't be too many military bases in the area. You can try getting a subpeona served through the military.

    And please don't presume to dictate who can or can't respond to your posts. Once you post a question you open yourself to any and ALL responses to your questions (as long as they stay within the rules). I will point out that I have made a few posts with advice to help you. My ire was aroused only when I found you had first asked this three weeks ago and, seemingly, have done nothing with that advice.

    If I was in your situation, I would do everything I could to be a part of my daughter's life. I would not lollygag around wringing my hands and complaining about how unfair things are. I would go into debt to get things done. But frankly, I would never have gotten myself into this position on the first place.

    If you don't want to be criticized, then don't do things that promote criticism. And you better gird your loins, because the quoted response is NOT going to sit well with the people here, especially those that have tried to help you.
    JasonDrew's Avatar
    JasonDrew Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #49

    Jul 2, 2009, 06:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    If establishing paternity and handling this situation is important to you, then you need to hire a private investigator and an attorney, find the finances.

    Anger at us for not having options for your situation, isn't helping you. Unfortunately you have waited an additional 16+ months to handle this, furthering your inablity to establish that you didn't know, you have known for 16+ months and you are hoping for a quick and convenient fix for a complicated, neglected situation.
    I understand that. Trust me. But there is nothing I can do until I find out where she is located. Which I have been trying to do. I've contacted private investigators in the area for prices and I am working on saving up.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #50

    Jul 2, 2009, 06:50 AM
    Good luck to you, you will have a hard and difficult battle ahead, keep us posted.
    JasonDrew's Avatar
    JasonDrew Posts: 25, Reputation: 1
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    #51

    Jul 2, 2009, 09:08 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    Good luck to you, you will have a hard and difficult battle ahead, keep us posted.
    Thanks, I've been calling Private Investigators in her area so hopefully I can get this rolling.

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