[lshackett]

My husband and I are separated and will be proceeding for divorce, we have agreed on joint custody however the children's prime residency will be with there Mother, we have agreed children come first, however, my husband thinks joint custody means he will not have to pay child support , please advise me on how this will work.
My understanding is Joint Custody means we both have a say in out children's well being, decision making etc, but I did not think it meant no support from the father??
Please help clear this up for me.
Lisa

[mr.yet]

What state do you live.

Joint legal custody, means that one parent would be the primary where the children will live.

It does not exempt him from paying support and medical coverage for the children.

[lshackett]

I live in CT.
And I have no problem with my children being with their Dad or if some night my son wants to sleep over, (I have 3 kids) but ultimately I will be doing it all, yes their main residency will be with me, now what do I do until the divorce underlines all this to him, when we separate can we have a legal document drawn up in order for me to get help (money) from him?
He seems clueless to all this, if he speaks with an Attorney shouldn't they be advising him of this??

[ScottGem]

He's wrong, it doesn't mean he doesn't have to pay child support, but it does mean he can reduce it. For example, he should continue to include the children on his medical insurance and be responsible for paying that.

Other factors depend on circumstances. You will have to agree on an amount that will keep the children fed and clothed on an annual basis. Then you look at the custody arrangement and divvy it up. For example, if he gets the kids every other weekend and 1 month during the summer, then he would have for approximately 50 days out of the year. So lets say you calculate the annual cost for the kids is $25K (I'm just throwing out a number here). The 50 days he will have them is 14% of the year. Therefore he can reduce the $25K by 14%.

[lshackett]

Basically what it comes down to... the kids will live with me, what he will do is pick them up from the bus 3:30 and I will get them at 4:30 when I get out of work, there maybe days that my son will want to hang out longer or sleep over, we'll do either every other weekend of swap a Friday night/saturday night thing... he is paying health insurance, I did for the last 17 years until I was laid off last year, so I know I will get kicked off, but I know he will keep the kids on his plan, I guess I just do not see his thinking in this, he keeps referring are care taking as a "wash"... and no money will have to come from him... I do not want alimony but was advised to as least ask for $1.00 a year to keep the option open?

[lshackett]

Also 1 other question, he has had a law suit pending for 4 years, am I entiled to 1/2 that money or any of the money, we are still leagally married (he was hurt at work, and I supported him through the whole ordeal) his court date is Nov1 and this could finally be the end??

[ScottGem]

Don't know about the alimony issue. But on the subject of child care, he's talking about having the kids alternate weekends. That's 52 days a year. Again that works out to only 14% of the time. Ask him how it figures that washes with the 86% of the time you have to feed them? Or keeping them clothed. What about your costs in keeping a roof over their heads.

If you don't want to figure a dollar amount, you could split it functionally. You feed them and let him clothe them. Set a minimum annual clothing allowance.

As far as the workman's comp claim. I think that depends on whether you are in a community property state. If you are dividing all the assets equally, that would seem to be an asset that should be included.

[excon]

Hello Lisa:

I think your husband is correct. Joint legal custody has nothing to do with decisions, and everything to do with where they live and who pays child support. In a standard joint custody arrangement, the children live with each parent 50% of the time. The cost of raising them is split proportionately between them based upon income. If you make more money than him, it could be YOU who pays.

If, what you have in mind is more of a standard visitation arrangement, then I think a frank discussion with your husband is in order.

Yes, you will be entitled to 50% of any award he receives, that is the result of an occurrence that happened during the time you were married.

excon

[The WB]

The court may look at how much he is paying to keep them on his insurance. If he is only making so much, he may be required to pay little or no child support. I know fathers with $7/week orders.

[lshackett]

He makes decent money, and yes more than I make, the coverage (Health insurance) for our family would be the same whether I am on it or not, and I know he would never not let our kids go without health insurance... maybe me, but not them.

But to my understanding... Joint Custody is about making on behalf of our children, we both have an input as to certain aspects of there lives. Joint Custody does not get a spouse out of child support if the main residency will be with there Mother, I realize all conditions are different, and no harm or bitterness should be directed towards the children, but the bottom line is I know I will have more responsibility taking care of feeding, bathing, homework, clothing, activities etc which is no problem, it will keep me busy and my mind off things, but knowing I will be getting help from him(money) would take a huge load off my mind.
We are currently still all living together the house is on the market, what should my next steps be (me and the kids have an apartment to move into Dec1st) I have no money for a retainer to get a lawyer at the moment, hopefully the house sells soon.
Any ideas??

[mr.yet]

Link to CT. Joint custody meaning. And other information regarding custody.

Link: http://www.jud.ct.gov/lawlib/Noteboo...ildcustody.htm

[s_cianci]

It will depend on how much time is spent with each parent. If the kids live primarily with the mother, then she is entitled to child support from the father, with credit adjustments for time spent with the dad.

[The WB]

If you look you look at your states web site, you may be able to find a child support calculator. Or, just Google it. Their kind of confusing to me, but you may be able to make since of them.
Remember that the children are stressing about this split also. They know and understand more than you think.

[lshackett]

Thank you , You are absolutely right, I do still love my husband and have done my very best, this is the second separation, this all started because he hurt my feelings... Ii stood strong for awhile hoping to get the comfort I needed from him, instead he turned it around to look like he was made at me... I even after some time sent little notes-emails to break the ice, when I finally confronted him to really look at how silly we were being, he opted to separate rather than try to communicate, once again I was slapped in the face.
What I need from him I will ever get, if he simply came and gave me a hug, I would have been happy, he is to stubborn to admit his mistakes it is easier for him to just walk away.
I would do anything, but 1 person can only do so much.
And at this point I believe I deserve more, if he is not willing to be there for me when I need him the most, than it is not me he wants.
I can only be made a fool of so many times, without communication there is no marriage.

[TeamSandG]

The way it works in our state is there is physical custody and legal custody. Physical is where the children live and who takes care of their everyday needs and legal custody is who makes the decisions about medical, education and legal for the children. If you go joint on both then it is split down the middle with child support. Time spent vs. money paid. The more time he chooses to spend with the children the less child support he pays. Very simple. He will have to pay child support and if I were you I would not sign or agree to anything his lawyer puts in front of you without having it looked at. You may even be able to make him pay for your lawyer in the proceedings.