Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 4, 2009, 01:30 PM
    I cant handle my girlfriend!
    Hi , I was wondering if I could get some advice, I'm to embaressed to talk to anyone but my girlfriend about it... I can not handle my girlfriend , she is gorgeous and so many guys want her , I can't handle the she wears , and the type of girl she is... I have severe trust issues... and she says I'm controlling which I think I am... what should I do , I've been dating her 5 years on and off.. and it has destroyed me every time I break up with her because I'm stuck with her in my high school , and it kills me when she goes to parties and talks with guys and flirts... should I just break up with her? I'm not emotionally ready for a relationship with her ?
    Gregisteredtrademark's Avatar
    Gregisteredtrademark Posts: 226, Reputation: 35
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Jun 4, 2009, 01:45 PM

    Your absolutely right. You can't handle her. To be honest it comes across like you have trust issues with her. Has she given you any reason besides the flirting? Has she cheated on you? If not then she is just a flirty person and you are probably being a little possessive. Remember she is her own person and not yours to control. If you can't get past her flirting and talking to other guys then unfortunately it's time to move on.
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jun 4, 2009, 01:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Gregisteredtrademark View Post
    Your absolutely right. You can't handle her. To be honest it comes across like you have trust issues with her. Has she given you any reason besides the flirting? Has she cheated on you? If not then she is just a flirty person and you are probably being a little possessive. Remember she is her own person and not yours to control. If you can't get past her flirting and talking to other guys then unfortunately it's time to move on.
    She has never cheated on me , only thing is I broke up with her a year ago , and one of my greasy buddys moved in on her... he was a rebound and she slept with him twice, she also loves to party and is loud and an attention seeker... maybe I need to figure myself out or next girl friend go for someone a little more innocent?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jun 4, 2009, 01:52 PM

    Trust issues, can either stem from someone breaking your trust or insecurity issues within yourself. Five years for a high school relationship is a long time. It's hard to develop as a person individually when you are always someone's boyfriend.

    I think it is time to step away from the relationship and really focus on you. High school is a great time to be learning about yourself, learning about dating, searching and planning out your future. Worry about some of the things you should be doing now for you. Worry about lifelong, love commitments after college.
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jun 4, 2009, 01:57 PM
    Thanks a lot I need more awnsers please people... this is rele hard on me
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:08 PM

    She slept with your friend twice, your jealous, your controlling, have trust issues, don't like what she wears, and can't stand her clubbing ways. Time for you to leave her alone and work on your insecurities.

    Unless you want to stay in this unhealthy relationships. Too many flags and issues with within.

    Btw, I hope you aren't no longer friends with the called friend she slept with.
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:14 PM
    Definitely not
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:23 PM

    I went through the jealousy, possessiveness and controlling. It is an everyday struggle that you cannot solve alone, I went to therapy for it and took classes, read books EVERYTHING and I recently just fell back into my old ways, but am working out again. (caught it early) and you need help man, you can't do it without help, I can't say that enough. You can mask it, but once you get pushed, there's no turning back.

    Also, why would you want to be friends with someone who sleeps with your ex?
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:29 PM
    Wow that really helped me , my girlfriend says I need help as well , but she just doesn't understand how I feel... I think I need help as well but its embaressing to tell my mom I'm only 17... I guess it is not good for me to be with my girlfriend since she is so perfect and so gorgeous while I'm trying to get better?
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:32 PM

    Also we became enimies as soon as he started talking to her... then when they were dating we fought
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #11

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:32 PM

    If she can help you get better, then yes. But if you feel she will be more of a problem then maybe it's best to end it.

    What's more embarrassing, telling your mom you need help(actually I respect that) or constantly over reacting in front of people because of your jealousy and living life alone
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #12

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by weedman232 View Post
    definatly not
    I am glad you are no longer friends with this guy but I must ask you "why are you still with this girl?"

    You been with her on and off for 5 years and it obivious it is going continue to be off and her. You can't change her nor shape and mold her into the person/girlfriend you want her to be.

    It is obivious she is turning you into what you are today. So the only person you can change is yourself. Workout all the issues you have and step away from the stress and drama because your only torturing yourself.

    I go to the clubs something and wears outfits that show a little bit of skin with or without my fiancé, guys look at me when I with/without my fiancé but he doesn't care. He doesn't get jealous. His thing is "haha I got her and you don't". You have to cool it. He knows I isn't going no where unless Jamie Foxx comes my way. Hehe
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by weedman232 View Post
    wow that really helped me , my girlfriend says i need help as well , but she just doesnt understand how i feel .... i think i need help as well but its embaressing to tell my mom im only 17 .... I guess it is not good for me to be with my girlfriend since she is so perfect and so gorgeous while im trying to get better?
    Your young and have a lot of living to do. It is good that you recongize your issues and are willing to face them by working on them but you can't do this alone. Tell your mom and I am sure she will help you because in the end it will make you a better man. Go and talk to her so she can get you into counseling.
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
    Senior Member
     
    #14

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:43 PM

    Agreed with Liz28 that she is changing who you are and you have lost a friend over her... NOT GOOD. I can't say that I'm glad that you aren't friends with this guy, boys will be boys and from what my 15 year old says it's whatever. If you break up with a girl at your age that you kind of dated off and on, does that mean that your friends can't date her. Apparently she allowed it. I would say that you would be better suited with a girl that is not sleeping around at the age of 17 and sleeping around so much that she is also sleeping with your friend. I'm not certain that help is what you need. I think that this girl is not particularly the norm out here in this world and you have a personality that is better suited for a girl that is a little more conservative and reserved. PERFECTLY NORMAL EXPECTATION.
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #15

    Jun 4, 2009, 02:46 PM

    Thanks a lot that's exactly what I think , I need a conservative , more innocent girl... but maybe I should get help as well.. please more advice people.. this is killing me inside
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
    Senior Member
     
    #16

    Jun 4, 2009, 03:02 PM

    If you feel that you are to an extreme that you need help... ask for it. If you feel that your circumstances were a little out of the norm, maybe wait it out and see how you feel with another girl. I don't want you to run around thinking that you are broken when you very well may have been exposed to something that isn't the norm. Talk to your mom and continue to do what you are doing by talking it out. The fact that you know that you are experiencing some of this stuff leads me to believe that you are understanding yourself very well, you understand cause and effect and how you feel under certain circumstances. You are way ahead of the pack sweet heart. Do me a solid though and talk to your mom.
    weedman232's Avatar
    weedman232 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    Jun 4, 2009, 03:29 PM
    Thanks a lot I appreciate this , the hard thing is my girlfriend is going to fight for this so hard , if I break up with her... and its going to be really hard on me... but I feel it's the only way to get past this... and she was my first love and my high school sweetheart... its so hard to see her in the hall everyday
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #18

    Jun 4, 2009, 06:57 PM

    It is going be hard for you but it will make you a stronger person and you will survive.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #19

    Jun 4, 2009, 07:24 PM

    Time to let her go weedman, and a coach, or counselor, or an older trusted male adult, is a good person to get some guidance from.
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
    Ultra Member
     
    #20

    Jun 4, 2009, 07:42 PM
    Weedy, as I was reading your post I thought that it's not about you not handling your GF, it's the fact that you can't handle yourself!

    Fortunately you're still young, and you sounds like the sort of guy that wants to do the right thing. Firstly, though you need to do the right thing for yourself.

    It's a really good idea to speak with your mum, and with your current GF, I reckon, to let them know the confusion and distress you're feeling.

    Then, go and see someone to sort out the control and jealousy issues. Make a start on understanding why you feel this way and what you can do to deal with it.

    In the end it's not about changing girlfriends, it's about changing yourself.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

How Do I handle an Emotionally Unstable Girlfriend? [ 11 Answers ]

Hey everyone, I need all the input I can get on this one.. My girlfriend of 5 years has emotional issues. She is 27 and I am 29. We've been on a roller coster for the last 5 years and just many things have happen... recently to save a lot of your time, she is on probation for a DUI and this is...

Removing handle from a Moen single-handle shower [ 5 Answers ]

The shower is dripping and I am trying to get to the stem by removing the handle. I can see a set screw recessed into the bottom of the handle. I have tried an allen wrench but bent it without any success.

Re-install Moen single handle shower handle [ 12 Answers ]

My Moen shower handle came off. I see there is a set screw at the bottom of it. The handle attaches to a plastic piece; however, you have to pull out the plastic piece from the wall to get the handle to fit over the plastic and to give the set screw something to set into. How do I pull out...

Replacing single handle bathtub handle with 2 handles [ 1 Answers ]

Hi, I am redoing the tile in my bathroom and want to change my single handle hot/cold fixture with a 2 handle fixture... Can I do this myself or do I need a plumber?. My house was built in the 1960's and the faucet seem original.. I do have access from the back and will have access in front once...


View more questions Search