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moonlite · Jun 2, 2009, 08:49 AM

My 18 year old niece found a note in her work clothes from her manager. I read the note and thought it was unprofessional to say the least. I want to know if this behavior is considered sexual harassment. The note: "I love you so much baby and I'm sorry you have had a bad day but I love you to death and I was hoping my visit would cheer you up. I love you baby and I want you to smile cause I love your smile and I love seeing you happy. Love :)". My problem is: if he cares about her so much, he can use a lower tone or more professional words than "baby" and "I love you to death". Also, why not tell her in her face ? Why leave her a note ? Any opinions ? Thanks.

nikosmom · Jun 2, 2009, 08:57 AM

Sexual harassment is any unwanted advances. She's 18 so it's always possible that she's interested in him as well. What did your niece say about the note from him?

N0help4u · Jun 2, 2009, 09:00 AM

What does she have to say about the note?

I would make suggestions and see HOW she reacts. Like say "I think this should be reported. This is sexual harrassment."

I don't know about your niece or this guy but sometimes kids will cover up their relationships. The note does sound too aggressive for somebody she only works with if she has no interest.

I don't see anything other than too aggressive and some people get offended by being called baby. Other than that I don't really see an real sexual harassment. She needs to tell him to stop because this makes her uncomfortable or something but jumping into sexual harassment claims I don't think this note alone would get very far.

moonlite · Jun 2, 2009, 09:01 AM

She was not comfortable about it and she has no interest in him at all. She did not say anything because she wants to keep her job.

nikosmom · Jun 2, 2009, 09:12 AM

I think something about the way the note was worded leads me to believe that maybe more is going on than she's divulging. I don't know her, so I'm not accusing her of anything.

It's just that, unless he's the dumbest man alive, why would he put something like that in writing? Plus the fact that she kept it.

Also, did she bring it to your attention or did you two only discuss it because you found it? Did she tell you how long this has been going on? Is he doing this to any of the other girls at her job? All tidbits of info she would've mentioned during your talk if she felt she was being harassed.

N0help4u · Jun 2, 2009, 09:13 AM

Have to spread the rep...

Exactly... the dumbest or the most clingy needy co dependent.

excon · Jun 2, 2009, 09:18 AM

Originally Posted by moonlite

Is this sexual harassment ?

Hello m:

It's TEXTBOOK sexual harassment. She needs to quit and see an attorney - TODAY!

excon

eddiy75ru · Jun 2, 2009, 11:42 AM

This is definitely Sexual Harassment IF your niece does not accept or want that type attention, AND so informs the sender. If she waits too long to tell the sender that she does want that type attention, then she is in jeopardy of appearing to accept or want the sexual attention. Then even she can be accused of sexual harassment in counter-claim. Also your niece should NOT talk to other co-workers about this incident if she has not formally filed complaint; again your niece can be accused of harassment by telling co-workers of this incident WITHOUT formally filing with management first. So assuming that some time has passed and she has said nothing to sender, what has now happened? If sender again sends, says or even acts/looks sexually interested in your niece, she MUST speak up directly to Sender, and if sender does not appear apologeticand understand the wrongful action, then your niece must go to sender's supervisor, or Company's EEO representative (or HRO), to formally put this action on record. Saying NO to Sender can be ego-deflating and cause anger, so be very businesslike and firm; do not threaten or degrade or become angry with Sender. In any case, this is very delicate and can lead to extremely complicated legal issues, especially if they work for company with well definitely EEO rules/policy.

this8384 · Jun 2, 2009, 02:04 PM

Random thought: was the note specifically addressed to the niece? Is the manager perhaps seeing another employee and mistakenly put the note into the niece's work clothes, rather than his partner's work clothes?

moonlite · Jun 2, 2009, 02:35 PM

No, no. There is no question he intended to put it in her clothing because he told her he did. Anyway, we discussed the subject and based on all the opinions we received on this outstanding forum we decided to inform the manager above him of the incident. She will tell him that she was not comfortable with it and ask that he does not do it again or make any kind of improper advances or contact with her. By doing so she can establish that she is not a willing participant in this and she will have a stronger case should something like that happen again in the future. Thank you all for your advice we truly appreciate it.

emacon · Jun 2, 2009, 07:18 PM

The company your niece works for has to have a minimum of 15 employees for her to be able to file a sexual harassment suit. If this is the only incident it is not sexual harassment. If your niece does not report it then the company will say since she did not report it there was no way of us knowing and if we did know we would have fired her supervisor.