[Clara]

I'm very particular about my friendships, and as a college student have only one real female friend at school. I've been studying abroad and about two months ago my friend emailed me reminding me to sign up for Fall Housing. I have always had a single dormroom, and didn't think otherwise. But in her letter she asked if I would be her roommate in a university apartment. Thinking I would try something new, I got brave and a few days later said yes. Less than twenty-four hours after I did, I realized what a huge mistake I'd made-I'd be an awful roommate, and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize our friendship. I called her to say that I changed my mind, but she went crazy saying that now she didn't have time to find a new roommate, and that if she didn't have one, she'd have to live in a dorm with a stranger underclassman. I hadn't realized the trouble I'd caused, but I promised not to sign up for a single until I found her a roommate for an apartment, even if it had to be me. After an awful day of crying and fighting over the phone, I found her a roommate. I then wrote her a long email telling her that I felt awful about the way things had turned out, but that I did not sign up for a single until I was sure her position in an apartment with a roommate was secured. She did not return this email, or a shorter later one, and she hung up the phone when I called her about two weeks later. I went to visit my boyfriend on campus a month later, and when I saw her in the library, she pretended not to see me. When I think about our friendship I am shocked that this happened. She has the biggest pride of anyone I have ever met, but I didn't think she would ever do something like this to me. I apologized, I'd like to be her friend if she still wants to be mine. All signs on her part point to no. What should I do?

[mtybaldone]

Give her time. They say "Time heals all wounds" and it does, though the catch of that, is that it is not your time, but her time. It may take months or even years for her to finally get over it. If she has the pride you say she does, it may take longer, but it will happen.
Most likely she has been too angry to read your emails, so she is stuck with her perceptions of the ways that she feels you wronged her, rather than hearing out your reasons. She is probably feeling this righteous anger and has no room or tolerance for your "Excuses". In time, you may want to resend those emails and give her a chance to hear your side, but let it go, for now.
Not knowing her side of the story (you must realize, from her point of view, she is probably totally justified in disliking you) I can't not give you better advice, but I hope this helps.

[Jahiem28]

Hello You truly made a mistake on this one. One of the worst thing u can do is turn your back on a friend in need. I know u help find her other roommate but she knows you so she is comfortable around you. When you sharing a place with someone you have to have a good feeling about that person or the roommate thing will never work. In closing your good deed does not go unoticed. In time she find a way to forgive u take care GOOD LUCK