[car]

I've been seeing a guy for almost two years but he still has one year to go in school. I love him to pieces and want to stay with him. But I've always heard that long distance relationships don't work. I know I would see him during holidays but I also feel like I might be missing out on university fun when I'm stongly committed to some one and every one around me would be single or have boyfriends there. I don't know what to do... because I love him so much but yet I'm only 19.

[SINGLE4]

Welcome!

Go and have your "university fun" and take it from there! You may or may not be tempted to date other guys there and if you decide to do so... respect your current boyfriend enough to tell him how you truly feel before you start dating! There are tasteful ways to handle it! If you do want to date other people when you get there it doesn't mean that you are a bad person in anyway! People do change (hopefully for the better)!

Also, you do not have to date other people when you are at college, you can still just hang out with your friends (guys or gals)!

You are young!

Go with the flow but remember... homework comes first!! (Lol... sorry, I had to add that!) Enjoy your college years!

[kp2171]

Yes you love him.

Yes you are 19.

All I can tell you is to not change your lifes plans for him, or to put off going oversears because of him.

I did all I just told you for a girl I dated in hs and college, 7 years total. Then, when it fell apart, I felt like a moron.

You will never have more freedom (or at least the same kind) as you do now. Go out an experience life. If it works out with him, that's fantastic. If not, well that happens.

One of my best friends in college DID marry his HS sweetheart. They went to two different schools. Didn't see each other a lot. But were committed and it did work out. It can. Don't bet on it.

Most people have a few big relationships before they settle down. Its fine you love him. Its fine you are unsure. Its fine for you to let go some if that's what you need to do.

My daughter has been through some of what you are about to go through. She is now a sophomore in college. Her first year, she didn't date anybody exclusively, after dating a guy seriously her last 2 years of HS. I can tell you, it helped her be grounded and focused and she's had a blast. Now she's dating again. But it was when she was ready.

Sounds like you aren't so sure you're ready for a longer distance relationship. That's fine.

[J_9]

car,

Take KP's advice to heart. You are still very young. Please do not tie yourself down yet.

Yes, you love him, and I am sure he loves you. But we have many loves in our lifetime. By loving we grow and mature. This is normal and natural.

No, most long-distance relationships do not work, but some do. You never know until you try it. However, please do not tie yourself down. You have many years of life and love to live. Do not live as though this will be the only one you have.

Good luck at university. It is challenging, but fun. Don't forget the fun part during your studies. It will help keep you grounded.

[s_cianci]

In my experience LDRs rarely if ever work. I could tell you loads of stories from my own college years that confirm this. On more than one occasion a freshmen girl would arrive on campus from a location 2000 miles away, showing off her beautiful diamond engagement ring "from her fiance back home" and "we're getting married as soon as I graduate" (which is 4 years away, with 8 months of each year being spent on campus, 2000 miles away from home and fiancé.) Then, after all that, 2 days later she's sucking face with the guy who lives two doors down the hall from me on my dorm wing! Sorry, but based on what I observed during my undergraduate years I believe that LDRs are nothing but a big joke. Avoid them like the plague.

[Skell]

I can understand what a difficult situation you find yourself in. It must be hard to think you have to leave the person you love and go away alone. Iit will be a hard thing for both of you to go through.

But I have to agree with everyone and say that at your age you shouldn't let a relationship hold you back. You need to go and do university and concentrate on that.

I had a GF for 7 years and we didn't have to ever do the long distance thing but I can tell you that often what you think you want at the age of 19 isn't necessarily what you want when you get a little older. Its sad to think that way but true.

My ex thought she wanted to marry me for the 7 years we were together. Then one day everything changed. She no longer loved me. The reason I tell you this is to show you that things change. People change. Your aspirations and life overall changes as you grow.
So just grow, move ahead and do what's best for you. Whatever that may be. But I think most will suggest that uni is the best option at this point in your life.

Good luck and please keep us posted. We will be here to help you through whatever decision you make!

[momincali]

You will only be 19 for a year and it's gone. That's the perfect age to do stuff you will remember, and enjoy remembering for the rest of your life, or regret for the rest of your life. Our maturity usually comes with age for a reason, and that is to grow slowly. Technically, you're still a teen, still learning and maturing and experiencing. So experience. Live. If this guy is meant to be, it will happen later. Go experience and learn at the college of your choice, far away or not, don't let this hold you back.

[talaniman]

Go and have your "university fun" and take it from there! You may or may not be tempted to date other guys there and if you decide to do so... respect your current boyfriend enough to tell him how you truly feel before you start dating! There are tasteful ways to handle it! If you do want to date other people when you get there it doesn't mean that you are a bad person in anyway! People do change (hopefully for the better)!

Its not necessarily what you do but how you do it, and I have to agree that long distance relationships are very hard to maintain. Be real with yor b/f and enjoy your education.

[Krs]

I've been seeing a guy for almost two years but he still has one year to go in school. I love him to pieces and want to stay with him. But i've always heard that long distance relationships dont work. I know i would see him during holidays but i also feel like i might be missing out on university fun when i'm stongly committed to some one and every one around me would be single or have boyfriends there. I don't know what to do... because i love him so much but yet im only 19.

When I was 19 I meet my hubby.
I wouldn't say it was love at first site, although he said it was but I don't believe in it.. anyway..
We hit it off really well. He was english, good looking, fun, and charming and I feel for him in a big way and the feeling was mutual.

After 9 months of dating he had to leave to go back to england. He is English. Im not. He was here visiting his mum.

We thought it through and decided to have a long distance relationship, but we both agreed on everything. To be faithful to one another. I was still 19 and he was 22.. difficult age.

We did. For 1 whole year we lived in 2 separate countries.. Trust me it was HARD, very HARD. But because we both wanted it we got through it.
In that year we saw each other every 3 months for 10 days or so.
It's a heartbreaking experience trust me... But I felt it was worth it.
Then I left home and moved to UK to be with him, lived there for 6 years. Now we back to my home.. married and just moved into our new apartment..

So that's my story.
It worked for me and I believe it worked because we both remained faithful, we were trust worthy and wanted to be together.

[tirednhurt86]

Heyy

When I was 17 my ex boyfriend was 22 and I had already gotten accepted to the college of my dreams right before I met him. I decided to still go away and to try long distance- we were 3 months in when I left. It worked for a while ( although I was really lonely) but then it started to fall apart. I began to question if I was missing out on the college experience. I didn't want to party, or even go out with friends- I stayed in my room on the phone with him and when he had to hang up or go out id cry because I missed him. He came and saw me every other weekend and I came home to see him every weekend opposite of that. After 4 months away I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to be with my ex I loved him so much. So I moved back home- and he was happy and so was I- well big mistake that was. After I came back and we saw each other a lot more- we fought a lot- he couldn't take being with me all the time and I felt that I missed out on time with him so I was so excited that I always wanted to be with him. Well anyhow, we ended up going out for 2 years after that time. He just dumped me 5 months ago. And there is not a day that goes by that I don't kick myself for changing my life for him. I gave up my dream college, experiences I could have enjoyed and now I'm stuck home going to community college ( which is not a bad thing I actually like it but it wasn't my dream college as was the other one I left). My advice to you is to follow your heart. Mine told me I should have let go early on- I became so attatched to my ex that I am having an extremely hard time without him now. I wish I stayed at college, I wish I had been sinlge so I could have had that time to party and meet new people and not sit in my room depressed without him. Please learn from my mistake- do not change your life for anyone. Do what you want to because it could end like mine unfortuantely did, and then you will be kicking yourself. Goodluck and I hope you make the right choice for you.

[Krs]

That's why you both have to be strong in this sort of situation.
Make pacts to each other and promise to be faithful and not go behind eachothers back because you can because they not with you 24/7.

COMMUNICATION IS essential in this kind of relationship.

Our pact was that if we ever did something that would hurt the other we would tell them immediately because its not fair to take the other person for a ride.

[K_3]

You can never get your youth back, go, have fun. If your relationship is to be it will be when you get back. Look at all of the servicemen that are gone and their relationships can work. If you want it to, it will. You can not spend so much worrying about the future, as one thing about it, it is always subject to change even if you stay where you are.