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Delow84 · May 22, 2009, 07:31 PM

So just like the heading, I am talking to this girl... and it's hard for me to tell how she feels. Girls I don't really care about are easy to read, but in this my own feelings are clouding everything.

I can't tell if she likes me more then a friend. We will talk on the phone or through messages a lot, and we will go out together, but even still I can't tell if I am just a friend or what.

Izzyy · May 22, 2009, 08:49 PM

Take it easy. Don't even think into it, just be laid back and things will come to you.

talaniman · May 22, 2009, 09:09 PM

How many dates have you had, and how long have you known each other?

Delow84 · May 25, 2009, 01:47 PM

so you I tried to do what izzyy suggested, before even getting to check this.

We had had a couple dates to the movies, or other places that are different, and all day thing at a wildlife reserv (she likes the zoo I thought it would be cool)

and then a few nights watching movies at her apartment, and lunch at my work once.

The last time we went out, shoot some pool and darts, we ended up leaving holding hands, back to her place and laying together. (that kind of told me what I wanted to know haha)

Thanks ^_^

dudevill · May 25, 2009, 01:49 PM

Put yourself out there. It definitely seems like you guys have something and it's going at a healthy pace, but don't be afraid to take some risks! She might be waiting for you to make the first move, and chances are she's probably thinking the same things you are.

talaniman · May 25, 2009, 01:56 PM

At this point just keep doing what your doing. I see no reason to change what is working. Have fun.

Delow84 · May 25, 2009, 02:08 PM

lol tal, read my other post "my mind says this..." and then read this.

good while it lasted, but nothing is forever ^_^

talaniman · May 25, 2009, 02:28 PM

What did I miss? You saw the ex, and then stopped again. What does that have to do with the present date?

Delow84 · May 25, 2009, 02:30 PM

She was the present date haha ^_^

talaniman · May 25, 2009, 08:04 PM

Let me know when your done playing the kid games.

Romefalls19 · May 26, 2009, 05:48 AM

So you were moving on, then decided to go back to an ex? Stop playing games and mature

liz28 · May 26, 2009, 06:06 AM

When you continue to play with fire you will continue to get burnt.

She is having fun toying with you and your having fun by allowing her to. The two of you are playing games with each other.

So the question is "When will you learn?"

jmw0713 · May 26, 2009, 08:30 AM

Sounds like games to me. If you want to keep this up, you have to let things progress naturally... especially since it is your ex. It is going to take a loooong time to establish anything with her again.

The "new" relationship with her, will not feel the way it did the last time. You may never form the bond you had with her this time, like you did in your previous relationship. As a result, it will probably be short lived and just as heart breaking when it ends. You will be fooled twice by the same female, and left in another heartbroken rut.

--OR--

She will just string you along until she finds someone to move on with (or cheat on you with), and leave you behind AGAIN. She already made her choice on where you stand in her life... a door mat. She cheated on you and did all of those horrible things, yet like a whipped dog that only gets to live in the dog house outside, you come back and show her affection. How long do you think it will be before she cheats again and puts you through hell??

--ADVICE--

My advice for you is to suck it up, save your pride and dignity, show her you are a man who does not deserve to be treated like s---, and drop her like the cheater she is. Why prolong your pain by going back out with an ex that has no regard for how you feel. She has stated how she feels about with her past actions. Yet you still take it. Why is she even worth it?

Have you re-read the post you have referred Tal too?

Are you really THAT desperate, that you need to go back to this uncaring, selfish, and immature biatch?

Dude, its time to take your life and make it something you are proud of. It's time to get rid of these unhealthy people and relationships and move on to something WAY better.

Try talking to some of those nurses at that hospital you work at (assuming you still work there) and tell this poor excuse for a woman to take a hike!

Delow84 · May 27, 2009, 11:48 PM

Sigh. Well I apologize if everyone got the idea I was playing kid games.

I was moved on, still am. We tried reconnecting as friends, of course old feelings started to surface. I stopped it there. I got a little carried away. Nostalgia can do that I suppose.

Liz your right, play with fire and you will get burned. I thought maybe like Jmw said (the first part) just let a new thing progress normally. Again, I got carried away with it. I figured, 2 years (relatively small amount of time I know) we had both changed considerably. That little part of me hoped for that.

Was not trying to play games, I was straight up and honest with her, just not myself.

I am sorry my response to Tal came off as, I don't know, kiddy I guess.

And Jmw I had come to the same conclusion you advised me. I do still work at the hospital, and do have a pretty active life. I don't need her.

Sigh, now I just have that feeling to hang my head in shame.

NC restart. Guess I'm one of those test mice, that need multiple shocks before I figure it out.

Thanks everyone, and sorry I wasted time with something I should have known better about.

jmw0713 · May 28, 2009, 07:12 AM

Don't be too hard on yourself. I know my post was harsh, but I really think you need to look back on the history you had with her before you decide on forming any sort of relationship with her.

She messed with you BIG time. You didn't deserve that then, nor do you deserve that now.

I can vouch for the saying "The past is destined to repeat itself." When I first got with my ex, she was talking to me while her and her exBF were on a "break". History repeated itself 9 months ago, when she did the same thing to me. That's why I don't think it would be wise for you to try and get back with your ex. The probability of her hurting you again is a good possibility. There is no need to relive the pain you went through the first time.

You are a nice guy... just like me. We care too much about the people we love (or loved), no matter what they did to us. I would probably fall in the getting back with the ex trap as well. I know the memories you shared with your ex seem to be golden right now. If you honestly look back, and take an objective view of the past, I think you will find that it wasn't all peaches and cream. That's what I have to do from time to time. As a matter of fact, I ALMOST broke NC last Friday. I was drunk and was in the process of writing her a text message (at 3am no less). Then I thought back to all the crap that happened while we were together and all the advice I received here. I stopped writing it and turned my phone off. I ended up breaking down that night... I still don't know why.

The point of my rambling is to let you know a lot of us are going through the same thing you are. It takes time to heal and get over the pain we suffered, or are suffering. In my case, sometimes it take a LONG time to get over the hurt. However, we will eventually. We just have to be strong and believe in ourselves enough to give our minds and our hearts enough time to heal.

Chin up chap! No need to be shameful. Just be glad you thought everything through before you got too deep. I know you are looking for that special connection with someone. I am too! You have to keep living life and be open for whatever comes your way. Love will find us when we are not looking and where/when we least expect it.

talaniman · May 28, 2009, 09:47 AM

One day you will be able to be honest with yourself, and others.