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    dincher's Avatar
    dincher Posts: 163, Reputation: 12
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    #1

    May 21, 2009, 05:40 PM
    Innocense vs. experienced
    I have a question about someone whom I know and I'm trying to understand the person's pychology.

    The person loves "innocent" people - (or people who don't have a lot of experience, and who seem very innocent) even though this person is someone who's experiened in many things - relationships, drugs, etc etc - basically someone who's led a wild life.

    So I'm trying to understand the psychology behind that - why do some people who are very expeirenced and who have a little bit of a bad boy or bad girl in them like the innocents/ nerds etc?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    May 21, 2009, 05:49 PM

    Perhaps they think they can control them better
    BlackVY's Avatar
    BlackVY Posts: 823, Reputation: 154
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    #3

    May 21, 2009, 05:54 PM

    Maybe they know what kind of person they don't want to be with, i.e. nobody like themselves
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
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    #4

    May 21, 2009, 06:07 PM

    Maybe they don't know what the hell they want. They're all over the place with their life and I'm sure they've had their fair share of bad boys/girls.

    Even the bad ones know when they can spot trouble. Maybe picking the "innocent" ones gives them a sense of control and safety.
    dincher's Avatar
    dincher Posts: 163, Reputation: 12
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    #5

    May 21, 2009, 06:28 PM

    Yes, that's what I figured. Because they can control them better. It makes a lot of sense.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
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    #6

    May 21, 2009, 08:06 PM

    It's not that we act mean, it's that we learn to stand strong and not let the other person walk all over us.

    If one of the two people in a relationship is much weaker than the other, it's going to be a very one-sided relationship.
    Triysle's Avatar
    Triysle Posts: 245, Reputation: 84
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    #7

    May 21, 2009, 08:39 PM
    Perhaps he is looking for someone to protect, instead of use. I know that personally, I have made... well... a lot of mistakes in my life. But the only way to learn from a mistake is to make it, and sometimes those are our greatest lessons.

    Perhaps he is seeking someone that he can share his knowledge with, though unfortunately he may be setting himself up for more heartbreak; people usually need to actually make the mistakes before they truly understand the lessons to be learned from them.

    Or perhaps I'm totally wrong and he wants to manipulate the innocent person more easily. It's certainly possible ;)

    ~ Tee
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #8

    May 22, 2009, 05:47 AM

    This is where I may get roasted, but maybe a bad person picks a "nerd" because they feel a sense of security. Everyone has insecurities, dating someone who is "pure" can sometimes add a safety net, you feel much more comfortable because you think there's a greater chance they won't cheat on you or leave you because they think you are on a higher league of their own(this coming straight from a friend of mine who does this)

    It's sort of like that saying "once bitten, twice as shy"
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #9

    May 22, 2009, 08:17 AM
    I must say I love this question... really!

    I know quite a lot of 'bad' boys and girls and I think it might varry a lot from person to person. (hehe and yup this is where I come in with an anecdote ;)) One of my best friends always look and seem as if she is very shy and innocent and she gets a lot of attention from certain types of people. The last two wanted her because (well she's amazingly gorgeous) but they also thought that she was the type of person that can be easily controlled...

    But I do think that some see it as a safety net.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #10

    May 22, 2009, 08:46 AM

    As has been said,perhaps they feel they can have the upper hand with someone less experienced.

    On another note ,could be they have reformed and know what they don't want in a partner.

    As in someone like they used to be.

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