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angelisback · May 5, 2009, 03:15 AM

Hi friends

I am going thrugh a difficult state of confussion. Just hoping you all can help me.
I am a Indian Girl. I was in love with a guy. But iniatialy we have decided that
We will not fall in love and be friend forever. Few days back My parents has
Chosen a guy for me for arrange marriage. He matches with my expectation so
I was not able to say no to my parents. And before 3 days one of my coulege
Who is also my good friend has proposed me.

I am a bit confused what should I do, to marry a person chosen by my parents
Or wait for person I love or the person love me. Things become really complecated

I am very much confused. Please help me

PVRao · May 5, 2009, 03:35 AM

Did your colleague propose to marry you.. does he reach your expectation? If intercaste, will your parents agree..

Have you told your fren you love him? Does he wishes to marry you..

1. Friend
2. Parents
3. Colleague

This sounds like the typical Ektha Kapoor serial...

Sweety,, what's more important to u.. friend, colleague or parents..

u'l always have your friend around with you,, (there goes 1)

How sure are you that your colleague is committed to you.. he mite be looking for a fling... (3's gone) (it's true, love the one who loves you,, but you never really know the difference by the way love and infatuation)

If your parents wan you to get married, and your working, you mus be of age,, if the guy your parents choose reaches your expectations,, then what's the problem.. go ahead,,

ylaira · May 5, 2009, 03:44 AM

I am going to advise you based on what I grew up with. I will not marry someone that my parents just chose for me, neither a friend that just proposed out of the blue.

I'll marry because I love the person and we both believe that we're for each other.

mum45 · May 5, 2009, 03:51 AM

If I had married who my step dad wanted me to marry I would have married a ugly, skanky, no teeth, stinky, creepy guy. Ok as a teen he creeped me out. Made my skin crawl and watched me a lot. Now he is all the above and lives like 2 miles away. Ewww, creeps me out just thinking about THAT...

Marry for passionate, romantic, heartfelt, true, wonderful LOVE!

PVRao · May 5, 2009, 03:52 AM

Originally Posted by ylaira

I am going to advise you based on what I grew up with. I will not marry someone that my parents just chose for me, neither a friend that just proposed out of the blue.

I'll marry because I love the person and we both believe that we're for each other.

We'r talking about India here,, more than 75% of Indians go through arranged marriage and lead a successful life,, the divorce rates in India is far far less than US or any other country and the reason being we'r committed n we learn to love the person we are with...

Marriages are made in heaven,, to us Indians,, our parents are God and since God arranged our marriage, love is not an issue,,

ylaira · May 5, 2009, 04:00 AM

Originally Posted by PVRao

we'r talking about India here,,, more than 75% of Indians go thru arranged marriage and lead a successful life,,, the divorce rates in India is far far less than US or any other country and the reason being we'r committed n we learn to love the person we are with....

marriages are made in heaven,,, to us Indians,,, our parents are God and since God arranged our marriage, love is not an issue,,,

Parents are God and love is not an issue? OK. I'm out of here.

NWN · May 5, 2009, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by PVRao

marriages are made in heaven,,, to us Indians,,, our parents are God and since God arranged our marriage, love is not an issue,,,

There's the answer you are looking.

Romefalls19 · May 5, 2009, 06:22 AM

Sadly, you have a decision to make. You can chose to make your parents happy and go through with the arrange marriage or wait out for love that you feel is worthy of your heart.

I do not know much about you religion so I cannot say what you should do, if it were me I would wait for love but that is also my opinion and not dealing with your beliefs.

talaniman · May 5, 2009, 07:24 AM

You should always do what you think is best for yourself.

angelisback · May 5, 2009, 10:35 AM

Thanks friends
I am a able to get out of confusion a bit.
I am very much sure that I will not hurt my parents, they should be happy by my decision.

Romefalls19 · May 5, 2009, 10:39 AM

I suggest you voice your concerns with them, see how they feel. I know that's not custom for your culture, but they may see your side of things.