[Curiosfellow]

My wife recently joined a popular social networking site. She found an old friend from High School and they spent like 3 hours chatting online and then another hour texting.
She said they were good friends in high school but never went out together. I didn't think too much of it because I want to trust my wife. Anyway, that was last Sunday. Since then there have been a few phone calls to each other. One lasted almost an hour as she sat in her car when she got home from work. I asked her who she was talking to and she was honest and said his name and what they talked about so again no big deal because I think I can trust her. Well, now I am getting suspicious. I noticed her chatting online again and whenever I would walk by the door she would minimize her chat window.
I even caught her looking out for me as she typed. This got me thinking.

I waited till she went to bed and reluctantly I got into her cellphone to check her text messages only to find that she had erased all of them. So then I logged into our provider website and was able to see all of the calls and text numbers. Amazingly I saw that they had been texting every day and a lot of it everyday. I could not see the actual texts but did see that there were a number of them that had pictures. I again looked in her phone to look at the pics and there was only one pic of her ( self portrait ) which was taken the same day as the other activity. So what happened to the other pics right? I went to bed feeling uncertain about what was going on until last night.

She started texting him at like 8:00pm and she was even reading me some of his texts to me and we we both laughing. But I had to work early this morning so I went to bed at 11:00 and they were still texting. Again I checked the phone this morning before work and again she had erased all the text messages. And when I checked the bill online today, I saw that they texted all day yesterday starting shortly after she got to work.

I feel like an for spying on her but am I wrong to be suspicious after her behavior? What I don't get is the picture texts to him. She has pics posted on her website of her, the house, cars, animals,friends,etc. And I know they are "friends" so they can look at each others profiles. And even then, there was only one pic of her in her phones pic album. So what were the others? I do love my wife and have never had a problem
With trust before. Does anybody know something else I should try that will give me some peace of mind. Or am I just over reacting.

[chuff]

Sounds like something is going on, but you have no proof so you are out of line to say for sure.

At this point, I'd remind her that you loved her enough to make commitment and to you that is not puppy love or romantising about sometime in the past but choosing to live in the present.

I also think you have every right to ask why she looks out for you when she IM'ing him and the chats are so elusive that she has to minimzie them when you walk in.

[ylaira]

You wouldn't if know you're just over reacting unless you tell your wife how you feel.

[snow124]

Before my ex left me to see another man, it was pretty similar to this. Constant texting, eventually with her hiding them from me, although she would read some of them to me and laugh about them.

I would be of mind to distrust her as well, but simply because of my own experiences just a few months ago. With my situation, I think she was honest about who she was talking to and when she spent time with him because it made her feel like she was not being deceptive.

Baseless accusations can be harmful. But, if your wife can't understand why you'd feel jealous or suspicious about such activity and would act offended if you implied anything by sitting down and having a calm, honest conversation with her about it, that's not your problem. I think you should do just that. Any reasonable person would be understanding about concerns like that. Talk to her.

[talaniman]

When things bother you talk to your mate, before you get all snoopy, or suspicious.

But now That you have snooped, you better tell her how you feel, including why your suspicious, as trust me, if you go about this in a confrontational or angry way,

Well, now I am getting suspicious. I noticed her chatting online again and whenever I would walk by the door she would minimize her chat window.
I even caught her looking out for me as she typed. This got me thinking.

You will have hell to pay.
When things happen is when you talk about it so choose your time carefully and just talk to her.

Honest communications, and trust, are the foundations of a healthy relationship. Keep your cool, and get facts.