[liz28]

A Women's Guide To Male English

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 

I'm hungry = I'm hungry 
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy 

I'm tired = I'm tired 

What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before 

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! 

I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
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A Man's Guide To Female English

We need to talk = I need to complain 

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to 

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important 

We need = I want 

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now  --

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later 

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! 

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period 

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...  

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! 

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep 

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive 

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like 

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV 

Is my bum fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful 

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me 

Are you listening to me! = [Too late, you're dead.] 

Yes = No 
No = No 
Maybe = No 
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry 

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house 

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it  --

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. 

All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

[rxnarunner]

Very funny!! I had a good laugh... thanx

[shazamataz]

Haha... very true! :D good one Liz!

[Catsmine]

Good one, Liz. When are you going to finish this Martian/Venerian dictionary?

[88sunflower]

This is so right on! That made me smile for sure. Thanks liz.

[Sahi444]

That was BRILLIANT Liz .Did you make that by your own? Hatts off to you

:cool:

[oscarlicous]

That was good. And some of it was true!! :)

[liz28]

Good one, Liz. When are you gonna finish this Martian/Venerian dictionary?

I don't know but why don't you help me finish it.

[Catsmine]

Let's see

You're beautiful in anything = Don't ask me what those jeans make you look like.

I'm sorry = I think I'm right.

Whatever you'd like for dinner is fine = as long as I don't have to cook it.

Wait, are these supposed to be funny?