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sisbos · Apr 28, 2009, 10:55 AM

Don't know what to do . My husband and I have been married for 37 years and through the years he is turned into a couch potato, he's never been too much of a worker and never been handy around the house . Always wanting to sit around and play cards on his PC. Go out to eat or sleep with his 2 hour naps everyday he will go grocery shopping and cooks a few times a week he is 59 years old and retired . I have compaired him to older men and they mosly have more energy than he does, he doesn't like me to talk about it at all says that is the way he is and there's nothing wrong . He does have slighty high blood pressure which is under control with his DR's care and a small dose medicine , and is about 50 pounds over weight . I've tried walking and tried to get him to go but no way he won't . I've tried all kinds of diets and he gets the weight right back on . Counseling he doesn't like and refuses to go.I'm lost and now furustrated which makes me criticize him when I know that's not good .If anyone has any ideas please let me know . Thank you !

StaticFX · Apr 28, 2009, 11:12 AM

Start doing lots of stuff without him.. why should you sit around just because he does? Go out with the girls... HAVE fun. His loss

StaticFX · Apr 28, 2009, 11:13 AM

That was weird.. I posted.. it said it was too short.. I posted again.. and my original post shows up! Lol ignore this one :)

artlady · Apr 28, 2009, 11:19 AM

He sounds as if he is suffering from depression and self induced boredom.

Tell him he needs to get a hobby,nothing too strenuous.Fishing is a great non athletic hobby.

If he likes the computer poker,see if you can't join a poker club in your area.
Maybe once he starts getting out his self esteem will improve and he will want to do it more.

Tell him this is not the way you wanted to spend your golden years,watching him sleep.

Join a cooking class together.

Make sure he knows your concern comes from a place of love and tell him the very best thing he could do for his BP is walk!

Do you have a dog? Maybe if he had a dog he would be forced to get out and walk.Shelters are full of older dogs who would love to be adopted.
If all else fails,don't put your life on hold.You have a right to enjoy these years.

liz28 · Apr 28, 2009, 12:18 PM

I think he lacks motivation and that is something you can't make him have. You can only give hime suggestions and it is up to him if him listens to it.

If he is open to the idea maybe the two you should join a gym. Working out would be good for him and believe it or not but it gives you energy and is good for your overall health.

DoulaLC · Apr 28, 2009, 12:45 PM

Is there anything he used to do that he enjoyed? Or that you used to do as a couple but it has fallen by the way side over the years? Anything that he, or the two of you, would like to learn or take up?

Maybe trying to rekindle any old hobbies or activities... if nothing else, take in a movie and dinner out together once in awhile just to change up the routine. Perhaps start having a date night once a week or every other week. Each of you can pick an activity to do or place to go... car show (my husband's personal favorite), a theater production, concert, musical, go see a comedian, fair or festival, art show, museum, sporting event, a picinic at the park, horse or dog racing... find the section in your local paper that lets you know what's coming up in your area.

I agree... you can suggest, encourage, entice, and so forth, but don't let his not wanting to budge stop you from enjoying yourself. Have your own hobbies and things you do with friends or family members too.