[shannonwillis2000]

My husband got temporary custody of my four year old daughter even though his drug test came back positive for marijuana. He has only been home 6 days in a little over a month and my daughter is staying with his mother. He has to take a drug test every week and it just came back positive again for marijuana. I know he has not stopped smoking because he has smoked for over 10 years. The judge said the reason for him getting temp. custody was because I moved out of state and she has lived in Georgia her entire life. What can I do to get my daughter back? I filed for divorce in a small South Georgia town, and my huband has a powerful attorney who is friends with the judges. I am on my second attorney, because my first one did not seem to care about getting me custody of my daughter. I am desperate for some really good advice.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, did you get permission from the court before you moved out of state ? If not you could well have been in violation of the divorce decree which would have gave your ex a legal right to get temp custody.

Now what happens is a full court hearing for full custody rights, So you will need to prove that you can provide for her proper visitation with your ex and also show where his home is not a fit home
( but believe me in small town GA that does not much matter often, and yes it is who you know)

[shannonwillis2000]

Thank you so much for having a little bit of interest in this.

I have been in a bad situation my entire marriage. My husband was gone all the time on the road, and always left me with hardly any money even though he had plenty of it. I was trying to finish school so I could give my daughter a good future. She is my life, and I will do anything for her. My husband physically and mentally abused me. I was ready to get out, but somehow I never could leave. Because I was so unhappy I did something no spouse should do.
I fell in love and became pregnant with another man. Because I had an IUD I felt that the pregnancy was meant to be. I am not trying to make excuses, and I know that it was totally my fault. I am not trying to defend myself. I committed adultery, and there is no way around it. I could have easily had an abortion, but I could not let my child pay for my actions.
I filed for divorce without a lawyer on January 9th of this year, and left with my daughter the day my husband got the papers. The next day, my husband came to where I was staying and snatched up my daughter. He ran me into a tree while I was trying to open his truck door. He went straight to the courthouse and got a temporary order for custody for a month. He told the judge that I abandoned my daughter, and a lot of other lies. The judge did not even ask for my side of the story before giving him custody. I was devastated, and I knew the only way to be with my daughter was to go back.
I went back for 2 weeks, but did not stop the divorce. After I would not sign the papers, he physically threw me out and would not let me see my daughter.
I finally got enough money up to get a lawyer. However, I got one that sucked. He told me that I would be lucky if I got joint custody and that I needed to settle. My husband and I settled on a temporary order where our daughter was with me half the time and the other half with him.
The next month I had a placenta abruption with my pregnancy, and was put on bed rest. My mother died when I was young, and my dad does not work. I had no family to help me out.
The father of my child, who I was in love with, lives in Virginia. To save my pregnancy, I moved in with him. My ex told me that I could get our daughter full time while she was in school. I was foolish and I believed him. I have him on tape admitting that what he told the judge the first month was all one big lie. I knew for sure that he would get in trouble for that. I wanted our child to be with her father as much as she could. So I let my ex spend more time with her than the temporary order said. Thinking she would me with me full time during the school year, I thought she would be with me a lot longer while in school.
The first week of August my ex sent our daughter to school in Georgia. I had a feeling he was going to do that the day before so I got a plane ticket at 6:30 in the morning to pick her up. The school would not let me get her, because my name was not on the pick up list. Even though I showed the principle the temporary order papers, she would not let me pick up my daughter. My ex was out of state so his sister had to pick my daughter up.
I am disappointed with the school system in Thomas County. Anyone can enroll a child in school and not show any proof of custody papers if he or she is separated. I could have had a restraining order against my husband, and he could have still enrolled our daughter in school. This is outrageous.
I had to hire another attorney, because my current one did not do anything. He did not even give me advice on how to handle the situation. The next day I got a 3 day emergency hearing. At the emergency hearing, my new lawyer proved to the judge that my ex had a conviction of simple battery. He was put in jail for hitting his mother and sister 2 years ago. My lawyer also proved to the judge, by giving him transcripts of several phone conversations, that my ex lied to another judge the first month to get temporary custody. He proved to the judge that my ex was gone several days at a time because he works on the road. Because my ex had a history of drugs, we were both ordered to take a drug test. The next day my test came up clean while his was still pending, so the judge was going to tell us his decision three days later. His lawyer told my ex to take another test the next day.
Conveniently, that one came back clean. However, I found out in court that the first one came back positive for marijuana.
The judge gave my ex temporary custody of our daughter. His reason was because our daughter had lived there her entire 4 years of life. She was always with me her entire life. She was use to her father coming and going because of work. I was horrified by his decision. There is nothing I can do, and that makes me feel worse.
Now that he has custody of our daughter, he feels like he has control over me. My ex told me I could only talk to my daughter one time a day between the hours of 5:30 and 7:00. I can not tell her to have a good day at school in the morning or see how she is doing right after school.
I feel that the judge made his decision based on me having a baby with another man. My actions were totally immoral, and he should have punished me for adultery. However, he should not punish my daughter by not letting her be with her mother. My daughter cries every day for me on the phone. I know that my ex’s family is telling her horrible things about me. The only thing I can do is tell her how much I love her, and that I will see her soon. Now she is without a mother and most of the time without a father because he is on the road. My lawyer told me that he will probably get my daughter when we have a hearing for the final divorce because of the temporary custody. That has got to be something else I can do about this situation.
I know the judge wants to do what is best for the child. The best thing for my daughter is for her to be with her mother or her father. Right now she is with neither. My ex tells me every time I talk to him, the reason I can not see my daughter is because of me not going back to him. He still wants me back, and will use our daughter in any way he can. This is the only way he has to control me now, and it is sick.
My ex has been on drugs ever since he was 14 years old. I have never known him not to smoke marijuana. I do not think that he has quit even though he was ordered to take a drug test every week. He knows about a great drug flush kit to buy. I think it did not work for him the second time, and that is why the test results were positive. I know he is going to mess up soon.
Is this punishment from God for what I did? I have asked for forgiveness, and no matter what, I know I can not go back to my ex. I know God is not happy with the decisions I've made, but I can only go forward and try to do the right thing now.

[s_cianci]

In a situation such as this, every party feels he or she is in the right. The judge has to make his/her decision based on the "facts" as presented by the parties involved. The judge will inevitably believe that both versions of the "facts" are tainted and prejudiced and not 100% true. Therefore the decision is made based entirely on the whim of the judge. This is not to say that (s)he always applies common sense concerning what's best for the child. With so much pressure that society exerts on everybody nowadays to be "politically correct" judges are reluctant to address even the most obvious character defects such as drug use. It often boils down to who has the craftiest or most argumentive lawyer.

[teenam1111]

My husband got temporary custody of my four year old daughter even though his drug test came back positive for marijuana. He has only been home 6 days in a little over a month and my daughter is staying with his mother. He has to take a drug test every week and it just came back positive again for marijuana. I know he has not stopped smoking because he has smoked for over 10 years. The judge said the reason for him getting temp. custody was because I moved out of state and she has lived in Georgia her entire life. What can I do to get my daughter back? I filed for divorce in a small South Georgia town, and my huband has a powerful attorney who is friends with the judges. I am on my second attorney, because my first one did not seem to care about getting me custody of my daughter. I am desperate for some really good advice.

Well it seems that your ex has custody because you moved out of state . (?) I can't believe a judge would go and let a POT HEAD have a child!! Move back to that state if you can . Get custody and move as far away from him as possible!! My ex was a pot head also . And I be damned if he gets my kids!! 1