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    Miss-T's Avatar
    Miss-T Posts: 28, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 18, 2009, 12:39 PM
    My father is killing me
    Hi,

    I'm 13 years old girl(almost 13)and I have big problem with my parents,especially with my father
    Since I know for myself he was abusive,verbally and physically
    He used to beat me,when I was younger.Now it's not so often but it still happens sometimes
    He calls me with ugly names,telling me that I'll be incapable to have my own life(if I can't find something in kitchen or somewhere),he hates everything that I do,everything that I like

    I don't know what to do anymore
    Last time when he hit me was in November(or October)last year,in front of my friends
    My brother was in my room,and because he's 2 he brokes everything that he touches
    He came(my father(and took my brother out.I said 'Bye' and he(my dearest father)turned to me and slapped me into face,3 times(as much as I can remember).He didn't heard me well,he thought I said 'Bravo'.He never apologized,of course.I used on it and I forgot about it.

    But tonight,he yelled on me again,cause he wanted computer to play games.He used it half hour later and I said NO.He went.I didn't wanted to have another chapter like this one,few months ago so I went upstairs and told him 'There you go' and he said 'I won't'!
    He's acting like spoiled kid.He used to be soldier and he stayed without leg.I know that he must have some traumas but why he has to cure them on me?
    Something's wrong with him,I've never seen person who so much enjoys in others pain.He even beats my brother(who's 2,barely)

    And my mother is just standing there,doing nothing.When something happens she always says that it's my fault.And when he yells on her,she calls him 'crazy idiot'.

    What should I do?
    I thought I can live with this,but I don't think I can handle it anymore


    P.S.I'm sorry If I made mistakes somewhere,English isn't my first language
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #2

    Apr 18, 2009, 12:59 PM

    I think you need to have a serious talk with your mother and tell her that she needs to defend you and look out for you.
    She is probably afraid of him but it is her job to protect you and you need to remind her of that.

    If your problems continue after you talk to Mom I think you may need to talk to an adult you trust who can help you.A friends Mom or a teacher or school counselor.You need an adult to help you through this.

    You are too young to try to handle this by yourself.

    In the meantime ,try to avoid your father as much as possible.

    Take care and come here anytime you need help and we will try our best to be there for you as much as we can.
    Miss-T's Avatar
    Miss-T Posts: 28, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Apr 19, 2009, 08:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by artlady View Post
    I think you need to have a serious talk with your mother and tell her that she needs to defend you and look out for you.
    She is probably afraid of him but it is her job to protect you and you need to remind her of that.

    If your problems continue after you talk to Mom I think you may need to talk to an adult you trust who can help you.A friends Mom or a teacher or school counselor.You need an adult to help you through this.

    You are too young to try to handle this by yourself.

    In the meantime ,try to avoid your father as much as possible.

    Take care and come here anytime you need help and we will try our best to be there for you as much as we can.
    Thank you
    But I can't talk to my mother
    I'll try with someone else
    IheartEdward's Avatar
    IheartEdward Posts: 203, Reputation: 4
    Full Member
     
    #4

    Apr 19, 2009, 01:05 PM

    Do you have social services where you live? That's not healthy at all, and he could end up seriously hurting you or your brother.

    How far are you will to go? Like do you want to get you and your brother out of the house and to somewhere safer?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 19, 2009, 01:08 PM

    Yes, you did not tell us where you live, while not right, abuse of children, esp girls may well be allowed or even considered proper in some cultures. I note this since you say english is not your first language.
    HelpinHere's Avatar
    HelpinHere Posts: 1,062, Reputation: 144
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    #6

    Apr 19, 2009, 08:18 PM

    I am not sure the social/parenting laws in your Serpska, but I don't think that this should be allowed anywhere.

    You ARE too young to do something about this yourself, but I do hope you have someone you can go to to help you. I'm very sorry that isn't your mother.

    I'm proud of you for seeking help on your own. You are just trying to protect yourself (and your brother) and there is nothing wrong with that. I understand his pain from previous experiences, but he isn't "curing" them on you. In fact, it is probably only making them worse.

    If it is permitted in your country, I would recommend having him placed in a mandatory corrections facility to help him with his anger issues until he can get over his anger issues.

    You already made the first, and most important step.
    If you need any more help, or just someone to talk to, feel free to come back here. Everyone here is here to openly help those who need it.

    PS: Don't worry about your English, it is easy enough to tell what you mean, and the way you choose to express yourself is very educated for a 12 (almost 13) year old.
    Miss-T's Avatar
    Miss-T Posts: 28, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Apr 20, 2009, 04:30 AM

    You're right about my location.And yeah laws here doesn't allow any abuse.But no one will speak about it in public,so much.

    I DON'T think I CAN talk to some teacher.School that I go in,my mother works there.They'll tell her

    Talking about this is helping me a lot.

    The other night,I stayed up late listening music.And I had shower around 12PM.My brother didn't wanted to sleep,so he was yelling in his room
    When I got back in my room and heard him and my mother talking.He said something like 'She's making noise at midnight like some craz... uncountable person.He(he meant on my brother)won't sleep cause YOUR child is making noise'
    I think I'll have to sniff around,to find my birth documents,but I won't find anything in it.

    Thanks guys for being support :) I decided to stay here

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