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theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 07:55 PM

Well, I just lost two of my best friends in a fight... and I'm kind of, bisexual and liked one of them... she was my best friend and she kind of liked me back. She said a few days ago that I was her best friend but she needs a break from me and she don't know if she's going to come back. I've talked to my best friend and she's been begging me to try harder and stay alive. I don't know how much longer I can stay strong... I don't want to be here that much... and I want to get back in touch with God so much... but I feel like there's no way. The devil took over me and know I'm alone and I need an escape.

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 08:23 PM

This is in the death or dying section. Did your best friend get into a knife fight, gun fight? Are they dying? Are you wanting to die?

I hope your okay. If you really want to connect with God here is a number that will help you to do that:

1-888-Need-Him

Keep us posted- tell us more so that we can also help you.

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 08:37 PM

There was no gun fight or knife fight... its me... I don't want to kill myself or anything... I've thought of it a few times... but I'm to afraid and I just... need my escape.

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 08:40 PM

What kind of escape and from what?

School? Friends? Boys? Or just everything?

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 08:43 PM

Everything.

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 08:49 PM

How old are you? Have you tried talking to your parents about this?

What is bothering you?

I'm here to help.

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 08:51 PM

I'm 13, I'm way to afraid to talk to my parents, they never understand me... and its bugging me that I lost my best friend, the only one who understood me completely... she just walked away from me... and it hurt so bad.

wanabeaccepted · Apr 17, 2009, 09:09 PM

Hey now... 13 is way to young to be thinking like this, and average age of a person is at least 65-80 isk exactly but look how long you have ahead of you.. you have to have a lot more friends the one(s) you lost if they are your friends they are your comfort they will do the best they can to help you threw your heartbreak... and you guys will become better friends... life is a winding road, some times we tend to slip off the path a little but no matter what it isn't impossible to get back on that road, you just need to take your time and do it carefully
~hope this helped at least a little~

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 09:14 PM

I have some phone numbers you can call if it makes it easier for you to talk on the telephone.

Canada:
1-800-668-6868

USA:
1-800-448-4663
OR
1-800-785-8111

They are completely confidential, there are no recordings and you can ask to speak with a female or male councilor if you want to.

I know 13 is a tough age, hey I was there too. Your parents may be just as understanding or even more- they are your parents.

Why did you and your friend fight?

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 09:22 PM

Well, we didn't exactly fight... she just moved on... she said there's bigger and better things ahead of her... and that shed be better off... and I had to let her go.. I couldn't see her suffer being my friend... even if her leaving makes me suffer... its better then her suffering... I need her more than she realized though.

mudweiser · Apr 17, 2009, 09:27 PM

That doesn't sound like a good friend. A friend wants to BRING you to those BIGGER and BETTER things NOT leave you behind.

Please call those numbers if you feel lonely. I will be back here tomorrow after work.

Please be safe, I'm here for support,

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 09:34 PM

Thank you so much, don't forget about me ? And she is an amazing person... but I ruined her life, as well as mine.

wanabeaccepted · Apr 17, 2009, 09:38 PM

Omg sorry when you said you lost them in a fight I thought that you meant that you phisicaly lost them as in death... I am sorry my bad

theresbeautyinu · Apr 17, 2009, 09:40 PM

Its okay... I reread what I wrote.. and it did kind of sound like that.

mudweiser · Apr 18, 2009, 09:52 AM

Hey, I'm at work right now just checking up on how your doing. Hope your OK.

Why do you think you ruined your friend's life?

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 18, 2009, 02:45 PM

I don't exactly know. I asked her if I did, and she said that I didn't completely... she said she's been going through allot and she thinks it just be better for her if I wasn't in her life because she said that she thinks the majority of what has happened to her was my fault... but I honestly don't know how.

mudweiser · Apr 18, 2009, 02:49 PM

What is it that happened? Did you experiment with drugs, steal? Where there any rumors? What sort of negative things were in your friendship?

The more I know the more I can help you :)

Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 18, 2009, 02:55 PM

Well... like... cutting myself... and um, we were both sort of bisexual... but only liked two people each... we liked each other, and then like, that changed after we told each other... and I think that had a major effect and I asked her and she said that it had nothing to do with that.

mudweiser · Apr 18, 2009, 02:58 PM

Did you guys try stuff together?

Perhaps the whole liking each other and being bisexual is very new to her and she's a little afraid of stepping into that territory. As her friend, I do believe you should back off a little and let her figure things out.

As for you, cutting- Why? Besides your friend-- why are you sad, depressed or angry about? Have you told your parents? Did you call the numbers I gave you? Self harm is never the answer.

I'm here to understand and help you,
Sarah

theresbeautyinu · Apr 18, 2009, 03:01 PM

No no, I stopped, that was a while back, and the bisexual thing was new to both of us... and like... we were kind of long distance friends... and I do understand that she needs a little space... but I need to know what I did, its killing me!