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happygirl14 · Apr 14, 2009, 01:40 PM

Hello there, my name is Farrah. I recently went out with a guy about a month in a half ago. We went out for 4 months, and then he broke up with me because of different reasons. (negativeaty, not being able to see each other that much, and another girl got in to the problem.) I really wanted him back and he was told by his friend that I cheated on him. Not really. This girl, his friend, started texting me getting into everything and being very mean. Now he likes her. She told him lies about me and was trying to give him advice. During are relationship I broke up with him a couple of times, and I can't really remember why. Anyway, He has started to say he doesn't care anymore, never talks to me first and still likes the other girl. I got my guy friend into the problem to help try to talk to him and help things out because he's been in the same thing. It worked a little. But, I'm not really sure. I went on several trips with him, and now he's going on a 5 day trip this week with the girl. I still like him and I've heard he still cares and likes me. But he doesn't seem to act like he does? Why is he doing this? And he says he can't go out with me? Any advice. Thanks.

AManWithNoName · Apr 14, 2009, 04:27 PM

He may be acting that way as a defence mechanism, doesn't want to get hurt again, because you did say you have broken up with him a number of times, maybe its because he doesn't want you getting hurt again, or maybe what ever you heard about him still caring about you wasn't true, missinormation, a lie, who knows
Being the one who's broken up with is aweful, the other person, the one who broke up with you isn't going to feel the same way you do, and that's just plane sucks, your feeling like nothings going to get better, the other person, in this case your exboyfreind, you feel like he's the only one you want, you feel that you two were meant to be, and he probubly feels guilty, but he doesn't want you back
I don't know, I just know you(and I) need to get over that person, the "special person" and try to live with out them, try to cope, excersize is a good way, arguing is also good, try the debate team, I know it sounds nerdy, but it could help, or maybe stay with friends, they know how you feel, and theyr perfectly willing to help you out
About the girl you ex is seeing, ignore her, even if in some way she's the cause of the break up, so is your ex in a way, if he really fealt strongly for you, he wouldn't have listened to her, he would have told her off, and the fact that he didn't just means he really isn't worth all this trouble, and neither is the girl, ignore her, have fun on your trip no matter what she does, and she'll probubly leave you alone, don't mope about some guy who left you for the girl who talks bad about you, be strong

AManWithNoName · Apr 14, 2009, 06:31 PM

What you should say... I'm not exactly sure, maybe cloudy thinking(I'm going through a bad brake up) but maybe you shouldn't say anything, ignore her, because if she's going to be that way twordes you, she really isn't worth your, or anyone else's time, and for your ex, I'm not sure, it may take some time to completely get over him, a broken heart, be it yours or his, takes time to heal, so when the times right, try being friends, don't make the mistake of doing it right after the breakup, because it makes you feel all the more brokenhearted, trust me
But maybe wait a few weeks, or months, and be casual in between, tjen when you two are finally over each other, say"hey we were close, and I'd like it very much to be freinds again, nothing more" or something like that
I just hope you don't make the mistakes my ex made, or the mistakes I made, and remember love is justified, (I know know, and I hope you do too) there are no such things as "meant to be's" or "soul mates" because your bound to get your heart broken if you believe that, love is with whoever you want it to be with, you have to work at it
I hope my advice helps

happygirl14 · Apr 17, 2009, 02:59 PM

Okay. So in my previous question is all the details. But I went out with his guy for about 4 months. And now we broke up 2 months ago. I want him back and sometimes he acts like he likes me and others not. (I don't think he really does) anyway. He likes this girl tooo. And I want to help him. (shes one of the reasons that got him over me so quick, she was lying, etc. ) but she likes him and another guy. Should I just let all this go, even though I really care. I'm not jeeallouss! She is. Please heelp.

HelpinHere · Apr 19, 2009, 07:51 PM

All I have to say:

If he isn't willing enough to show he likes you in public, then why should you try to get back with him?
No commitment from him shows he doesn't deserve you and he knows it.

happygirl14 · Apr 25, 2009, 08:29 PM

Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, I think he wants to start over, but we haven't successfully resolved everything, he broke up with me because I slightly cheated (not really), and he does or did like another girl. We never really went on a date, just trips. We are 13. Just how should we try to make things go back to the way it all use to bee?

JoeCanada76 · Apr 25, 2009, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by happygirl14

me and my ex broke up 2 months ago, i think he wants to start over, but we havent sucessfully resolved everything, he broke up with me bc i slightly cheated (not really), and he does or did like another girl. we never really went on a date, just trips. we are 13. just how should we try to make things go back to the way it all use to bee?

1) You are only 13 years old.. What is considered going out and having a boyfriend and girlfriend?

2) What exactly does slightly cheated (not really) mean?

3) If you never really went on a date? That was is the issue here again?

4) You just went on trips, well that is pretty cool, friends do that right?

5) The way it used to be?

6) 2 Months ago broke up, but no really he likes another girl. Right?

7) Not much else to say is that do not take this so series. You two are friends? Friendships change.

Joe

Nestorian · Apr 25, 2009, 08:43 PM

It is not really probable that you can make it go back to the way it was. You've got to move forward, and even that will seem like many steps back.

What do you mean you "slightly" cheated on him?

What about this other girl?

What did you mean by trips?

Once again, you can not go back, you must accept things and move forward.

Peace and kindness be with you.

J_9 · Apr 25, 2009, 09:26 PM

Um, how can you slightly cheat? It's like being slightly pregnant. It doesn't happen. Either you cheated or you didn't. PERIOD.

IheartEdward · Apr 26, 2009, 04:06 PM

Lol you're 13, live your life..

When your that age you think your really old and that you need a boyf and a few years later I promise you will wonder why you thought like that..

AManWithNoName · Apr 27, 2009, 03:57 PM

Starting over isn't normally a good idea, because there's a reason you two split, and its not like that reasons going to disappear

happygirl14 · May 25, 2009, 09:40 AM

Okaay so I met this guyy, he's a little older than me, about a year in a half. I'm 12, he's 14. But in the same grade as me, we don't go to the same school. Anyway he smokes weed and drinks. I don't like the fact of this at all. He doesn't do it very often (once a week) but he asked me out and I said yes. He's actually my friends neighbor. So yeaah. And he has a lot of girls after him and he's not even a virgin. And I just I don't know. I haven't seen him and I only hung out with him one time. And I'm already having trust problems. Should I just stay with him and see what happens or break up?

excon · May 25, 2009, 09:44 AM

Hello Happygirl:

Yeah, you should stay away.

excon

NeedKarma · May 25, 2009, 09:46 AM

I agree with excon.

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2009, 09:49 AM

You break up and stay away. first at 12 you don't need to be dating, but other than that, if caught with drugs on him, guess who also goes to juv court if you are with him.

I can't see where he could or even should be a choice to go out with

happygirl14 · May 25, 2009, 09:53 AM

Okaay so how should I break up with him? I mean he just acts like he likes a lot of girls but he says he doesn't.

Fr_Chuck · May 25, 2009, 09:59 AM

Sorry I don't want to go out with you, and then ignore him

talaniman · May 25, 2009, 02:18 PM

Break up. He is trouble.

ChihuahuaMomma · May 25, 2009, 02:26 PM

Well, let's look at it this way:

CONS:
-He smokes
-He drinks
-He smokes weed
-He's not a virgin at 14
-You've only hung out with him once
-You don't trust him

Pros:
-Can you think of anything?

Lose this loser, he's starting on the wrong path. Don't take that path with him. You can make a lot of yourself if you realize what to stay away from early.

artlady · May 25, 2009, 02:30 PM

He sounds like a kid who is headed for some major trouble in his life and if you are with him,you will put yourself in danger.
Find someone who does not have these problems to hang out with.