[descmorg]

My friend is pregnant. I'm not supposed no, but I found out from another one of her friends. We are in grade NINE. Not the time to be a mom en? Well she is about a month along with her ex boyfriends baby. She is STILL smoking WEED and CIGARETTES. My other friend that knew has been trying to tell her that this is NO joke! She needs to stop, she can't get through to her.. She is keeping this baby because she knows that there is something in her. But she won't stop smoking! The baby is going to come out with tones of health problems and pre mature. And to top everything off she has a new boyfriend who cares for her A lot, he is going to FLIP when he finds out.
I don't know how to get through to her, I no its not my place to tell her what and what not to do, and its not my problem but I care about the life she has in her and she should as well, considering she wants to keep the baby. Someone needs to speak for that baby because it can't tell her to stop.
If someone could please help me out and give me advice to give to her that would me the WORLD to me! And it might even save a baby's life.

Thanks

[DoulaLC]

You are in a tough situation to be sure. You could encourage her friend who "knows" to keep trying to get through to her. Maybe giving her some information from online about the concerns of smoking while pregnant may help. Maybe it won't. Even with many adults, it is sometimes too easy to dismiss the baby simply because you can not see it. Sort of "out of sight, out of mind". That way they don't have to deal with the reality of what their actions may cause. With teens, it can be that way even more so... thinking nothing bad will happen to them.

You could say something to her, but she would likely only get angry at you and at the other friend for telling you. However, since she is a friend, you might give it a try coming from the point of really caring about her health, and knowing that she would obviously want to give her baby the best chance that she could.

It may be that she will only begin to really feel a need to make changes when she starts to show more, starts to feel the baby moving, and the reality of a baby is more obvious to her.

Since she plans on keeping the baby, appeal to her desire to be a good mother, even before the baby is born. I don't know how involved her parents are, but that could be another avenue to try. Also, maybe letting her know that as a young teen, she will be at even greater risk of potential problems, so doing all that she can to insure a healthy pregnancy and baby is going to be extra important and decrease the odds of her, the pregnancy, or the baby having any problems.

Even if she got angry, you will have helped to give her information that she just might think about later and hopefully take notice of. If approached from a loving and caring attitude, it may persuade her to actually listen and make some changes.

If she doesn't, there is not much you can do... no one can force her to make changes.

[descmorg]

You are in a tough situation to be sure. You could encourage her friend who "knows" to keep trying to get through to her. Maybe giving her some information from online about the concerns of smoking while pregnant may help. Maybe it won't. Even with many adults, it is sometimes too easy to dismiss the baby simply because you can not see it. Sort of "out of sight, out of mind". That way they don't have to deal with the reality of what their actions may cause. With teens, it can be that way even more so....thinking nothing bad will happen to them.

You could say something to her, but she would likely only get angry at you and at the other friend for telling you. However, since she is a friend, you might give it a try coming from the point of really caring about her health, and knowing that she would obviously want to give her baby the best chance that she could.

It may be that she will only begin to really feel a need to make changes when she starts to show more, starts to feel the baby moving, and the reality of a baby is more obvious to her.

Since she plans on keeping the baby, appeal to her desire to be a good mother, even before the baby is born. I don't know how involved her parents are, but that could be another avenue to try. Also, maybe letting her know that as a young teen, she will be at even greater risk of potential problems, so doing all that she can to insure a healthy pregnancy and baby is going to be extra important and decrease the odds of her, the pregnancy, or the baby having any problems.

Even if she got angry, you will have helped to give her information that she just might think about later and hopefully take notice of. If approached from a loving and caring attitude, it may persuade her to actually listen and make some changes.

If she doesn't, there is not much you can do....no one can force her to make changes.

Thanks for your time, I will try my best to help her out. Your awnser was great.

[mishelly3]

I would talk to your mom if that's possible if not talk to your school councler she has to keep things private. But your fighting for a life of unborn child here you are so awesome and If I could meet you know I would give you a great big hug and talk to the girl myself. But remember she also scared and frightned and she is smoking pot to escape from her feeling, of be scared, lonely and whole ton of others she really does need a good friend like you.. She is very lucky

[brunettegirl]

I COMPLETELY agree with mishelly3. Talk to your mom or somebody that can get someone to have a good talk with this girl.
I am sure she is very scared and not sure what to do. She is probably thinking if she doesn't acknowldege the pregnancy then it isn't really true.
But I congratulate you for speaking up for an innocent child with no voice. Go tell your parents they did an excellent job raising you to have respect for life.!