[mizz_on_her_own]

Hey!

Okay so here's what is going on. (I don't think I've mentioned her on here at all but I need some advice)I have been dating this girl for almost 4 years. And we are EXTREMELY close although now we live in different states and we have been making this long distance relationship work (in a sense) for about a year. I just have been missing her like crazy lately.

When we had said that we were going to try to make this work we had both agreed on some rules. Surprisingly these rules did not distance us at all it brought us closer. Allowing us to be able to communicate more.

Though now I find it more difficult to even talk to her because I have this weird feelign of my parents not approving of me liking the same sex. That and I have tried to give up liking girls but I find it difficult. I have tried because I know that if my mom knows that I still like girls she will go through with what she threatened and that is keeping the door open when ever I have friends over. Though I even told them this... "because I am the way I am I make sure that all of my friends are straight so you don't have to worry about it."

I don't want any advice if you're going to tell me about how it is a GREAT SIN to like the same sex because I DON'T CARE!!

I just want to know how to keep my mind busy...


The only rule is
1) We can mess around and flirt and date other people as long as they are aware of "us".

Though I have not dated a girl in over a year though she has but I can't bring myself to... do you think I should end the relationship until I can move back down there?

[mamassey20]

First of all you can not help you like/love, it just happens. If your mother can not except that fact and you are unwilling to give up your emotions for girls, then I think you should keep it a secret until you are 18. As for your girl, I think that she may not feel as you do. If she really cared, wouldn't she save her built up sexual frustration for when she sees you again? If I were you I would ask her where she thinks the relationship is heading. Based on your discussion with her, you'll know what to do.

[mizz_on_her_own]

Yeah. Normally she would but it seems as though once I moved hse has turned into a bit of a w**** because when I left she was still a virgin and now she has kept count of how many guys she's done and I don't approve of it and I have told her so. I told her that I had made a mistake by letting go of my innocence and that I didn't want her to make the same but it's too late now because what is done is done. I had also told her that I'm not mad or anything it's just that I wanted her to make a better decision than what I did and wait until she was in love or if at all possible until she was over the age of 18 unlike I who lost my innocence at a VERY early age. I just want the best for her and I want her to be happy. I'd give anything just to give her those two little things. I just wish I could figure out what I should do as to if I should move on as though she seems to havae done or if I should wait to see what we can make of our situation.

[IheartEdward]

That's a pickle.. To be honest, if I were you I'd end it. What's a relationship is she's sleeping with quite a few people and you may have not had a girlfriend in the past year but you've had a boyfriend, it's the same thing. That's not a relationship. Just be friends and if you's live near each other at some point then rethink it.

[HelpinHere]

I agree. As far as it goes, I would recommend calling it off, for now. If you really love her, you cannot help it. It seems to me that you are staying a lot more faithful to her than she is to you.
That doesn't necessarily say anything about her character, but perhaps that she cannot handle a non-physical relationship like you.
It's okay to feel how you do, and it's perfectly normal.
If you are ever around her again, you could try to start it up again then.

As far as the mom thing goes, it sounds like she is just being a mom. If you liked boys, she would make you leave the door open with them, so what is the problem with your girl friends (not necessarily girlfriends)
As long as you are not doing anything wrong, you shouldn't have anything to worry about anyway, so don't let it bother you. It's a mom thing, :P

[mizz_on_her_own]

Okay thank you. I have called it off. She agreed without a fight which actually gave me the relief to know that I can get back out there and try different things when I am ready to get up and quit wallering in my own self pitty. No, I don't have anything to worry about because I am not sexually active AT ALL and I don't plan on it because I made a mistake and I regret it so I don't plan to keep making the mistake, why not wait. Thank you all for your help.

[liz28]

I am glad you broke it of because open relationships rarely works. A long distance relationship is hard work in itself but even harder when your young.

Just be you and hopefully you can find a match for yourself. If your parents don't approve of your sexuality hopefully one day they would open their eyes and accept it. I think your one tough gal.

[HelpinHere]

Glad to hear it!

It's good that you finally got on with your life! Get back out there, and it will get easier with time!

Good Luck with moving on, and glad you could do it!

[mizz_on_her_own]

Thank you all very much for giving me advice!! I couldn't have done it with out you all.