[AManWithNoName]

Well, I've been going out with this wonderful, amazing girl since February. It's a long distance relationship, she lives in California, and I live in virginia, she's one of my goodfreind's cousins. We met at a barmitsfa(correct me if I spelt that wrong) when we first met it was like a spark , we got to talking and we really liked each other. The day she left she gave me her number. It wasn't until February when we started dating. But latley there's been problums.

[mudweiser]

What exactly are the complications? How old are you two?

More info please =)

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

Yeah,sorry about that, I didn't have enough room to type those, I was going to wait for some one to ask hehehe
I'm 15 going on 16 in may, she's 14 going on 15 in November
The problum is, her dad doesn't want her talking to me

[mudweiser]

Ah, well I can see why.

I have a daughter, although she is only two. I as a parent would feel the same. She's 14 and she's all "I love you, I want to be with you..etc" and has something electronic attached to her constantly [phone, p.c. etc].

I know it feels like love, and you must really like her. Duh.

Truth is your far away, for long distance relationships to work you both need to be at a mature age. It makes it a lot harder to maintain a relationship if mom or dad are on your case about it. Plus it leads you to do stupid thing the next time you do see each other. I've seen my friends become pregnant on purpose just so they can be with their long distance boyfriends [this was in high school] and well it didn't turn out to so pretty.

I don't want to say dump her. However, I do believe that both you and her need to experience other things and not be waiting by the phone or the next text or Facebook wall from each other.

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

I defenetly see his concern, but he has talked to me, my mom, and my dad

[HelpinHere]

I've been there. (yes, at your age)

I can tell you this:
It won't last.
It's been two years for me. We aren't together, and we've both moved on with our lives, but we both still love each other. We don't mind that the other has a life without them.

Regardless of whether you like it or not, neither of you are in charge of your lives. You won't be able to be for at least two years, and at least three for her. I can (almost) guarantee that by then you will have had someone else in your life.

You will have both moved on, and you will both be happy without each other, no matter how you feel right now.

At the very least, you cannot continue living your live just to be with one person you cannot even be with realistically for years.

As mudweiser said, you need to live your life, and she needs to live hers. As long as you are together, you can't live your lives as they were meant to be lived.

It isn't easy, but you need to move on. You may love her, and she may love you, but there is nothing you can do about that right now. I'm sure that even if you do end up together in the long run, neither of you will blame each other for living your lives while you couldn't be together.

Live your life and have fun while you can, and if you still want her when you can have her, then talk to her about it then.

[AManWithNoName]

I guess you guys were right, she broke up with me, I don't want to go into the details, but I feel horrible, I'm managing to cope, she's trying to help, we're going to stay good friends, and when the time comes, when we're older, more mature, we're going to try again, I loved her to death, but she's right, right now in our lives, a long distance thing is too complicated, I do hope she still has some feelings for me
I'm going to try to survive, its going to be hard, but thank you for your advice, it helps the pain a little

[mudweiser]

A Man With No Name:

Ah break ups. If it wasn't for them we'd be weak. If this was "true" love, I do believe you will see each other in the later future and rekindle that love.

As an "older person", I'll tell you something that may seem quite annoying to you since it is repeated a lot [with more words or less]:

You will fall in love again. It will get better from this point on.


Go outside, be with friends, do focus on school, and do do productive things with your time [i.e. volunteering].


AMHD is here for support,

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

I thank you a lot, tons, I have an adhd coach, kind of ans adulkt I can talk to, we talked about this, really helped, but I still hurt a lot
And thanks for your support, and one day I do have hopes to be with her, but if it doesn't happin, I'll try to live with it
I'm coping, hurting, feeling bad for myself, beating myself up
But I'm sure, in do time, with some coping mechanisms, like excersize, I think I'll beable to heal with time
But you know, itl take a while, so until then I'm going to feel aweful and everythings going to remind me of her

[mudweiser]

What your experiencing is something completely normal. Break ups are hard. Your breaking a part of you off. Instead of feeling a physical pain like you would if you broke a bone, you feel a pain emotionally.

You shouldn't be beating yourself up. You live with your parents, your quite young. And you need to finish school. These are things you really have no control over, in which effects on having a functioning long distance relationship. It's not your fault that it didn't work out this time around.

I am happy you are seeing the end of the tunnel and didn't take the "emo" way.

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

Haha, of caurse not
But the hardest part of it all is listening to metallica:nothing else matters
Guns n roses:sweet child o mine
Led zeppelin:going to California
Rhcp:californiacation
Wich really sucks, some of my favorite bands, and some of my favorite songs, ruined you know

[mudweiser]

AManWithNoName agrees: haha, no problum, it hurts a lot to get your heart broken, I just don't want anyone to hurt like I do

It's a part of growing up. It's a learning experience everyone eventually gets to. In a way it is a good thing: you find yourself, you gain personal growth, you become a stronger you.

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

Thank you, thank you
You have been so much help, and I hope to stay friends with her, I do, but me and her have some talking to do, to clear some things out, to make the pain hurt less

[mudweiser]

thank you, thank you
you have been so much help, and i hope to stay freinds with her, i do, but me and her have some talking to do, to clear some things out, to make the pain hurt less

One thing I've learned: trying to "clear things up" after a relationship is over is never good. It stirs things up and it really dirties your progress of healing.

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

One thing I've learned: trying to "clear things up" after a relationship is over is never good. It stirs things up and it really dirties your progress of healing.

Sarah

I'm sorry, but we both want to stay friends, and I'd like that a lot

[mudweiser]

I'm sorry, but we both want to stay freinds, and I'd like that alot

I'm not saying don't be friends, just leave the romantic part out- it's done and over with. If you bring stuff back it'll only make your friendship a lot harder to have. In order to move on you need to go froward, not regress.

Sarah

[AManWithNoName]

Love has never really been my forte, whenever I fall for a girl, we allways end up breaking up in a way that isn't really nessasary
Recentley my girlfreind(ex girlfreind) broke up with me, we were in a long distance relationship, of caurse there were complications and difficulties, some arguments, her folks didn't want her talking with me, our only communication was our phones, and it seemed like we took turns getting them taken away by our parents, the three hour difference, last Friday she got caught texting in class, which we did a lot, and got the privelage to take her phone to school away, so I thought things were going to be fine until Monday evening, because we did what we normally did Friday through Monday morning, flirt, tell each other"I love you""I love you too", but that evening I got a call from her, I was excited, she normally couldn't call around that time because shed be at swim or in the car with her mom, but I couldn't poick up because I was moving boxes out of my grandmas apartment, so she left a message that pretty much said,"um, Andrew, I don't think we're working out out, things arw just getting too confusing and complicated, your never gonna move down here and I'm never gonna move down there, so we're done" I was heart broken, I loved her so much
That night we talked, I tried to ask if she still loved me, she said " I don't know" she said she still wanted to talk, I said "of caurse" and we do, but the last few days have been me asking her if we can try again this summer when things are less complicated, and if she still lloved me, the answere now,"I'm sorry" I've been in so much pain this week
I got to know, will I ever get over her, she's going to fall in love with someone else, and I'm going to end up being the jealouse ex boy friend, and its going to be twice as worse because he's going to be able to do all the things with her that I could never do, so I need help getting over her before too late
Also, do you think that she still loves me, I hope so, and I know, I'm getting my hopes up, she's not as perfect as you thought she was anderw, ectectect
But, do you think she broke with me because she stopped loving me, or because of the distance and all the complications
Please, I need help before I end up hurt, more hurt than I am right now
Also, if you could give me advice on staying friends with her without trying to ask the why's the what ifs and the do you stills
Thank you

[nikkiboo]

OK... I can see that you are very confused,and yes it is going to be hard,I'm kind of going threw the same thing and sometimes I don't no what to do either, so let me start by telling you that you are not alone, every one will go threw this at one point in their life, sometimes things work out and sometimes things don't, sorry to tell you this but I think the best thing to do is move on, just take it one by one(baby steps) start by hanging out wit your friends do something to get her off your mind, but still talking to her is just going to make things worse,tell her that its hard for you to just be her friend and in order to get over her you can't talk to her, yes it is going to be very hard but I promise things will get better please rite back soon

[IheartEdward]

All you can do is carry on with your life and someday you'll stumble across another girl that's going to take oyur breath away. And you'll tell yourself that its love and the love you had for the girl before is nothing compared to this. Then you might break up with her and the cycle will happen again, its called life.

And for the her loving you bit, she's the only one that can answer that.

[Fuzzball_Kara]

If you really want to get better and not feel so much heartache, I've learned that when you busy yourself with friends and activities, there's no time for it. Have fun. When a good opportunity comes your way, take it and don't look back. Before you know it, you'll find yourself to be high on life and she'll look at you're confidence and success and say "Wow... if only I had thought more before I left him." And even better, you'll learn even more about yourself.

However, I don't care who you are or what you've been through. Getting broken up with hurts and it always will. Just always strive to do things that make you smile and in the end, it will all be good. I promise. :)