[xxxlovecanhurtxxx]

My mom and I have been fighting ever since my parents got divorced... about 9 years ago... but lately it has just been getting worse and worse. I don't even know what is making me unhappy with my life but it is interferring with everything. MY friends are even starting to notice and I can't tell them because I don't know. I thought she would be happier if I left, so I told her I was thinking about moving in with my dad. She says I won't be happier. But I think both of us will. My dad and I have an AMAZING relationship. He is my best friend. I talk to him about anything and everything. My mom says I am making her sick (literally) with how I am constantly depressed and wanting to move. My brother is the "perfect" child to her. Everything I do around the house doesn't matter because he just says he does it. She believes him and not me. I get away from the house as much as I can... mostly I just go to the church and help out with whatever they need help with. Lately my mom has gotten mad because I am never home. (She doesn't go to church anymore, my dad takes me.) She says everything that happens is my fault and she never starts anything. She also says she just doesn't know how we can ever fix what happened between us. I am not even sure she wants to. I just want to know how I can get a real relationship with my mom and solve the problems between us. And anyone that says therapy... please save your time because therapy just doesn't work for me, believe me I have tried.

Has anybody been through this before? I know it isn't a phase because it has lasted for 9 years. Lately it's just gotten worse. PLEASE HELP. AND SORRY IT IS SO LONG.

[mudweiser]

Have you tried having a serious conversation with her? If you have try having a mediator this time, like a school councilor, a pastor, a relative, a family friend, or even a therapist.

Your mother is most likely still hurt from the divorce, even if it was 9 years ago, some people just don't want to let go of the hurt. Yes, I said want. You need to want to move on in order to move on. Whatever she's holding onto is now effecting the relationship between the both of you- you should let her know this and how you feel. When you do tell her this make sure it isn't in a heat of an argument, do this when both of you are in a relaxed setting.

If however, you do want to live with your father, I suggest you ask your father if you can move in first. You also need to know if you are legally allowed to move in with him, based on your parent's custody agreement.

Just to let you know, threatening her [if you are] to move out is really doing you no good- it'll just make her grow angrier for another thing he'll be "taking away".

Nevertheless a good talking never hurt anyone.

Good luck to you and keep us posted.

MRS.S