NC

I wish · Mar 30, 2009, 09:10 AM

I was cleaning up my emails and I stumbled upon my ex's emails.

Whether we're in the no contact phase or not, should be we deleting our ex's emails?

Deleting our ex from instant messaging, phone or removing them from Facebook is one thing, but this is like erasing records of the relationship from the history books. I guess the same goes for hand written letters and birthday cards.

So I was wondering what other people thought. As for me, I have no clue what to think...

talaniman · Mar 30, 2009, 09:26 AM

Delete them all.

kctiger · Mar 30, 2009, 09:30 AM

I can understand wanting to keep cards and such, in a box, away from you, but an email... delete it... it is much easier to stumble across an email than an old card.

none12345 · Mar 30, 2009, 09:39 AM

If you have completely moved on from your ex or don't want them to be in your life anymore or want to move on from your ex, than delete them all, Don't even read them!

Romefalls19 · Mar 30, 2009, 10:10 AM

Nope, I deleted everything from every break up I've had. I've kept some gifts that I like. i.e. autographed Joe Sakic stick, Avalanche signed helmet, stuff of that nature.

But never letters

jmw0713 · Mar 30, 2009, 10:23 AM

I deleted all the ex's emails and such. All of our pictures and cards she gave me are stuffed in a bag and thrown in the back of my closet.

slapshot_oi · Mar 30, 2009, 10:32 AM

If it doesn't bother you, then who cares whether you keep stuff from your ex. Otherwise, out of sight, out of mind.

I wish · Sep 3, 2009, 04:08 PM

I notice that a lot of people, during "no contact" are hoping to reconcile one day. But how can we have an effective "no contact" without deleting old emails. Because reading old emails will just serve as reminders and prolong the pain and suffering.

So let's say we delete the emails, but we actually pull off a reconciliation (however I want to go on record that once we're seriously in NC for recovery, reconciliation in the future shouldn't be an option anymore, if things were to work out, they should have been done before entering NC), but all those emails have been deleted. No big deal?

CanIBuyAClue · Sep 3, 2009, 05:21 PM

Delete them all. After me and my ex had officially broken up I deleted all of her emails (including the one where she randomly says I love you so much! Two days before breaking up with me after a minor argument), all of her posts on my myspace, Facebook, and put all of her stuff in a box where I could not see it.

winding200 · Sep 4, 2009, 12:06 PM

I deleted them all, blocke their emails as spam mail. It really helped me to move on.

Deltagirl · Sep 5, 2009, 09:22 AM

I think email text and pics should all be deleted... I have a problem like that with my boyfriend now he still has all his stuff just sitting around his computer room.. I told his we will be finish if something is not done.

I wish · Sep 10, 2009, 08:12 AM

I was talking to a few friends and they decided to keep all the emails of their exes.

Now that I think about it, when the relationship is over, we should delete them all. The reason we might want to keep the emails is if we still had some hope of reviving the relationship one day.

The only real positive I see in keeping the email is so that we have some sort of written record of the past (good or bad) relationship. Is it necessary to have this written record? I'm not sure, but I think our memory should be enough.

Thoughts?

kctiger · Sep 10, 2009, 08:13 AM

I delete all e-mails from the ex... just not point in me keeping them. I don't need to relive the past when it comes to her.

amicon · Sep 10, 2009, 08:23 AM

I've kept nothing -I found it liberating to do that particular spring cleaning-memories can't be deleted but they fade.

jmw0713 · Sep 10, 2009, 08:36 AM

Memories are good enough, especially when they start to fade. An email is just a reminder of what once was, not how things are now. Emails promote dwelling in the past when really you should look toward the future and what it has in store.

I wish · Sep 10, 2009, 08:46 AM

Another argument that can be made is that we keep the past emails so that we can refer to them so that we can do things better in the future.

kctiger · Sep 10, 2009, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by I wish

Another argument that can be made is that we keep the past emails so that we can refer to them so that we can do things better in the future.

I would think that is an excuse and nothing more. I store all the reminders of stupid stuff I have done in my mind. I surely don't need an electronic record of them. I tend to think we wash our hands of the past while keeping hold of mistakes we made. Just my thoughts...

none12345 · Sep 10, 2009, 09:12 AM

I don't think you need something to refer to, to learn from your mistakes. Its just something you do naturally because you don't want the same outcome.

bella99 · Sep 10, 2009, 01:34 PM

You could always print them out and put them in a box in your basement with the rest of their stuff then delete them. So you only stumble on them if you are really truly hunting them down. I have a few emails/cards from ex boyfriends they are in a box - once in a blue moon I stumble upon them and they are only good memories. If they are bad memories - I'd delete them.

dreamingartist · Sep 10, 2009, 01:42 PM

I have all these valentines cards and movie tickets and stuff from my X in a box. But there was this one photo, the first photo we ever took together.. one of a kind, no duplicate, not online. She gave it to me in a picture frame. It use to sit on my desk.

well I got tired of looking at it, and I threw it in the trash. She took that REALLY hard. Because it was the first photo EVER and I'm like, eh. Trash. I think she will never get over that. I know she resents me for it.

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