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    ashears's Avatar
    ashears Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 25, 2009, 11:19 PM
    Need more sex
    I have two child 2 1/2 and 1yrs old and after I had the second child I did like have sex that much. But now my sex drive has pick back up.and my fiancée don't want to give it to me any more. Do you think he is cheating on my, because is never in the mood anymore?
    ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
    ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,378, Reputation: 608
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    #2

    Mar 26, 2009, 12:11 AM

    I don't necessarily think that he's cheating on you. He might just be stressed from the kids and other priorities, or just too tired from his day. Have you discussed this issue with him?
    mudweiser's Avatar
    mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 707
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    #3

    Mar 26, 2009, 12:41 AM
    I agree with CM.

    You do need to talk to him and ask him why he hasn't been in the mood. When you do ask him make sure it's not right after work, ask him when the kids are napping or down for the night, basically when everything is in a relaxed setting and you both are able to communicate clearly.

    Remember don't make it a blaming game, the conversation will just turn sour. Instead of saying "Why don't you ___________" You should ask "Remember when we used to ____ , how come that doesn't happen anymore?" or "I'm quite concerned about our lack of sex, could you please tell me how you feel about our sex life and what we can do to better it, do you have any suggestions or ideas? what's your take?"

    Be clear, have an open mind and lastly don't jump to conclusions [that would be your downfall].
    MRS.S
    ashears's Avatar
    ashears Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 26, 2009, 07:03 AM

    Thanks guys I really hope talking to him work. Because I really need it more. Or if not I'm going to take a trip to an adult store and get some toy for myself.
    h_leann_b's Avatar
    h_leann_b Posts: 247, Reputation: 35
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    #5

    Mar 26, 2009, 08:33 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ashears View Post
    Thanks guys I really hope talking to him work. Because I really need it more. Or if not im going to take a trip to an adult store and get some toy for my self.
    You should do this anyway :D Toys can also spice up a bland sex life!
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #6

    Mar 26, 2009, 10:21 AM

    My financee and I have 2 kids, 3 and 1, and I got to say - by the time the second one is in bed and asleep I want nothing more than to rest/sleep. Making matters worse, the next day is only a few hours away...

    So if his life is anything like mine, he isn't cheating... he doesn't have time to cheat. He's just friggin tired. :)
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #7

    Mar 26, 2009, 12:40 PM

    You have to make a life for yourself other than the kids... get some goals and fun activities... a therapist will help you. You have to make yourself an interesting person... you can't rely on just sex to hold someone's interest.

    Best wishes, :)
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Mar 26, 2009, 01:02 PM

    Many things, when you were not wanting it, it got into the habit of not having it, while men joke, there is not a automatic off/on buttom for them either.

    Also there is the issue of perhaps he is afraid of having another child, if that is still possible, he could be concerned over that
    ashears's Avatar
    ashears Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Mar 26, 2009, 02:41 PM
    He does work really long hours and he help out a lot around the house with the kids so may be I'm just looking into way too much

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