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StrongBelief · Mar 25, 2009, 04:35 PM

I have been seeing my boyfriend for about 5 years now. I am cute and sexual. We are young and should be having sex more then we are, I think. On a good week we would do it twice maybe. I noticed he watches porn and masturbates EVERYDAY. If I want to have sex that day and he has already masturbated, he only gets half hard and can not ejaculate again. He can not really get off more than once. I ask him to "save" it for me. He doesn't really. It REALLY interferes with our sex life. If we got married and later down the road would we only have sex like once a month? I brought up him being addicted to porn and his response was "every guy does it and i am not going to stop". How can I get his to be able to recoup faster OR get him to just let me cure his sexual cravings?

Xrayman · Mar 25, 2009, 08:13 PM

I brought up him being addicted to porn and his response was "every guy does it and i am not going to stop". How can I get his to be able to recoup faster OR get him to just let me cure his sexual cravings?

Its easy. Tell him to continue to masturbate, "Because every guy does it" to his hearts content, in front of you... when he's just about ready to come, then walk out the door-leave. Your needs are just as important as his-he fails to see this even though you request his "intervention" on a regular basis.. to me he is addicted to porn and needs help or needs to be left alone to "do his thing" by himself, with himself, forever.

He is too arrogant for my liking.

Time to get yourself a life sweetheart.

mudweiser · Mar 26, 2009, 01:51 AM

I agree with X.

This guy rather look at a t.v. than touch a real woman- he has problems.

Have you tried giving him a dose of his own medicine? Let him "catch" looking at picture of men and when he wants to get at it tell him you already got your fix. If he doesn't get the point then he really doesn't care at all.

However trying to get "back at him" to prove a point may be a waste of time, especially if he's as selfish as he sounds.

Good luck to you!

MRS.S

artlady · Mar 26, 2009, 02:11 AM

This is a very common problem. Men who don't want to have sex with their partner.

I have researched this on line and there is a vast amount of information and misinformation.

I am going to refer you to an article that I think is one of the better ones and answers some common questions.

I hope it is useful to you.

Find Out What You Can Do to Fix Your Sex Life - ABC News

Choux · Mar 26, 2009, 12:53 PM

Sex once or twice a week is going to have to be normal for your relationship unless you can negotiate another day of sex with him.

After five years, this is it! The best it is going to be partner-wise.

Talk like an adult with him and learn to negotiate for what you want. He gets to negotiate with you.

On the other hand, get more life experience and get a new lover.

Best wishes, :)

JudyKayTee · Mar 26, 2009, 02:13 PM

If his preference is masturbation for whatever reason (faster, "neater," no performance anxiety, no emotional tie to his hand) you are not going to change that no matter what you do.

rachelcuryy08 · Mar 27, 2009, 03:31 AM

OK please don't get mad but I'm all about telling the truth if you want a answer I will tell you the truth how I feel . First off can we talk about marriage, if a man and a women is having sex be fore marriage that is not GODLY so what can happen. God can get in the middle of it and take the trill away or he can punish you. Do you know that it is wrong to have sex with out being married? Well I must tell you it is a sin be for GOD. He's not please with you having sex be for you marry. How do you know this is the guy GOD has for you? How do you know this is not a sign from GOD? Telling you to walk away and get out , do you know some times GOD has better in stores for us but we refuse his help and he let us bump our head before he help again. Trust me you can find you somebody out there that will love you and marry you then have sex with you that want treat you like a door mat that want to have sex with you only on the days that he want the real deal that's not right. But keep your head up and pray that god send you some body better love you

smoothy · Mar 27, 2009, 05:27 AM

Most guys will pick a real and willing woman to his hand every time. Perhaps he doesn't think as highly of you as you do of him.

h_leann_b · Mar 27, 2009, 07:46 AM

He could very well be addicted to porn. Like any addiction, you have to admit you have a problem and go from there. It sounds like he thinks he doesn't.

I think you need to sit down with him and tell him how it is affecting your relationship. And let him know he is not satifying YOUR needs.

DoulaLC · Mar 27, 2009, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by StrongBelief

I ask him to "save" it for me. He doesn't really. It REALLY interferes with our sex life. If we got married and later down the road would we only have sex like once a month? I brought up him being addicted to porn and his response was "every guy does it and i am not going to stop".

If he won't really discuss it with you, what can you do? You can't make him change. He apparently doesn't see it as a problem, even though you have shared your concerns with him and how it makes you feel. After all, he told you he isn't going to stop. Join in with him, do your best to accept and ignore it, or cut your losses and move on so that you can find someone who you feel would be more compatible with your needs.

If you did get married, and things continued as they are... which would probably be pretty much a guarantee, if not eventually getting worse, would that be what you want from your relationship?

rachelcuryy08 · Mar 27, 2009, 07:26 PM

Well sorry for saying any thing I must have steped on some toes for speaking my mind but I must say that it do say in the bible in my holy bible no sex before marriage.so sorry for steppig on your toes.

JudyKayTee · Mar 28, 2009, 06:25 AM

Originally Posted by rachelcuryy08

well sorry for saying any thing i must have steped on some toes for speaking my mind but i must say that it do say in the bible in my holy bible no sex b4 marriage.so sorry for steppig on your toes.

I'm sorry but you weren't speaking your mind. You were giving religious advice on an adult sexuality board. Please also keep in mind that everyone is Christian so "your" holy Bible may not be everyone's holy Bible.

There is certainly a place for this discussion on the religious boards.

liz28 · Mar 28, 2009, 07:23 AM

Strongbelief I think it's time for you to sit down and think about what you want and what your getting out of this relationship.

Sex isn't everything but it does make up part of a relationship, especially when the two of you are already doing it.

How many things do you expect to discuss this major issue with him if he is just going ignore it and makes no effort to change? He is getting his pleasure whether if it is with you. He isn't even trying to meet you half way and only cares about his needs and porn is what he preferred.

Now you can change him no matter what you said or do. So how much longer are you going deal with this? Was he like this the entire time your was together?