[lilpadfoot16]

Hi, this involves a little bit of a backstory.

I've known this guy for almost three years now, we met when we both came to the same college and shared the same major and interests. I had feelings for him at first, but thought he was dating a mutual friend. It turned out he wasn't, but did have a girlfriend back home. I decided he was off-limits and found a guy to date. Fast-forward a year... we've become good friends and are now living in the same building. My boyfriend broke up with me (his roommate now) and we started spending more time together, with him comforting me. His girlfriend breaks up with him a few weeks later, and we swap roles. Later in the semester, he starts hanging out in my room, along with the mutual friend from the first year. He flirts constantly with me, but always acts like he's joking. He asked me out more than once, also seeming to be joking with me the entire time. At the same time, we're each off and on dating other people. By the end of year two, I have a boyfriend, and he's single, but dating off and on and still good friends with me. During the summer, he transferred really far away and in the fall, my boyfriend broke up with me, so we started talking a little bit more over texting.

It's now the spring and after a few casual dates and some flirting with other guys, I realized that the guy who's been here for me all this time for everything is the one I STILL like and never really stopped liking. He was still flirting with me over the internet and texting, so I started talking to a friend about it and she pushed me to flirt back and then, on Sunday, for me to see what would happen if I casually acted like I liked him. I was shocked when I found out he'd secretly like me and that every time he'd joked around and flirted with me, it WASN'T a joke. We talked about it a little via text, but as he's really far away and hasn't had a good experience with long distance previously, he wantes to wait until we see each other again in May to figure it out.

However, my roommate and I are going to take a trip to where he is over our Easter break, so we don't have to wait as long and he's pretty excited about us coming down. But the problem is, we haven't discussed it any more, or really talked a lot at all. I'm not sure if he's freaking out just as much as I am or what's going on with him? I'd really like him to talk to me more, because if I'm going to invest myself in a relationship like this, I'd like more communication, and not just about the relationship type stuff, but I'm not sure how to ask. I don't know how to get him to open up to me more when we mostly have just the internet and text to talk.

Can anyone help?
Thanks!

[Murraystate]

Hey, I would just come right out and ask if he has thought about it since you last spoke about it. It can't hurt. Communication is key in any relationship! Be honest tell him how you are feeling about things and ask him what his thoughts are. If The Moment is gone, he will tell you and that isn't always a bad thing. Things like this tend to come around again.

My fiancé and I were friends... talked and found out we liked each other, moment kind of past us by with me going to college in a different city and now we are engaged.

[neverme]

I think friend relationships can be great. Every relationship should be based in friendship. As it seems that you have already decided to go with this, just keep in mind that you may lose a friend and a boyfriend should you ever break up.

Not to be the pessimist but it's just good to go into a relationship with your eyes open.


As for more communication I think that is something you cannot force. He will open up in his own good time..

I know that doesn't seem overly helpful but as long as you keep the lines of communication open, it should happen naturally over time. You can bring a horse to water and all that...