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shadow81093 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:14 PM

So, I have a couple friends who go to my church that are considering becoming romantically involved.
He is 15, she is 12.

I know both of them well enough to know that if they do begin dating, neither of them will even consider sex for a long time.

But I'm still concerned, because he is my best friend, and I don't want him to get in trouble.

So, could they get in trouble for dating, even if they don't have or do anything sexual beyond kissing?

liz28 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:22 PM

He wouldn't be kissing my daughter because he wouldn't be allowed to date her.

FYI-dating someone is never illegal but depending on the state laws where your live kissing might can get him into some kind of trouble.

Murraystate · Mar 23, 2009, 05:29 PM

I think at that age you just need to be friends. If he is 15 and your friend tell him she is too young to be kissing and all that nonesense. I know sometimes this stuff can be just fun and testing the water, but just be a kid!! You will have plenty of time to have a girl friend after high school! (or in high school for that matter!) :)

shadow81093 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:31 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

FYI-dating someone is never illegal but depending on the state laws where your live kissing might can get him into some kind of trouble.

South Carolina. I've done a fair bit of research, but I can't really find anything on the topic other than the age of consent law.

nikosmom · Mar 23, 2009, 05:36 PM

As liz said, dating is not cause for trouble but I have to ask how the parents would feel about this. Neither are old enough to 'date' in my book. Plus a 3 year age gap makes a huge difference at this phase- not so much if we were talking a 27 and a 30 yr old. Here, one is middle school and the other is high school.

Even with no sex, it's still not appropriate that they date at this age. I'm sure the parents of the 12 year old girl will share this view.

shadow81093 · Mar 23, 2009, 05:54 PM

Well I'm not sure moral advice is going to stop them.
As far as I'm concerned, let them do as they wish.
I just want to make sure he's not going to get in trouble with the law.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 23, 2009, 06:31 PM

Well first to be honest any good parent is not going to let this happen,
So fi they are allowed, there is an entire parenting issue.

After that the problem is a 12 year old is just not old enough or mature enough to date.

And if they keep dating, it would be 4 years at least before sex could be legal in some places, and up to 6 years in other places.
So the odds of breaking the law is pretty large

ScottGem · Mar 23, 2009, 06:37 PM

12 is a bit young to be dating period. And parents, especially church going ones, are not likely to allow it.

liz28 · Mar 23, 2009, 06:43 PM

To the OP why are you doing the research to find out rather or not they can date?

Also, if you've to do research to see if it's legal for them to date than they shouldn't be dating at all. Don't you think?

theartofm · Mar 24, 2009, 01:34 AM

They can be friends, and maybe hold hands. Light kissing - ah, maybe hellos and goodbyes if that's something they were raised with.

Anything else, the girl is too young. My daughter is in this exact situation (I almost thought it was her). They went on a "date" once, going to a movie together. I didn't say anything. It's something they can do together and experience as friends, and maybe when they're older it'll make them more confident when they are really dating. Now that date was supposed to be with an adult, and it turned out it wasn't, so next time I'll make SURE it is supervised, but guess what? There hasn't been a "next time". They experimented, tried it out, and haven't tried it since.

ScottGem · Mar 24, 2009, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by theartofm

They can be friends, and maybe hold hands. Light kissing - ah, maybe hellos and goodbyes if that's something they were raised with.

At 12, "group dating" may be appropriate. Hanging out at a mall in a group, going to a movie in a group. But its too young for one on one, especially when the boy is 3 years older.

pandabear13 · Apr 4, 2009, 08:22 PM

I'm turning 13 this month and I'm dating a 16 year old... Its not illegeal if the parents agree to them dating... He came to my parents before asking me out... We go to church together and stuff! We kiss and do all that romantical jazz besides sex... so no its not illegeal...

Nestorian · Apr 5, 2009, 05:18 PM

"So, I have a couple friends who go to my church that are considering becoming romantically involved.
He is 15, she is 12."- Pandabear13
All fine and well. We are free to do as we so choose, keeping in mind that you will have to deal with the consequences good or bad and "if" you cross any lines of the law, you may go to jail.

"I know both of them well enough to know that if they do begin dating, neither of them will even consider sex for a long time."-Pandabear13
I will advise mindfulness when speeking in such terms. People can change, and not always for the good, nor expected. That is our gift of free will. Feel free to disagree. ;)

"But I'm still concerned, because he is my best friend, and I don't want him to get in trouble."-Pandabear13
Please define "trouble"?

"So, could they get in trouble for dating, even if they don't have or do anything sexual beyond kissing?"- Pandabear13
I can't say I've ever heard of any one getting in trouble with the law for kissing (and only kissing. Be mindful of the placement of ones other body parts.), but maybe with they parents. They can see things a little more agressively/ protectively.
Also, be mindful that it depends on your cultural background. I'm going to assume you're a North American, or American, eh? Some cultures don't allow such things to take place.

So, it all depends on the relativity to witch you are applying these terms. In other words, what do you mean by "trouble"; where is this situation taking place; what cultrual backgrounds are involved; who are the one's in those backgrounds; and why are you asking us? You seem to have an idea already? I'm just curious, I asure you I mean no offence by it.

"im turning 13 this month and im dating a 16 year old.....Its not illegeal if the parents agree to them dating...He came to my parents before asking me out....We go to church together and stuff!! we kiss and do all that romantical jazz besides sex....so no its not illegeal..."- Pandabear13
This is why I ask, why you asked us, I'm slightly confuddled by it. XD I used confuddled, I can't even remember what that means, but I'm sure it's got something to do with confused. Oh, me and trying to sound all smart, eh. Any way, just thought I'd lighten the mood.

You seem like a smart, and strong person, so don't be afraid of other's opinions. They aren't absolute eh?

Peace and kindness.

P.S. Im not sure if you went back to your other thread, about the "Space" thing,;), I left a little something there you maybe slightly interested in reading. I also have question for you, and advice, but I'm not sure you'd like me to share it here so, yeah. Peace little sista.