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    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 22, 2009, 08:34 PM
    Problems with masturbation
    I am a male in my mid 20's and seem to be suffering from what I was told was a problem. I am always horny, even at the wrong times. Recently my girlfriend and I have parted ways because of our differences. We had sex once or twice a week when we saw each other, but I felt it was insufficient and pleasured myself 2-3 times a day ontop of that. But lately I have been masterbating almost 6-7 times a day. I feel this anxiety in my stomach if I do not. I also have lost a bit of feeling down there and not that it's a bad thing but takes me almost 30-45 min for me to orgasm and ejaculate during sexual intercourse. Maybe a little less time when a woman gives me oral. I can remember when I first started this behavior around 10 or 11 yrs old.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Mar 22, 2009, 08:40 PM

    Was there any kind of trauma, emotional or physical in your past? Just curious. General question.

    Masturbation, it sounds like it is taking over your life. I agree in my opinion there is something wrong.

    Occasional or some masturbation but when you have anxiety over it yes I think you should seek out help. To find out exactly why you feel it is necessary to do this so much.

    Also get blood work, maybe your hormones are off whack. Check it out with your family doctor?
    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 22, 2009, 08:45 PM

    No traumas I can think of. I wouldn't say its taking over my life, but I feel much more relaxed and less stressed after I do it. What do I say to the doctor? Can you take blood to check my hormone levels or tell him this story? I went to school with his daughters...
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #4

    Mar 22, 2009, 08:55 PM

    I also have lost a bit of feeling down there and not that it's a bad thing but takes me almost 30-45 min for me to orgasm and ejaculate during sexual intercourse
    People who are chronic masturbators can have issues with sexual relations because you have trained the mind/body link to orgasm only one way.
    As an example,some young men who have always gotten off in the shower can't experience sexual release unless they are in a shower.You need to retrain the brain.
    Masturbation is only a problem when it interferes with your day to day life.
    As with any habit,you need to try to wean yourself.
    Masturbation has become for you what a martini or a joint is for someone else.
    There is a lot of on line info about this.
    At this point your body is probably so used to having multiple releases a day,it is difficult to break the pattern without feeling some pressure physically.

    You see this as being horny but I suspect you are just into a routine and habit that has become something of an addiction.

    Below is a link I think you may find helpful.

    Masturbation Addiction
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #5

    Mar 22, 2009, 08:59 PM

    Wow, well there is supposed to be doctor and patient confidentiality.

    Was there anything with his daughters??

    When was the last time you had a complete physical? Ask for you to get your hormones checked.

    I am just trying to give you some ideas, but I would also seek out some counsel as well.

    You need to find other ways of relieving your stress as well. There are many things that you can get into that is healthy and safe to help you relieve your stress in a more constructive way.

    At the same time everybody has different sex drives. You said you feel different down there. Please talk to your doctor about that as well.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:01 PM

    Had to spread the rep Joe and Artsy but I agree.

    It sounds like masturbation has become an addiction. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with masterbating, but 6-7 times a day, that's excessive.

    You've trained yourself to find pleasure one way only. You do need help controlling this.

    See your doctor, tell him everything, it's confidential.

    Good luck.
    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:08 PM

    Ya I feel different as in, when I wear a condom I don't feel anything. Most of the time it comes off 5 minutes in. I am not a promiscious guy and have not been with more partners than my fingers. I have used condoms on the 2-3 one nighters, but most of the other women have been longer termed relationships. They were also disease free and used birth control. But I did not have anything special with his daughters, just acquaintances at school. I can't remember the last time I had a physical since I haven't had insurance for a few years now.
    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:09 PM
    And I feel like I have to concentrate very hard in order to orgasm
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #9

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:11 PM

    Talk with your doctor and talk to a counsel, even though you do not have insurance there are programs in place to get the care you need. You just have to look into it.

    Joe
    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:14 PM
    But I also feel like I was addicted to sex, as it bothered my ex girlfriend that I wanted it more time than she did sometimes. Like I would ask for it 2-3 times a day sometimes. We used to do it 2-3 times when we first got together, but with time it simmered down. And now that she is gone I have doubled my actions. 2-3 times in the morning 2-3 during the afternoon and 2-3 times at night before I sleep. There were a few times where I woke up having sex with one of my ex's and another time I recall fondeling another ex during my sleep.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:17 PM

    You really need to get checked, insurance or no insurance.

    This is an addiction, like alcoholism. You can't deal with this on your own.

    First step is your doctor, a complete physical, then go from there.
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #12

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:17 PM

    Why the hell you think I told you to seek out a counselor for. You need help. Stop talking about your problem and see your doctor and he can even refer you, or just find a counselor on your own or through government programs. Please.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #13

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:17 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by HASAPROBLEM View Post
    And i feel like i have to concentrate very hard in order to orgasm
    That is because your body/mind connection has been trained toward you doing the work and doing it perfectly.You are the master in masturbation so clearly you know what feels best.
    In essence,you are spoiled by masturbation.
    I hope I am making sense here.It is rather complicated ,our sexual mentality.
    HASAPROBLEM's Avatar
    HASAPROBLEM Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76 View Post
    You need help. Stop talking about your problem and see your doctor .
    Easy tiger, I thought that's what this site is for? To ask and talk about a problem? Its 11:20pm and I'm sure my doctor is sound asleep. That's why I came on here to seek options.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #15

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:23 PM

    You won't get help just sitting here talking about it, you need to see your doctor.

    Joe was helpful, and the help he offered is really all we can do for you.

    So, your options are to go to the doctor, done, end, finished.

    Good luck, let us know how it goes.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #16

    Mar 22, 2009, 09:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg View Post
    You won't get help just sitting here talking about it, you need to see your doctor.

    Joe was helpful, and the help he offered is really all we can do for you.

    So, your options are to go to the doctor, done, end, finished.

    Good luck, let us know how it goes.
    Had to spread the rep Alty but that is the bottom line.
    Its great to talk but that does not solve all the problems.
    We are not doctors and some things are just too complicated to deal with in this forum.
    godofthunder75's Avatar
    godofthunder75 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #17

    Mar 23, 2009, 12:28 AM

    I have been married for 14 years, with my wife for 17 and have the most wonderful relationship of anyone I have ever met. We are best friends, lovers, partners in every sense of the word and we have sex 5-6 times a week. I also masturbate about 2-3 times a day, every day. I have never had relationship problems, nor have I ever had any trauma. I hold a white collar position with a large company and make a very, very healthy living. I don't see it as a problem, nor does my wife. My sex drive is just very high and I need that release. I would never cheat on my wife, nor am I interested in anyone else. We have a 'sexy' photo album of photos I have taken of my wife which I use to pleasure myself 90% of the time. Don't let anyone tell you this is bad, or shameful or anything else. It's your body and ONLY you know a large it needs. As long as you are respectful, honest and not doing anything to hurt anyone else you are fine.
    godofthunder75's Avatar
    godofthunder75 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Mar 23, 2009, 12:29 AM

    Should have been "ONLY you KNOW what it needs." Sorry for the typo! LOL
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    godofthunder75 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Mar 23, 2009, 12:31 AM
    By the way, the longer time it is taking you to ejaculate, and the loss of feeling you would want to see a Dr. about... just for the physical ramifications. I would guess it takes you longer though because you might be bored with the real thing, depending on how intense your masturbation fantasies might be... find a happt medium. Also if it takes you 45 minutes to release during sex, I'm sure your girlfriend isn't complaining!
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #20

    Mar 23, 2009, 12:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by godofthunder75 View Post
    By the way, the longer time it is taking you to ejaculate, and the loss of feeling you would want to see a Dr. about...just for the physical ramifications. I would guess it takes you longer though because you might be bored with the real thing, depending on how intense your masturbation fantasies might be....find a happt medium. Also if it takes you 45 minutes to release during sex, I'm sure your gf isn't complaining!
    Ya want to bet she isn't complaining?
    Who wants a work out every night?
    Give me a break ,when your on the other end of a *is he ever going to come* thought process,come talk to me.

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