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beckysue1973 · Mar 20, 2009, 11:52 PM

Hi All,
Any help at all with this subject would be greatly appreciated. All I have is the city, surname, and that his family possible owned a drug store that doesn't exist anymore. My grandmother would never give my dad a straight answer about who his father really was. Possibly gave him a false name of a man that she was married to that was not his father, because it is a known fact that they did not know each other until after my dad was born. My great uncle recalls his dad confronting the man that was possibly my grandfather but nothing was ever confirmed. That is where I got what information that I have. But now my dad and great uncle are both deceased. Confronting my grandmother is out of the question. Please help!

Anka Software · Mar 21, 2009, 07:27 AM

If you have the $$$ employ a detective, to dig in muncipal / phone records etc.

Synnen · Mar 21, 2009, 12:18 PM

If you don't have a name, you're going to have a VERY hard time with this---ESPECIALLY since you aren't the adoptive parent, birthparent or adoptee.

May I ask WHY asking your grandmother is out of the question? And what your interest is? Is there a medical need to know?

beckysue1973 · Mar 21, 2009, 09:59 PM

Because my dad died without ever knowing who his real father really was, and I know that it was always something that really bothered him. My dad never got a chance to try and contact his real father and see if they could establish a relationship. He tried to get his mother to tell him but I think that she was ashamed and it was suppose to be a big secret or something. The only reason that he finally got a name from her was because when my parents were getting married he needed a name for the paperwork. My grandmother is 78 years old now with all kinds of heart problems and I don't want to upset her by bring this up after all these years. My great uncle told us a couple of months after my dad passed away that he remembered my grandmothers father confronting a man about getting my grandmother pregnant. He gave us the last name and the name of a business that his family owned. It bothers me that all this came out after my dad passed away, and I would like to know the truth. I don't want to confront anyone, or ruin anybodys family. I just feel like there is a big hole in my families history. Hope that answers your questions.

Synnen · Mar 21, 2009, 10:04 PM

Because you don't have a name, your options are VERY limited, and it will probably get expensive.

Your best bet is to hire a private detective.

It's VERY unusual that your grandmother did not choose adoption for your father. That far back, there was a HUGE stigma about being a single mother.

AlpineAnnie · Mar 23, 2009, 04:54 AM

If the last name isn't extremely common, you can Google the name of the drug store with that city, state and the last name and see if any newspaper articles come up, etc. For instance, let's say that your grandfather's last name is elliott and he was from Topeka, Kansas... you can Google Elliott Drug Store Topeka Kansas.

Read everything that comes up. That long ago it can be difficult but not impossible. Frequently there were stories published in town newspapers that involved local families/business owners. You can then call everyone with that last name in that town. Without a first name - it's going to be really hard. There is no reason to assume that anyone in your grandfather's family will even know that he had a child so they may not be able to help either.