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Dana liy · Mar 11, 2009, 10:28 AM

My fiance's crazy baby momma is trying to take all of his visitation away because she is jealous about us and our relationship. Now, many years back, I had a criminal charge from working at a bank. I was never convicted, but I did have to do a year or so on probation. I had withheld ajudication and had it exsponged from my record. Since then I have been an upstanding citizen, and had no problems. Unfortunately, she found out about it, and is now trying to use that against my fiancé in court so that he won't get standard visitation. Will this effect him getting his visitation in anyway?

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 10:41 AM

Did your arrest have anything to do with abuse of a child? If no, then no.

Its likely a bit more complicated than that, but that is how it boils down. Very little that YOU do will affect a court case that you are not involved in. Your past might not even be allowed to be mentioned.

Let her be crazy - your fiancée needs to not engage her outside of the court and let the law work.

Dana liy · Mar 11, 2009, 10:45 AM

No, I was pretty much a victim of circumstance. I worked at a bank, and when working at a bank you are responsible for a lot of money. And since I was bank teller, I was also responsible for OTHERS monies. Bottom line was money was not calculated right, and I had to take responsibility for it. Other then that, nothing else on my record. This crazy woman has done EVERYTHING under the sun to try and break me and my fiancé up, and has used the child every step of the way. So now she is trying to take all of his visitation away or at least minimum visitation with hundreds of restrictions and she is trying to use my record to make a case about it.

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 10:48 AM

I was being very tongue in cheek about the bank incident, trying to make the point that it has no affect on his case.

Is he a good father? Does he use his visitation? Does he ever miss visits? If the answer is yes, yes, no then she might not even be able to see a judge about it. Courts look harshly on parents who waste their time pursuing matters simply out of spite... and from what you say, that is the case here.

Dana liy · Mar 11, 2009, 11:06 AM

Yes, he is an excellent father. He gets visitation EVERY chance he can. She is the one that is always trying to cancel his visitation. We BOTH do everything we can for her. This woman got mad and pissy because I bought the child a bike! She doesn't want me anywhere NEAR her.

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 11:39 AM

If she 'cancels' his visitation, he needs to let the court know EVERY time she does. Court ordered visitation is not optional, she can be found in contempt of a court order and actually lose custody.

cdad · Mar 11, 2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by Dana liy

My fiance's crazy baby momma is trying to take all of his visitation away because she is jealous about us and our relationship. Now, many years back, i had a criminal charge from working at a bank. I was never convicted, but i did have to do a year or so on probation. I had withheld ajudication and had it exsponged from my record. Since then i have been an upstanding citizen, and had no problems. Unfortunately, she found out about it, and is now trying to use that against my fiance in court so that he won't get standard visitation. Will this effect him getting his visitation in anyway?

As far as the bank incedent if it has been removed from your court record then it can't be used against you because its as if it never happened. That's what exsponged means the records are thrown away and its forgiven. So there is no legal standing. Are they in court proceedings for custody now ? If not then they should be.

Dana liy · Mar 11, 2009, 02:01 PM

Yes they are in the process of going to court for custody. I just can't understand how the bank incident from many years ago has anything to do with his daughter and her welfare in our home. At the end of the day, its his daughter, and his joint custody. I don't think his visitation should have any thing to do with me or anyone else on the outside. Which is why I don't see how this incident from years ago should have anything to do with the custody situation at hand.

stevetcg · Mar 11, 2009, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Dana liy

Yes they are in the process of going to court for custody. I just can't understand how the bank incident from many years ago has anything to do with his daughter and her welfare in our home. At the end of the day, its his daughter, and his joint custody. I don't think his visitation should have any thing to do with me or anyone else on the outside. Which is why i don't see how this incident from years ago should have anything to do with the custody situation at hand.

Bottom line: it doesn't. Family law situations are very emotional and people spew all sorts of crap that isn't true or real. Ignore her threats of this and sleep sound knowing she is talking out her butt.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 11, 2009, 04:40 PM

I am going to be a little harder, sorry there has to be a conviction ( a plea agreement is still a conviction) since unless you are convicted you can not be on probation. If it is a suspended sentence then it will be droped off your record but even then, the fact it happened is a matter of public record and can be used in civil court even if explunged from criminal record.

As for that, yes she can bring it up in a court hearing but it should have little to do with the case unless there is a lot more in it.

The issue is, a crazy ex can just cause trouble and may for years.
If she refuses a scheduled visit, note it, get a witness if possible and then file in court for contempt.

Dana liy · Mar 11, 2009, 07:23 PM

Well to be a little more clear to you, my agreement with the courts was just that... an agreement. I agreed to withholding of adjudication. And the legal law library states this... "Adjudication is an agreement between the defendant and the courts to clear the charge from the docket. For this to occur, the defendant has agreed to complete some sort of arrangement, such as a fine, community service, etc. If the defendant fails to hold up their end of the agreement, then he or she will be convicted of the charge and sentenced accordingly. That conviction will come up in our reports"(www.lawyers.com).......so in other words, if I had not completed my probation (which was unsupervised) or violated it, then I would have been convicted of the charge. Even on my probation paperwork it states that guilt was not found and conviction was not decided...

There isn't much more to the story, which why I got the light "arrangement" that I did. But to know that it shouldn't effect what the judge is going to decide is a great relief. In the end I just want him to get the visitation that he deserves.