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mudweiser · Mar 10, 2009, 01:31 PM

I have really low self-esteem. It's been with me since childhood/teenlife. However, it's seems as though it's gotten worse and worse. Every minute I remember all the things that I feel is wrong with me.

It's mostly my physcial self that I really hate. It's actually affected my marriage in the sexual sense. I no longer want to have sex because I feel so fat and disgusting. I'm 5'1 and at a whopping 130 lbs. I have tried the diets and the wierdo exercise programs from t.v. And yes, I have made the decision to eat right and start excercising.

Well it's gotten to the point where I don't want to even look at myself in the mirror.

It's not all that bad, I get my moments where I feel great but 70% of the time I feel like pooh.

My question is [asides from workouts, eating right, etc.] what can I do to feel better about myself? I'm tired of hating who I am!

MRS.S

mommyoftwins200 · Mar 10, 2009, 01:41 PM

I am totally with you on this subject. I am only 22 and am a single mom of twins, I had them in January of 09, I gained a lot of weight with them and cannot get rid of some of the weight. I am at like 180 and hate it, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and hate to even wear a bathing suit. I have disgusting stretch marks and cellulite, this has made myself esteem so low and don't know what to do anymore.

mudweiser · Mar 10, 2009, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by mommyoftwins200

I am totally with you on this subject. I am only 22 and am a single mom of twins, I had them in January of 09, I gained a lot of weight with them and cannot get rid of some of the weight. I am at like 180 and hate it, I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and hate to even wear a bathing suit. I have disgusting stretch marks and cellulite, this has made my self esteem so low and dont know what to do anymore.

Honestly the only advice I can give you is to exercise and eat right. Fasting or starving yourself and doing these crazy diets work for a bit but then you just end up fat or even fatter! Maybe we can PM each other and talk some more.

MRS.S =)

Clough · Mar 10, 2009, 11:52 PM

Hi, mudweiser and mommyoftwins200!

I do have an activity that either or both of you might want to consider trying with me on this site that might help you with your self-esteem.

If a person can feel good about themselves in accomplishing something that's enjoyable, the results of the feeling of accomplishment and thus building of self-esteem and self-worth can often carry over into how they work on other issues that they might be having in their life.

Please let me know if either of you are interested. Also, please do keep information on the threads so that others with similar questions can benefit by the information that's shared.

Thanks!

starlite1 · Mar 11, 2009, 05:54 AM

Hi Everyone,

I am in the same boat as you. I am am approching 40, and I've never had any positive slelf esteem or self worth. With the help of therapy, medication, this site and my boyfriend's support I am trying to look at myself in a more positive way. I feel fat and ugly and I too am trying to lose weight. It is so hard to do and I don't want to put my boyfriend through this hell anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to feel more beautiful?
Please help.

JoeCanada76 · Mar 11, 2009, 05:57 AM

I think you should join a gym, or sign up for martial arts classes or anything that you can do your own thing and a group of people that will help you develop the confidence you need to face life. It will change your outlook on life and will slowly help you grow for the better.

What about acting classes?? Get into something you really think you will enjoy...

mudweiser · Mar 11, 2009, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by Clough

Please let me know if either of you are interested. Also, please do keep information on the threads so that others with similar questions can benefit by the information that's shared.

Thanks!

I am interested! I am really tired of being like this. I only asked her to PM me because sometimes you feel more comfy PMing someone instead of posting it for everyone to see.

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

I think you should join a gym, or sign up for martial arts classes or anything that you can do your own thing and a group of people that will help you develop the confidence you need to face life. It will change your outlook on life and will slowly help you grow for the better.

What about acting classes??? Get into something you really think you will enjoy...

It's not socializing that's my problem, I'm very happy when it comes to that. It's my physical self that I have a big issue with. Plus with the economy going down and my budget getting tighter I don't have money to fork out for classes. Thanks for the suggestion I hope I didn't sound like a big "B" word

MRS S.

Clough · Mar 12, 2009, 12:49 AM

Originally Posted by mudweiser

I am interested! I am really tired of being like this. I only asked her to PM me because sometimes you feel more comfy PMing someone instead of posting it for everyone to see.

MRS S.

I hope that we're on here at the same time sometime so that we can discuss at the same time what I have to offer. I'm usually on here late at night for me, like 10:30 P.M. or later. I have no idea where you're located but where I'm located is under my avatar. If you let me know your time zone, then perhaps we can coordinate being on at the same time.

Thanks!

JoeCanada76 · Mar 12, 2009, 04:21 AM

I never said anything about socializing. Yes, okay maybe part of it but martial arts or doing things with your mind and body will help the whole situation. Your mind and the way you think will effect your whole being that is your physical as well.

So guess what if your unwilling to get involved in things that might help both, because both are needing work on then you will never get out of this rut.

artlady · Mar 12, 2009, 04:40 AM

I like what Dr.Phil has to say about weight.There is the so called *ideal weight* that is put on charts and there is what Dr.Phil calls the *get real* weight.
Many people do not like this guy but his weight loss solution has proved very effective.I am including a link I think you will find very helpful.
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Weight

mudweiser · Mar 12, 2009, 10:14 AM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

So guess what if your unwilling to get involved in things that might help both, because both are needing work on then you will never get out of this rut.

What I understood when you gave your opinon was a "go-out-make-friends" tip. So sorry if I misunderstood you. I do agree however that I need to do things to help my "mental-self", however, I am not unwilling to get involved in things that would help me.

mudweiser · Mar 12, 2009, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by artlady

I like what Dr.Phil has to say about weight.There is the so called *ideal weight* that is put on charts and there is what Dr.Phil calls the *get real* weight.
Many people do not like this guy but his weight loss solution has proved very effective.I am including a link I think you will find very helpful.
Dr. Phil.com - Advice - Weight

I, for one, understand that not everyone can fit into a size 1 or 00 - it's unrealistic and unhealthy.

When it comes to me feeling like crap, I mean my physical self. I don't compare my body or try to look like some super model. I just feel so fat, my hair is just not how I like it, just little things here and there that people usually pick on [i.e. breast size, their nose, etc.]. So it's not that I want to be Jessica Alba or whomever is "hot" these days.. I want to be me and finally feel good about me!

MRS.S

starlite1 · Mar 12, 2009, 10:40 AM

Hi Mudweiser,

I feel the same way about myself, believe me. Just once, I would love to look in the mirror and see physical attributes that I like

Clough · Mar 13, 2009, 10:22 PM

Hi again, mudweiser!

I did receive your private message. What I like to do with people here in order to help them to feel better about themselves, is to help them to write songs.

Are you interested in doing something like that?

Concerning your asking about the reddie thing and people getting so angry over reddies, the rating system is something that a lot of us wish didn't exist, and the use of it is something that's frequently abused and misused. People can be very temperamental and irrational when using it.

Thanks!

mudweiser · Mar 25, 2009, 12:18 AM

Sorry I haven't been on for a while, life has been busy!

Well Clough, I really appreciate your help- thanks! However, writing music isn't really "my thing". May sound close minded but not to leave you empty handed maybe poetry would be better? I really can't sing- I sound like a dying cow.

Since I've been busy, taking care of myself more, I've actually been feeling a little better.

So I guess they key to feeling great is "get off your butt!"

MRS.S

Clough · Mar 25, 2009, 01:01 AM

Hi again, mudweiser!

Writing a song isn't hard! Also, you writing the lyrics to the song by your writing poetry would be something that would be great!

You also don't have to know how to sing. I would write the music, and could also show you how you could play it!

Expressing yourself in that sort of way could help you to improve your self-esteem!

I'm doing that very same thing with someone on the following thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/writin...ve-330210.html

Yes, a person just getting off their butt and getting busy with things can do wonders! :)

Thanks!

mudweiser · Apr 19, 2009, 10:32 AM

I got an update: I lost [drum roll please... ] 9lbs since I started eating better [not skipping meals, cutting down the salt and sugar], I've also been walking to and from work and do some light cardio everyday. I realize I'm not going to be a size 00 -which is not what I want anyway. But I'm happy that I can fit back into my size 5 pants again ;)

Feeling healthier, being on AMHD helping people and talking things out has really helped my self-esteem. Although I'm still not the most confident girl in the room, I'm at least out of my corner and exploring. It's a little scary to let things out but I feel just a little bit better- so thanks AMHD and everyone else ;)

So for anyone else reading this: just get off your butt and you'll see results.

Sarah! =)

Fuzzball_Kara · Apr 19, 2009, 11:00 AM

130 for your height isn't bad at all, especially if you're medium frame. I have self esteem problems too. Sometimes I get it from seeing the models on TV, and from trying on fashionable clothes that won't fit. It's frustrating, especially when you love to eat. I bet you don't look bad at all. A little exercise and cut back from soda goes a long way. Eat the right foods and not only will you loose weight, but you'll get a lot more energy back.
Peace

JudyKayTee · Apr 19, 2009, 11:19 AM

I know you are concerned about your OUTSIDE appearance but from reading your posts, going back and forth, your INSIDE is fantastic. Maybe you just need to realize that and then do whatever makes you happy.

As far as weight - I don't go by the standards. I go by when I feel good - if I feel I look good, then I figure I look good and I'm happy.

mudweiser · Apr 19, 2009, 11:21 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I know you are concerned about your OUTSIDE appearance but from reading your posts, going back and forth, your INSIDE is fantastic. Maybe you just need to realize that and then do whatever makes you happy

I may be having a stupid moment right now but.. I don't get it- how am I going back and forth?

Sarah