[Luv_My_Reece]

I work at a daycare and my class is k-5th grade. I have one child in my class that is absolutely out of control. We have tried everything. She hits, she steals, she won't ever be quiet during lessons or quiet time and she purposely tries to aggrevate the other kids. Now she thinks it's funny to blurt out curse words in the middle of class. I'm at the end of my rope with her. We've talked to her mother but she thinks the child is a saint. We've tried having her write sentences, sit out st recess/centers/field trips, sending her to the office (daily) nothing works. Now she wets her pants and won't tell anyone she has to go or after the fact and laughs about it. I just don't know what to do with her and she's starting to rub off on the other kids. Does anyone have any suggestions? She is 6.:confused:

[J_9]

So, I assume that this is not the foster children?

If it is this bad then you need to discuss it with the administrator of your school and have her removed.

[Luv_My_Reece]

The director of our daycare has known the child her whole life and is close with the mother. No this is not my brother's foster child.

Sometimes it gets to the point where I absolutely can not stand to be around the kid anymore. She screams and hits us and I'm not even with her all day (I'm only the assistant after my school) She just gets me to the point that I want to walk out of the room and scream or cry or something and the other teacher feels the same way. I've asked to be put in a different age group in the fall because of her.

[LUNAGODDESS]

Next time make going to the potty an adventure... Cheerios cereal for boys... go sink the battle ships... for girls do a happy dance... when she successfully goes to the potty... make her experience personal... focus on her... positive direction... give her some responsibility... she is bossy... she thinks she brings the boys to the park... let her think so... be creative get in control... just how smart is this child at this age... tell her other children will follow her direction... if she missed to behave... hold the class responsible... nothing like a rebellion... to correct this problem... she will not be so popular... it takes a village to raise a child...

[aser]

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[Magalli]

Hello,
Well I work at a Day-Care myself, and we see this things every Day, do you have a naughty chair? Or naughty corner? if not you may want to do this for her! Or give her a reward if she goes to the potty(stamps, gummy bears, any candy! ), and make a board and put all the kids names and at the end of the day when they are starting to leave, give them a treat for good behavior and market in the board and at the end of the week give them a toy or something nice, you know stuff that kids like!! it works but it takes patience to do this things, make her mind that if she does not do this things, you are going to take away some privileges, (like going outside, play centers, etc) in stead let her watch and put her in a Corner or the Chair, it's not easy when we first start, but make her mind that you are the one in control, not her!!

[skiberger]

I never venture out of "home improvement" section but happen to be browsing around the forums.

So that said, the problem is with the parents. The child is not getting the attention at home. Her mom saying she is a saint, the mom is dismissing the problem. Basically she probably doesn't care.

So the little girl comes to day care and acts up. Even though its all bad behavior she is getting the attention she isn't getting at home. Problem is its negative attention but at least its attention.

[bekkiod]

I'm an Educational Psychologist and a mother.

It sounds like a ot of attention seeking behaviour, which means that she needs attention. I understand that this is labour and effort intensive and she is not a child with whom you wish to spend much time.

Staff allowing, give her some time alone or in a small group with a member of staff and give her some kind of status within the class. This may be in terms of looking after/ showing younger children how to behave!

Google the Nurture Group Network website, a Britich site, for tips the kind of approach that may well work with her.

Attention and nurturing should be coupled with firm and consistent boundaries. Don't flit between approaches. Pick one and stick at it. She will test boundaries, but she needs to do this to see that you will always follow through.

Her mother probably knows the problems, but it may be too hard for her to admit it. Treat her as an expert and ask her for advice. Look at it as a problem to be solved together, rather than a\ child that you wish to change.

Bernadette

[Sarah123]

It's souns a lot like this child is a really troubled child. She has obviously been branded a "bad girl" at school, therefore, why should she behave any differently?

I'm definitely with Bekkiod with giving her some responsibility and having boundaries. It doesn't always have to be the good kid that gets to take a note to the classroom next door or gets to clean the paint pots. If you make sure that she realises that the job is hers and that it's HER responsibility to do it, and that you TRUST her to do it, 9 out of 10 times she will be an angle while doing it. Giving her boundaries will definitely give her a better sense of security as maybe that is what she is lacking when she's away from her mother.

Also, have you done any observation on her? Maybe something is bothering her that you don't notice? Because you only seem to notice the bad things as that's what causes disruption. Seeing her when she thinks nobody is watching can be very very helpful.

It sounds like you are just punishing her constantly, every child, good or bad, needs some positive attention sometimes. How about just concentrating on the good things she does, however seldom that is! Even just saying, "Ooooh, that's a lovely dress you have on there!" can make or break a child's day!

Hmm, hope some of this helps. Good luck!

Sarah