[Elizabeth Dand]

My daughter is getting married and my husband and I are divorced but on friendly terms. He remarried last year; I am on my own. The wedding is being held in the village he now lives in and at the church he was married at- all rather difficult for me, but it is my daughter's choice and obviously that's fine. I had presumed that his new wife would not be part of the bridal party, but apparently I am wrong, and I need to know the etiquette. Where do we all sit in church?
Does she sit with my ex on the top table?
Does she stand in the reception line?

[tickle]

No, she definitely does not stand in the reception line. Her presence there would be a mystery to anyone not knowing the pecking order, so to speak.

She sits in the church with your ex husband, but she does not sit at the top table. She should have the good sense to know this and not make an issue out of it. It just isn't done.

However, if your ex does not want to sit at the head table, he can still make his toasts from another table in the general area, sitting with his new wife.

In all of this she has to play a low key and not be obvious.

Sorry it has to be that way.

ms. tick

[starbuck8]

No, she definitely does not stand in the reception line. Her presence there would be a mystery to anyone not knowing the pecking order, so to speak.

She sits in the church with your ex husband, but she does not sit at the top table. She should have the good sense to know this and not make an issue out of it. it just isnt done.

However, if your ex does not want to sit at the head table, he can still make his toasts from another table in the general area, sitting with his new wife.

In all of this she has to play a low key and not be obvious.

Sorry it has to be that way.

ms. tick

I know this is a tough one, and I understand the difficulty and uneasiness of it all, but I have got to somewhat disagree my sweet Tickle girl, although I hate to. ;)

I think this could cause more problems if she isn't in the receiving line and at the head table. I would absolutely agree if the new wife was not part of the bridal party, but she is. It would be very noticeable to guests and all involved, if she wasn't part of the other things after the ceremony. This would also likely cause a lot of anomosity between family members and make some guests feel very uneasy about things.

I know how uncomfortable it will be, but I think the best thing to do for all involved, is to bite your lip and grit your teeth through the reception. It's your daughters day, and weddings are stressful enough, without having to worry about family members and their place in the pecking order. Obviously your daughter likes your ex's new wife, or she wouldn't have asked her to be in the bridal party. So unfortunately, I think you have to grin and bear it.

However, since you are the mother of the bride, I believe you and your ex husband should be standing together in the receiving line, and sitting together at the head table. The new wife can bite her lip there. You are her parents, and she is just a bridal party member, and should be seated accordingly. You've said that you and your ex get along fine, so I think this would be the best way to go, and I'm sure it would make your daughter happy to see her parents side by side, and being friendly with each other for her sake.

Good luck, it's a sticky situation.