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    davidmcintosh03's Avatar
    davidmcintosh03 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:17 PM
    Needing help // advice.
    So.. Im 18 now, male.. and wanting to have a more serios meaningful relationship. Problem? I've been single for a couple years now and seem to be deemed permanently single :|

    I'm just having no luck at all. I'm one of the few who's not just in it for a one night thing, and actually like getting to know them by personality, trouble is, anyone I meet that I like, I end up becoming to good friends and they don't see me as someone theyd date anymore.

    Or maby I'm just not attractive enough?
    Either way.. I'm needing some advice or something cuase I'm getting nowhere :(
    judysteddybears's Avatar
    judysteddybears Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:24 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by davidmcintosh03
    So.. Im 18 now, male.. and wanting to have a more serios meaningful relationship. problem? iv been single for a couple years now and seem to be deemed permanently single :|

    im just having no luck at all. im one of the few whos not just in it for a one night thing, and actualy like getting to know them by personality, trouble is, anyone i meet that i like, i end up becoming to good friends and they dont see me as someone theyd date anymore.

    or maby im just not attractive enough?
    either way.. im needing some advice or something cuase im getting nowhere :(
    Don't cut yourself down David.. Eveyone has something to offer another human being.. just be yourself.. girls nowadays seem to only want the nasty guys.. your the one they'll want when they're all used up... question is will you want them at that point... there is that special someone out there for you.wait for her.. she'll be worth it... just keeping smiling..
    davidmcintosh03's Avatar
    davidmcintosh03 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:27 PM
    Thanks, it js seems a lost cuase just now. Like they don't want the good guys anymore. :( o wells. I hope your right
    to1964's Avatar
    to1964 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:27 PM
    I'm the same way. I don't like hooking for one night.. its such a desperate attempt to get ***. I want a meaningful relationship, but no one is interested. I wish I had advice but all I can do is feel empathy. I think its just everyone our age is just looking to be with as many people as possible. I guess we are just looking for more maturity in our peers that just isn't there yet.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:50 PM
    David,

    It may be your attitude. You seem to think that you are permenently single. Not the case but this attitude might be portrayed to others who meet you.

    Befriending them is definitely a problem. Not a big one though as friendship is the foundation for any successful relationship.
    Just don't become too friendly, too clingy. You need to keep some mystery about you. Keep them guessing.
    Most of all be yourself but don't surrender to your partner.
    Early on be funny, keep it light. It is all about fun. But don't be too available. As I said keep a little mystery about yourself.

    Wildcat recommends to lok at this site and I agree. You can get some great tips.

    www.askmen.com

    Read the articles by Doc Love and others on relaitonships. There are heaps there and you should be able to get some tips about how to keep them interested.

    But don't beat yourself up. You are probably doing lots of things right but you may just rush things a little and scare them away.

    We see this happen often. You should take relationships very slow. Take a while to get to know the person. There is no rush. You don't need to know every detail about someone on the first date and vice versa.

    And don't go looking for a relationship either. Just be yourself and go about your life in a positive way. Love yourself and then when you least expect it someone will come along and love you back.

    So don't worry. You'll be fine!

    But at 18 you shouldn't really be ready to settle down permanently. At least you shouldn't be looking for it.
    Enjoy your youth. Date many people. Get to know what's out there. Because right now you probably want something completely different to what you want in 5 years time.
    You are young and have so much time ahead of you to worry about relaitonships.
    Right now say hang with your mates, go out and experience what being an 18 year old is all about.
    That's what all the 18 year old girls will be doing.

    They don't want a guy who is looking to settle down now.

    They want a fun and easy going guy who they can have a good time with and makes them laugh.

    Not some drone who wants to settle down!

    Be a fun guy, love yourself, improve yourself and others will love you too!

    Oh and sorry, just one more thing.
    I had a girl from the age of 16 until about 4 months ago (im now 24 so that was 7 years together) and she dropped me because she never got a wildgirl stage in her life because she was always with me.

    Girls your age right now don't want that and if they do chances are down the track they may thinnk they have missed out on something.

    At least mine did.

    So as I said, be young and free for while. You'll find that will be the biggest turn on to most girls!
    jimfun71's Avatar
    jimfun71 Posts: 22, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Aug 21, 2006, 07:58 PM
    David,
    I typed a huge reply and when I went to post I got an error and it was lost. Suffice it to say that you don't need to worry. There's no race to find Mrs. Right. Just go out into the world and meet people. Some will become friends; some will become enemies and some will become lovers. Live life and find out who you are. Only then will you be ready for the commitment required by a serious relationship. Besides who says that a one night stand has to be just for one night. A lifetime is lived day by day. Go live yours,
    Jimfun71
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member
     
    #7

    Aug 21, 2006, 08:05 PM
    First of all, you're only 18 so I wouldn't fret too much about this. You still have your whole life ahead of you and it's doubtful that at such a young age you've cast yourself "to be deemed permanently single." No doubt other posters on here will suggest to you that maybe you're too much of a "nice guy" or possibly even a bit of a "wuss" and that's why you always seem to end up in the "friend zone" with all these women you meet. I don't know if that's the case here or not. Maybe you do wear your heart out on your sleeve a little too much. Perhaps you should be a little more mysterious with these women. Be a little more assertive when it comes to physical affection but don't be overly anxious ; no calling 5 times a week. Make your dates few but intense. After each date lay low for a couple of weeks with no contact. Eventually they'll probably start to chase you, then you'll be in total control and things will be right where you want them. Try it and see if your luck changes.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,244, Reputation: 10853
    Expert
     
    #8

    Aug 22, 2006, 12:29 AM
    If your looking for a relationship you'll never find it. If your enjoying your life you wouldn't be worried about that deep relationship. Define your life by what you do and how well you enjoy yourself. A confident fun-loving attitude can attract someone better than anything in this world so let your hair down and be yourself and let it come to you. Be patient, after all what's the hurry? Concentrate on enjoying yourself and take that- I want a wife sign- off your forehead. Keep dating for the fun of it!!
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Aug 22, 2006, 04:04 AM
    Best things in life appear when least expected, remember that ;)

    Mine did.
    wap's Avatar
    wap Posts: 177, Reputation: 54
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Aug 22, 2006, 09:17 AM
    Aww if only there were more people like you who were 10 years older!

    18 is very young, have fun and someone nice will eventually come along : )

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