Will I go there or not?

luvee · Aug 19, 2006, 11:45 PM

I've met this guy, he's really cool and goodlooking and I do like him so much. He told my best friend he likes me too. Since his place is kind of far from my place. We used to communicate through calls and texts. He is now in Daet, it's a 2hrs drive from my place with his friend, and asking me if I could go there. I'm having second thought though, although I must admit, I really want to go there but I'm worried that because we like each other... it might end up doing that thing with him especially its overnight. So I texted him that I can't make it, he's quite disappointed because tomorrow he will go back to his place again and we won't see each other by then. I told him we'll meet next time, he replied " okay and take care" then never texted me again. What will I do?

Krs · Aug 21, 2006, 02:54 AM

What's worrying you so much about this guy?
Why are you worried if something happens between you two as you would have stayed overnight?

Here_To_Help- Jon · Aug 21, 2006, 08:44 AM

I assume that "doing that thing" is having sex and its sound slike you aren't ready for that with him... so instead of not going there at all... you can discuss with him your thots about that and come to terms with sleeping arrangements etc BEFORE you get there... then you can focus on enjoying time spent with each other...

J_9 · Aug 21, 2006, 08:55 AM

I am curious how they met. If it is over the internet I would absolutely stay away!!

From his text it does sound like sex and since she said that they will meet next time and only got one more text back saying "okay take care" this sends me a major red flag.

"okay take care" sounds to me like "well, if you don't want to have sex then I will find it somewhere else."

I could be wrong, but that is my take on it.

maria26 · Aug 21, 2006, 10:36 PM

I got the same impression as j_9 , OK take care sends up a huge red flag. To me that usually translates into I will never speak to you again... but again I could be wrong as well. If you are referring to sex as "doing that thing " you are NOT ready. Take each day one at a time, don't take any pressure from anyone! Value yourself and your needs first.

talaniman · Aug 22, 2006, 12:16 AM

Pat yourself on the back for following your first mind. No harm ,no foul, no regrets.

luvee · Aug 24, 2006, 10:12 PM

Hello! Thanks for the pieces of advice you've given me. I finally went out with this guy and yah girls your rite! All he wanted is to have sex with me. He booked us a room when I arrived and he wanted me to sleep with him. I was surprised. I said NO and he didn't push through though. We dated again yesterday and same incident happened I finally decided to sleep with this guy, funny because nothing happened. I don't know his intention up to now. Just this morning I learned that the guy I'm dating with is secretly married.His wife is in NEw york. Now, I didn't know why he keeps on seeing me... and the sad part there is, I like him I just can't let go.Its so complicated. Do I have to stay away from him to avoid further complications?Oh by the way, I met this guy through a friend.

kp2171 · Aug 24, 2006, 11:01 PM

he's married. He's not with you. You like a guy that's using you.

separated, not, whatever... you didn't know about this at all = a big lie.

you need to expect more for yourself, and it is that easy and not that complicated when somebody uses you like that.

YeloDasy · Aug 24, 2006, 11:40 PM

Let him go... you deserve better!

Krs · Aug 24, 2006, 11:51 PM

Originally Posted by luvee

Hello! Thanks for the pieces of advice you've given me. I finally went out with this guy and yah gurls ur rite! All he wanted is to have sex with me. He booked us a room when i arrived and he wanted me to sleep with him. I was surprised. I said NO and he didnt push through though. We dated again yesterday and same incident happened I finally decided to sleep with this guy, funny coz nothin happened. I dunno his intention up to now. Just this morning i learned that the guy im dating with is secretly married.His wife is in NEw york. Now, i didnt know why he keeps on seeing me... and the sad part there is, i like him i just can't let go.Its so complicated. Do i have to stay away from him to avoid further complications?Oh btw, i met this guy through a friend.

Ask yourself these questions:-

1. Is a married man going to make me happy?
2. Is a married man going to spend quality time with me?
3. Is a married man going to want to get to know me as a person besides physically only?
4. I am happy to be his bit on the side?

If all your answers are NO then walk away now.

You said "We dated again yesterday and same incident happened I finally decided to sleep with this guy, funny coz nothin happened."... what does it really mean? How can u sleep with a guy, but nothing happened? :confused:

talaniman · Aug 25, 2006, 04:29 AM

All he wanted is to have sex with me.

I can't believe you didn't have a clue.

I don't know his intention up to now

Are you lying to us or yourself?

His wife is in NEw york. Now, I didn't know why he keeps on seeing me

This is where you have the facts but still don't admit the honest truth.

And the sad part there is, I like him I just can't let go.Its so complicated

Yes now the truth comes out and your right this is so sad.

Do I have to stay away from him to avoid further complications?Oh by the way, I met this guy through a friend

At least now you have the correct plan of action. And after you cuss your friend out for setting you up with a married man cuss yourself out for being naïve and foolish. I'm being harsh because there is NO WAY you didn't have a lot to do with this and the way it turned out. This is not complicated at all. You leave a married man alone ,even if he says your beautiful on your first meeting, it doesn't matter if you like him, jeez woman, if your that easy at least charge him cab fare and be done with it. If he cheats on his wife how do you think he really feel about you. Treat yourself better.

luvee · Aug 25, 2006, 04:31 AM

:( Sad truth, all of you are right. I'm really blinded. I'm hurt but still I pursue. But yep yep, I won't be happy with him and I feel that too just that I'm ignoring it.This is kind of hurt, but il walk away from him. I deleted his cel number in my phonebook and perhaps il change simcard also. Thanks a lot peeps... you wake me up perfectly right on time before nightmare strikes me. :)

Krs · Aug 25, 2006, 04:33 AM

Im glad to help.

luvee · Aug 25, 2006, 04:52 AM

Thanks kris. Tsk tsk... it sucks but nah, I learned from it. Tali is right, I'm so foolish and naïve.. Glad this forum helps me realized it.

Krs · Aug 25, 2006, 04:57 AM

Well we all learn from our mistakes, its just a learning point for all of us, and the best is keep our head up and high and not fall for the same situations again in the future.