[worriedaunt]

I have a niece (my brother's child). She lives in Miami with her mother and my brother lives in Boston (moved there 7 months ago). I pick my niece up at least twice a month and I keep her for the weekend. Is not that my brother is unfit, he just doesn't have the brains to care for a child. He is a good dad but when he has his daughter he gives her to my mother to take care of her, says, "I'll be back" and takes the all day to get back. Then he picks her up when its time to take her back to her mommy.

My niece's mother is another case. She has found an efficiency. She is also a good mother at times but she is careless and has a freedom problem. When she had the baby they lived with my parents and before that she did not know what freedom was because of my brother being over-jealous. After they split up all she does is party and that is fine with me, when it affects my niece is when I have a problem.

She makes sure my niece is dressed and that she attends school, that's fine. She drops her off at daycare, late most of the time (My brother pays for daycare). After that, her great grandmother (who smokes cigarettes indoors) picks her up and keeps her until the night when her mother picks her up to go home from work.

My niece's mother had a boyfriend living with her (in the efficiency), a one room place. Her bed is right next to her mother's bed. My niece is five years old and knows about sex and shows me how her mommy does it. I have the great advantage that she tells me everything. My niece has has a urinary track infection since she was 2 1/2 years old because her mother showed her how to wipe properly.

She just tells me, "she knows how to wipe my mom potty trained her". She still has a urinary track infection and there is only so much I can do the weekends I have her with me. Another thing, when have you met a five year old who knew what stripping was and how to do it and what for, these things added with other careless incidents. I'm afraid to say anything to the mother because I don't want my niece to get another spanking.

Another thing, when I pick her up she is anxious to leave, she spends the weekend insisting "my mommy loves me". Then, when it comes time to take her back home she doesn't want to go home and wants to live with me.

It breaks my heart to hear these things and I worry. I have even thought of suggesting to the mother to make me my niece's legal guardian and leave her to live with me and she can pick her up during the weekends (because of school). I don't want my niece to lose communication with neither of her parents but my husband and I can give her a better way of life; we are not rich but we care a lot more than her parents do. Is it in any way possible to get custody of my niece? And if not, is there anything I can do to help?

[s_cianci]

You can always petition the Family Court in your county of residence. However, bear in mind that in order to get custody you have to prove that the child is neglected, to the point where her physical and/or emotional well-being is at stake. Based on your post, I'm not sure that you'd ever be able to convince a judge of that. I certainly agree with and appreciate your concerns and it sounds to me like your sister-in-law is a complete idiot but it takes a lot more than that to legally have custody of a child taken away from a parent and given to someone else. Consult with a family-law attorney for firsthand information.

[LUNAGODDESS]

It is so clear that you have no children or you have a sibling problems... your niece mother does not sound like a freak or a deviate... talk to her about having sex next to her child better yet just notify her of some noticeable behaviors that a 5 year old should not understand now.. stripping that is television... you must see a deviate action against this child or the results of one... if not she is a normal child in an unconventional situation... break your heart... she playing one side against the other... bless the little one heart...

NOW to your brother... his daughter needs him... give him back his responsibly... stop allowing him to be an absent father... say no more to the all day visit with you and your mother... your brother is using you... no good daddy will neglect his child.

You stop the hating and causing baby momma drama... more harsh words were expressed about her then your brother... you dismissed his responsibility

If I were a child and had fun at your house I would not want to leave... oh something else has comes to thought... get both families together state you issues and develop an intervention plan... remember it takes a village to raise child...

[educatedhorse_2005]

I would talk to the mother and the father.
Father first since he is your brother. Get him to sign over guardian ship to you.
Then talk to the mother.
I have just recently gone through this with a sister and once you point out how much freedom she will have and much easier her life will be.

She just might take you up on it.

Pm me and I will help you

[chewie007]

I would talk to the mother and the father.
Father first since he is your brother. Get him to sign over guardian ship to you.
Then talk to the mother.
I have just recently gone through this with a sister and once you point out how much freedom she will have and much easier her life will be.

She just might take you up on it.

Pm me and I will help you

Hello I just read your post and I have a question for you, my brother and sister in law have 3 children and they are unable to care for them they live from shelter to hotel and my brother can't keep a job. My sister in law refuses to work and doesent really know how to care for the 3 girls. My husband and I along with my brother and sis in law have come to an agrement that they would sign over rights to us for one child and the other to to my mother and sister my question to you since you stated that you have gone through getting custody of your sisters child/children is what's the first step, where do we start? What do we have to do? I don't think that it should be that difficult since we are all in agrement and we have the girls best interest in mind this way they can have a better education better healthcare a better child hood all together. The girls ages are 4,2,and 7 months.