[justbeinme]

Here is my thesis statement, please let me know if it need improving or if I can say it in any other way?

"Eventhough people use cosmetic surgery to look better becasue of low self esteem; what about the people who needs medical proceedures."

[Wondergirl]

here is my thesis statement, please let me know if it need improving or if i can say it in any ohter way?.

"Eventhough people use cosmetic surgery to look better becasue of low self esteem; what about the people who needs medical proceedures."

What course is it for? What's the actual assignment? -- just to write a thesis statement?

What kind of essay are you supposed to write with this as your thesis statement?

What grade are you in?

There are a whole bunch of mistakes in what you wrote. Do you see them? If so, would you please make corrections?

[justbeinme]

Well I have to write an expository essay for my college course and I'm having trouble thinking of a thesis statement for cosmetic surgery.

[Wondergirl]

well i have to write an expository essay for my college course and im having trouble thinking of a thesis statement for cosmetic surgery.

First figure out what you want to say (exposit on) in the essay. Then tell me what (in 25 words or less).

[Wondergirl]

From unc.edu --

How do I get a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a "working thesis," a basic or main idea, an argument that you think you can support with evidence but that may need adjustment along the way.

[linnealand]

Unfortunately, I am going to have to agree with WonderGirl. Your thesis is packed with problems. What I'm about to tell you is going to sound harsh, but this situation seems significant enough for it to warrant total honesty and your complete attention. In my opinion, what you submitted could be expected from a poor student in elementary school. There is no way you will be able to sail through college with such poor writing skills. In that one little sentence, you managed to include grammatical incompetence, problems with punctuation, and spelling errors. Moreover, your understanding of what a thesis should be seems quite weak.

If your college has a writing center, it would be a great idea for you to go there to take advantage of its resources. If your school does not have a writing center, you should enroll in a 101 writing class. No matter how good your ideas are, a poorly written paper will never earn you good grades. Your writing abilities will have an impact on the rest of your life. Do not underestimate their significance. I'm truly very sorry for being so hard on you, but I promise that it's for your own good.

[Suzen peterson]

I have to write a thesis on cosmetic surgery PRO

[Clough]

Hi, Suzen!

If you're going to ask a new question that's not in anyway an answer to the original question that's at the top of the page, then I would suggest that you start a new thread as this place doesn't work the same way that a chat room does.

Thanks!