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lalalala15 · Dec 13, 2008, 10:20 PM

Hey! OK so my friend met this guy when my friend(and her friend too) started dating this other guy and so my friend met this other guy through our friends boyfriend! If that makes any sense! So my friend who is single, likes our friends boyfriends, friend. And the other problem is I like him too!! :( she knows him a little bit better than I do, but I still like him a lot and feel like me and him could have a pretty good and long relationship. I feel like I like this guy better than my friend does. I feel like I care about him and his feelings more than she does. But its so awkward because we like are best friends!! And we can't even really talk about him to each other! I feel so bad for my friend and don't want to hurt her! But he already said he doesn't like her so.. I don't know. But I don't know what to do! I feel like I desvere him I guess and care more. But I don't want to hurt her feelings but I like this guy so much!! Help!!

AManWithNoName · Dec 14, 2008, 11:44 AM

Honey, trust me, it always fells like you care more about the person thatn your friend does, I've been a situation like yours, if you feel you like the guy more than your friend does ask him out, because if you don't, your friend will

xxariesxx · Dec 14, 2008, 01:15 PM

I really disagree with the above answer. If you just go and ask him out like that you're asking for trouble in a lot of ways. You could just go ask him out, then what? You've potentially ruined your friendship by not taking your friend's feelings into consideration, and not only that, but who knows what this guy would tell you or how long the relationship would last. Isn't your friendship more important?

You're worried about your friend's feelings, right? The best thing for you to do is to talk to her and tell her how much you care about this guy and how much you want to try things with him, but that you want her to know you care about her feelings and don't want her to be hurt. Just be completely open and honest with her, and if she's okay with it, then yeah you should ask him out.

AManWithNoName · Dec 14, 2008, 01:44 PM

Well I disagree with you, if she's your best friend, shell undersrtand, I've been In that situation before

xxariesxx · Dec 14, 2008, 02:33 PM

I have been in that situation too. I was the girl that got hurt because my friend went after a guy I really liked. She knew I liked him and asked him out anyway. It hurt, a lot. Does that make me a bad friend? I don't think so.

If you have respect for your friend and for yourself you'll take everyone's feelings into consideration, not just your own.

AManWithNoName · Dec 14, 2008, 02:39 PM

Maybe its different between you and me, I did it to my best friend, I made it up to him, he was cool with it

52628 · Dec 14, 2008, 05:57 PM

Guys tend to let it go girls don't, k? You should talk to your friend

lalalala15 · Dec 31, 2008, 07:54 AM

OK so I justed started dating my boyfriend on 12-30-08. He's super funny and really hot! But me and him know each other because my friend hooked us up. So I have nvr seen him in person.. and we just started talking 2 days before before he asked me out. But here's the thing.. I really wanted a boyfriend and still do! But whenever I get one I get really stressed out and feel like I don't really like him anymore. And that's what happening now. He really likes me big time! And I think I do too but I don't know where the line is between best friend and boyfriend is. And it doesn't help that I lost a friend from going out with him. I didn't know she was going to freak at all and then when I told her she flipped out on me and doesn't want to be my friend anymore! So I've nvr gone out with a guy for longer than 2 days because I just get super stressed out and feel like I don't like them anymore, I mean its werid feel like I do him but I don't all at the same time. I really don't want to break this guys heart but I'm not sure I can handle this. Do u think its because I don't get to really know the guy before I go out with him? I don't know! And if I break up with him he will surely be taken by another girl right away because he's super hot. Help me understand what's going on!!

brysgirl3306 · Jan 2, 2009, 02:40 PM

If I were you, I think I would give it some time. I mean don't lead him on. But give it a little bit of time and see if your feelings change.

Mikeym · Jan 2, 2009, 05:04 PM

Girl like the challenge of a guy, you sound like one of them (dont take offence) once you get them the challenge is gone, therefore the spark that was there

Its always happening to me with girls but sure friends are always better,

liz28 · Jan 2, 2009, 07:52 PM

I don't understand how someone you never met is your boyfriend and after only talking to him after two days. Also, how you lose your friend after she was the one who wanted the two of you to get to know each other.

It seems like your need for a boyfriend is too much and you get your feelings involve too early. You can't just be with anyone and in order to be with someone you have to get to know them and getting to know someone takes times. Especially if you to maintain a relationship with them.

Calling someone your boyfriend after 2 days isn't cutting it and your only setting your ownself up.

So one step at a time. Talking over the phone is okay but meet him first. Then see if his actions matches his words. Then get to know him to see if the two of you're compatible. And after dating for a while the two of you can then become serious and you can give each other the title of boyfriend and girlfriend.

lalalala15 · Feb 11, 2009, 02:27 PM

Just kind of curious but how do you know if your really in love? Like I know that there's no sure way and that everyone finds their own way of knowing when it's love but just an opinion, I guess, on love is what I want. What are some things that show that it might actually be true love?

liz28 · Feb 11, 2009, 04:42 PM

Love is unconditional, meaning there is no conditions that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all one needs to look at is the actions of that person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. Should some one claim they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that would not in my book be considered love.

You really don't know how much someone loves you. Love isn't a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale movie of "love at first sight". ( I wonder what she or he will look like in "love at first sight in 50 years!!)There has to be a common bond. A place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Because.... People in love will purposely hurt each other with spiteful words and actions. Hoping that the other will understand by forgiving and comforting. But.. that kind of unconditional love is very rare. Its too easy to give up and see if the grass is greener elsewhere.

Also, love is about compromise and everyone involve giving there 100% and working together as a team. There's going be days that you can't stand one another and that's normal. There are going be times that he or she gets on your nerve and that's normal too. Everything isn't always peaches and cream all the time they are times we your going be oil and water but your still work out your differences. My all time favorite love show is the "honeymooners". They still stood by each other side no matter what even though Ralph already made the road bumpy.

neverme · Feb 11, 2009, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

Love is unconditional,

love is about compromise and everyone involve giving there 100% and working together as a team.

Absolutely agree!

lalalala15 · Feb 12, 2009, 01:16 PM

thank you sooooo much. That was an amazing post and really helped me out!! Thank you again. =D

lalalala15 · Feb 16, 2009, 07:54 PM

and by the way anymore posts would be great=)

charleneD · Feb 16, 2009, 09:04 PM

This is a question you should ask people who get married and stay happily married for all the right reasons. :)
The rest of us might not be knowledgeable enough.

ChihuahuaMomma · Feb 17, 2009, 01:17 AM

I think the old saying, "when you're there you'll know" still holds true...

samdarwen · Feb 17, 2009, 01:24 AM

It's really simple... Love is when you give without return, when you have no conditions to give, and when your love is biger than your want.. Love is a need to feel better. It's the willing to let go because that is what need to be done.. But love is not what we want.. We think we love some one, ore something, but no,, we love us, ourselves, because he or she or even it, makes us feel better about ourselves, and that is loving ourselves, not others.. To love or be in love, It's like a mothers love somehow.. we give and wait for the return.