[SHAHRAZAD]

Hi, my fiance's nice with me when I look good and talks about marriage has to be soon when I look good and of course I do not look good all the time like I do not dress up and put make up all the time and on those days he is not into me that much and acting like he is not ready like we fight and we have to deal with that first before stepping into a big step and all that crap and he acts not very enthusiastic about our relationship, he says he loves me but I do not feel he into me all the time and I do not want someone to want me only when I look good, what do I do? r all me like that way, treat you very nice and want to be close to you and jealous only when you look good , does that mean we have to be beautiful to be loved all the time?

[Krs]

NOOO... that sucks if he really does that and makes you believe that!

Do not marry this guy... who the hell does he think he is...
Does HE look good all the time, what a load of bu**ocks.. He should be ashamed!

Remember when one is married, you will wake up every morning by this person. Who really and truly wakes up looking bueatiful? Nobody does!
Neither does him... and you tell him that!

If he truly makes you feel this way.. I would talk to him before he drives you mad, this is no way to treat a women. He is no gentlemen but a a**hole, I'm sorry!

[JoeCanada76]

Marriage, Fiancée, Being in a relationship is about loving each other all the time. In good times, in bad times, no matter what each other is going through. Whether you are dressed up or not. Jealousy could become a big problem. You and This other person needs to be accepting of each other ALL TIMES. Yes, there may be fights and disagreements. It is how you both deal with these times but for somebody to control you in the way you look and dress. You need to do things for yourself and things that make you feel good. It is NOT about looking beautiful all the time and if that is the only reason. IT IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT. You need to communicate to him the way you feel. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel and what you do not agree with. Marriage is about PURE LOVE. It is about Communication. Beauty is in each of us. Beauty is not supposed to be the focus. He should be into you ALL TIMES. Whether you are dressed up or not.

Let him know this.

Joe

[Kadehadaire]

I agree with Krs! A man who loves you will adore the most horrible part of you, the most ugly! My boyf loves me dirty and clean, makes no difference if I'm dressed up or not - in fact I rarely dress up so when I do it is all the more special.

[aqua@home]

I agree, most men are not like that, this is not normal. That is not the type of man you want to marry. Beware: it could get worse. Your husband should love you no matter how you look or dress. He seems like a very shallow man.

[valinors_sorrow]

Hand him a magazine and suggest he marry that! LOL

[Wildcat21]

Get rid of this chump... he'll always put you down then - he should love you for who you are.

[JuLee]

I smell years of heartaches and pain if you marry this guy. And to answer your question above, not all men are that way. I am happy to be with one who loves me whether I have make up on or dress up for him. You have to let him know how you feel and if he doesn't change then lose the guy. He'll one day realize what a jerk he is when he gets to the age where looks don't matter anymore... and by then, you'd be married with someone who truly loves you for who you are, not how you look.

[talaniman]

Sorry to say the man your with is not in love with you. The actions you have described are not those of a man in love, nor a man who knows how to love. You would do yourself a big favor and leave this poor excuse of a man behind and get a real man that knows how to love and doesn't mind showing it in actions as well as words. You don't have to put up with this abuse, but if that's the way you want to be treated I suggest you wear your make-up to bed with you.

[SHAHRAZAD]

Thank you all for replying, you all are right I should have believed my gut from the beging that he is sooo shallow, he wants to be perceived as deep and believed his crap and I got confused, he is talking all the time about how guys are shallow and you have to a love a waman as she is ans he was acting completely the opposite, now I know not to believe any one on how they perceive themselves and what they say about themselves I've got to judge by myself because some people say about themselve what they like to be and now I know my fiancé is a fake I just needed to hear it and you are right talaniman he does not love me and does not know love, I like your comment val that made me laugh yes he shoud marry a fantacy. My relationship is over actually it was over along time ago because I know something does not feel right and I was scared if I marry this guy I have to be in tip top condition all the time to keep him? That was saddening to me and I was not in joy . Thank you all for your advices and helping me take this hard decission that I knew I had to take but was scared because I thought all guys are like that because they say all the time guys are visual and if I want to marry a man, all men are visual,so I did not know what to think, appreciated a lot.

[kp2171]

You are right.

He is a fake.

And if you go ahead with the marriage you'll likely be sorry and KNOW that you KNEW better.

I love it when my wife dresses nicely and is "put together" to go out for a night, of course... but if a man can't look at his wife lovingly first thing in the morning, no makeup, not dressed... if being next to you then doesn't make him smile and make him treat you kindly, then its really not love, and he's really not much of a man.

[Wildcat21]

There are deep men out there... this guy isn't one of them.

You sound like a sweet heart - now be careful - GO SLOW - and you WILL find a great guy that loves you for MORE than looks.

[educatedhorse_2005]

I think my wife looks the best right after she gets out of bed when she is still in her pajamas.

He should always like the way you look.
What will he say when you get pregnant.