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ka1 · Feb 13, 2009, 10:21 PM

Well I geuss we will have to disagree. I don't think this is the same, there is a detachment there that is insulting.

ISneezeFunny · Feb 13, 2009, 10:22 PM

I understand that, and this feeling won't go away until you are over her. I feel that after you're over her, and you deal with the breakup, you can look back and realize how silly getting upset over this is.

I wish you the best bud.

talaniman · Feb 14, 2009, 06:43 AM

Its for this reason we tell you to not sniff behind an ex. You might not like what they are doing, without you.

While I understand you being upset, you must know your own actions (sniffing behind her ) has led to this.

You must accept you cannot control her actions, but you can control your own, and that means giving yourself a chance to heal, so you can put things in there proper perspective.

Your not the first one who cannot grasp the concept of No Contact, nor the first to put themselves through misery and pain, by keeping contact. Takes time you'll get it, as there are a lot of stubborn people who have come here before you did, with the same stubborn attitude.

ka1 · Feb 14, 2009, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Its for this reason we tell you to not sniff behind an ex. You might not like what they are doing, without you.

While I understand you being upset, you must know your own actions (sniffing behind her ) has led to this.

You must accept you cannot control her actions, but you can control your own, and that means giving yourself a chance to heal, so you can put things in there proper perspective.

Your not the first one who cannot grasp the concept of No Contact, nor the first to put themselves thru misery and pain, by keeping contact. Takes time you'll get it, as their are a lot of stubborn people who have come here before you did, with the same stubborn attitude.

Perspective... how this for perspective. I found out my uncle died last night while I was whaling away on the key boards. I'm not very close to a lot of my family members, but I was to this side of the family, and this hit me because it was sudden. He had been battling cancer a yr ago, but had gotten it out of his system, last summer. He was well enough to walk around and went on a family reunion cruise, that I was the only family member not to go on. So he was not sick any more.

Or so I believed. Actually the cancer had come back in Dec. And the last time I spoke to him 3 weeks ago, he sounded fine to me, but he knew time was short, and so didn't tell me anything when I called to tell him that my engagement was off. Rather than tell me, he and my aunt decided to talk to me, and try and console me instead. My uncle was dying, knew it, and decided to try and help me through my pain. I don't even know how to deal with that knowledge let alone the anguish I feel over not going on that cruise.

I'm done with situation regarding my ex. It's time I moved on.

Ash123 · Feb 14, 2009, 06:01 PM

I may have totally missed something, but it seems you may be beating yourself up (and her) too much.

I know you are pissed and they are NOT her ideas and she DID CHEAT but if she chose to do it, it's her call...

Unless you want to get a lawyer and sue her on hearsay all you can do is tell her you know and you think her profiting of your ideas is offensive.

After that, it's kind of out of your hands...

easynow · Feb 14, 2009, 06:26 PM

Why get upset about it?its done now. Anyway when you gave her the gift you pretty much gave her the idea, in future may you should patent any other gift ideas you have!

ka1 · Feb 15, 2009, 01:02 AM

It wasn't using the idea that upset me. Doesn't matter now anyway, I got heavier family stuff to deal with.

Empty Cans · Feb 15, 2009, 01:26 AM

I think you should be happy that your gift was such a good idea that she is re-using it and showing it off. You can defintiely re-use the gift idea in your next relationship and know it will work.

ka1 · Feb 15, 2009, 01:33 AM

Originally Posted by Empty Cans

I think you should be happy that your gift was such a good idea that she is re-using it and showing it off. You can defintiely re-use the gift idea in your next relationship and know it will work.

NEXT RELATIONSHIP?? I'm giving up women!! :p:D

ka1 · Feb 17, 2009, 10:56 PM

Threads Merged

None of this is working. I still feel like a freakin little baby cause I want to cry every freakin night. I mean I can't even work out without feeling like I'm going to break down. What the hell.

DJ28 · Feb 17, 2009, 11:03 PM

I guess what helped me so far is, I have taken her off that pedestal that I had my ex on. Try thinkiing maybe of all the memory's you guys have had and start thinking of some of that bad things she has done, or the way she has treated you in the past. I mean if she loved you she would be with you, Be pissed about that and say screw her, she's the one that is missing out and losing something special. Because honestly you seem like a good person, so yeah she is the one missing out. You need to realize and accept it is over though and just move on, and have a positive outlook. Know that yes it sucks now but in time I will find someone better then her. Take her off that pedestal you have her on though.

DJ28 · Feb 17, 2009, 11:06 PM

Also I would recommend the movie forgetting sarah marshall, sounds stupid but it really helps a lot. I mean yeah it's a movie and its not all true, but ut makes you feel like there is hope.

neverme · Feb 17, 2009, 11:13 PM

We all have these days, been having a bad spell myself recently. This too will pass. Time will heal.

What helped me today was to think "I don't need her in my life"... until the feeling to break something/cry/call them subsides.

Guidostern · Feb 18, 2009, 12:38 AM

It's hard. We've all been there and like never says, we all have our bad days. The truth is, you just got to find out what works for you. It's going to take a while and it'll hurt like hell, but you'll get through it.

What worked for me? I worked out ALL the time and picked up as many patrol shifts as I could until I got it off my mind... but what works for me, might not work for you.

Honestly, you'll find your own way to get over it and when you do, you'll know it. My ex and I have been broken up for almost 6 months and I still have moments from time to time even though I know that I'm happier without her.

Just hang in there, you'll get it!

kctiger · Feb 18, 2009, 07:25 AM

Your countless threads are starting to really wear me down. I KNOW you are hurting. You have just gotten out of a 7 year relationship (correct me if I am wrong). It won't be easy. The BEST thing for you to do is go through this rough time of crying like a "baby." Trust me my friend, you will soon cry enough that you get tired of it.

You cannot expect this to pass quickly. It will be a long, drawn out process of emotions that you have very little control over. It does no good to keep them in, so let them out, ALL of them. Don't worry that you don't have "hope" yet or that you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. This journey, the "healing process," if you will, is LONG, and it is meant to go through steps, that quite honestly, you WILL NOT want to endure, but that is what makes it worth it.

Patience... if you don't have it, you WILL learn it, because that is the key factor and driving force in getting through this. You have to have patience! Trust me... after a few months go by, you will come on here, look at your past posts, and realize how far you truly have come. Your journey is guided by others on here who know EXACTLY what you are going through... so, have faith, if nothing else, that we know you are hurting, and that we KNOW you will get better.

TrueFaith · Feb 18, 2009, 10:38 AM

its annoying isn't it :) it will pass though

I have said what the hell so many times
after my relationships

I mean its amazing how much things can effect us.

you just got out of a 7 year relationship that's not an easy thing to get over so feel your pain and move on =)

it will happen

best of lucl

jmw0713 · Feb 18, 2009, 10:54 AM

It will take time to feel right again. Just let all of your emotions out. Don't hold them in. If you need to cry... cry. If you need to talk to someone (NOT the ex) then do so. It will take a long time for you to get over this after such a long attachment to someone.

It is only natural you feel this way. It will get better as long as you give yourself enough time to do so.

artlady · Feb 18, 2009, 11:03 AM

You are going through a grieving process.Process being the key word.
Stay on track and keep trying to heal and one day you will notice ,you went an hour without pining over her.The next day you might think of her all day.You can't just throw in the towel.

Talk to yourself.Create a new inner dialogue that says* I am strong,I am worthy,I can do this*.

This is a learning experience,try to grasp what it is you are learning.

talaniman · Feb 18, 2009, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by ka1

it wasn't using the idea that upset me. Doesn't matter now anyway, I got heavier family stuff to deal with.

What sort of family problems are you having?

I know when it rains, it pours!:confused:

wolfgangqpublic · Feb 18, 2009, 01:51 PM

You need to basically give yourself a month for every six you were together to get it out of your system in an immediate sense. Add another month for being engaged. You were together seven years.

It could be over a year before you feel free of it all. Take your time. You haven't been out of it for even a month yet.