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djbaked · Feb 6, 2009, 10:03 PM

I need to know if my girlfriend was a virgin. She claims she is, my friends say she is not, I don't know what to think. Before we started dating, her ex boyfriend (my friend) and her were in her basement drunk and naked making out. He was on top of her and he began to slide his penis inside of her, when she realized what was happening and the pain hit she told him to get out cause it hurt like hell and was too big. He got just his head inside of her and a few moments later tried again, this time he slid it a little more, just past the head of his penis in her vagina and held it there for like a minute with no penetration. She could not take the pain and he pulled out. That was the last time they got together.

So about a month later we started dating and we did have sex and She claims I took her virginity, I too was a virgin so it was special to do it with another virgin.

However my friend claims he is the one who actually took her virginity...
I want to believe she was, but I really don't know if she was... Is it possible she lost her virginity without having actuall sex?

DSM521 · Feb 6, 2009, 10:29 PM

Well this is a tricky question. But in my opinion penitrtion is sex. No matter how deep it went.

My question is are you old enoughf to be posting on this thread. This sounds like a high school question if I have ever heard one.

Here is the problem, When teenagers start doing grown up stuff like sex all kinds of issues arise. If you like this girl it won't matter. She does not sound like a slut. Just sounds like she got her self in a situation she did not want to be in. Have you not fooled around. She was not with you at the time. If you want to be with a virgin than get to know the person you are giving yourself to. Make a commitment to that person. Give it some time before jumping into bed.

Sex is a heavy thing. I understand being hot for someone, I was young once as well. Sex is something that should be shared between a mature committed couple. I hate to sound like your parents but this is Pandora's box you are opening.

I say it was sex. Does that make her a bad person, no way. Things happen. You will see that being drunk and putting yourself in a situation you don't want to be in is a recipe for disaster no matter how old you are.

My advice, slow down. If you are as young as I think you are you or her are not ready for sex or the feelings it brings. Take time to find out what you want in a relationship and don't be stupid enough to think just because you have sex with someone it means you are meant to be with them for the rest of your life.

Alty · Feb 6, 2009, 11:19 PM

People have different definitions for what they consider virginity.

It depends on what you consider a virgin. If her hymen is intact is she a virgin? What if she had anal sex but not vaginal, is she still a virgin? If she gives a guy oral does that mean she's no longer a virgin even though her hymen is intact? Too many different opinons on the subject.

A male put his penis inside her, it doesn't matter how far he went, I wouldn't consider her a virgin at that point.

Why does it matter so much to you, that's the question you should be asking yourself.

neverme · Feb 7, 2009, 07:08 AM

Emotionally she gave her virginity to you and that is what should matter to you and her.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 7, 2009, 07:14 AM

If she says you were the one, then you were the one, stop trying to worry and make something out of it.

Why does it even matter

artlady · Feb 7, 2009, 07:50 AM

Like Altenweg stated why does it matter so much ?

You seem to trust the bragging rights of your friend more than you do your girl.

That doesn't seem very fair or gentlemanly. And as Neverme said,she gave herself to you emotionally and of free will so that is all you should be concerned about!

Synnen · Feb 7, 2009, 09:09 AM

I want to know how old you are before I answer this question--which, by the way, has been asked NUMEROUS times on this board, if you'd done a search.

Choux · Feb 7, 2009, 09:07 PM

It's official:

Penis in vagina... NOT a virgin. :)

Alty · Feb 7, 2009, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

It's official:

penis in vagina...NOT a virgin. :)

Had to spread the rep, but I agree.

chrissymarie · Feb 9, 2009, 01:09 PM

If you love her and you trust her you shouldn't be doubting her. If she says she is a virgin she is.

I really don't think virginity is about whether a penis or whatever penetrates you are not. It's about willingly giving your virginity up to your partner.

So if she is willing to give herself to you and you're the first guy she's ever willingly wanted to have sex with then she is losing her virginty you.

Now you and I both know guys lies about sex so why would you believe him?

neverme · Feb 9, 2009, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

If you love her and you trust her you shouldn't be doubting her. If she says she is a virgin she is.

I really dont think virginity is about whether a penis or whatever penetrates you are not. It's about willingly giving your virginity up to your partner.

So if she is willing to give herself to you and your the first guy she's ever willingly wanted to have sex with then she is losing her virginty you.

Now you and I both know guys lies about sex so why would you believe him?

Emotional v Physical Virginity.

I know which I'd rather.

Justwantfair · Feb 9, 2009, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

If you love her and you trust her you shouldn't be doubting her. If she says she is a virgin she is.

I really dont think virginity is about whether a penis or whatever penetrates you are not. It's about willingly giving your virginity up to your partner.

So if she is willing to give herself to you and your the first guy she's ever willingly wanted to have sex with then she is losing her virginty you.

Now you and I both know guys lies about sex so why would you believe him?

I have to second this thought.

Virginity in this instance is a state of mind and she is sharing her first time with you.

The hymen can not determine virginity.

bronzebabe · Feb 9, 2009, 06:50 PM

There is NO question here, the OTHER guy stuck his penis in her vagina...there WAS penetration. She was NOT a virgin, and even She didn't realize that, which means she shouldn't be doing ANYTHING. She could get diseases and/or get pregnant. I am always surprised the number of gals that say they are "virgins" but have had a penis inside them. Penis in vagina even a TINY bit- you are NOT a virgin.

smoothy · Feb 10, 2009, 05:52 AM

She wasn't a virgin... big deal... get over it. Lifes too short to dwell over petty issues. Her personality is what you have to live with... if she was or wasn't a virgin is dumb to worry about.

ShadyLady · Feb 11, 2009, 12:17 AM

Technically a virgin is someone who still has an intact hymen. Usually a female will bleed when her hymen is torn, unless the male is very careful. It is almost always painful, or at the least uncomfortable.
With this information you might be ale to figure it out.

Yet does it matter?

Please use protection.