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    Bratface3424's Avatar
    Bratface3424 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 2, 2009, 02:05 PM
    I can't read him
    Well, I know there are probably a lot of similar questions out there but none that I could find quite match my situation.
    I recently came back from uni and met up with some friends. One of my friends brought her possible boyfriend and he brought a friend. I went on a double date with them a week later, but the guy friend decided me and him should just be friends... and we are.
    My issue is that I like my friend's possible boyfriend. But he really confuses me. He says they're just friends but she thinks they're an item.
    When him and myself are with our friends he's really sarcastic to me and otherwise ignores me... except he keeps looking at me. And then when we're on our own he's soooo sweet to me and flirts and acts as though he fancies me. He's also the perfect gentlemen... something I am not used to, lol. (I generally pick the heads) For example, he's always trying to give me his coat when it's really cold... generally just me... no one else.
    He has this calming effect on me, I work my best when I have spoken to him, I also get this weird tingly sensation throughout my body when I think of him or we speak but when I haven't spoken I get all jittery, I can't sleep, I can't eat etc.
    So as I was so confused I asked him if he liked me but he wouldn't say whether he "liked" me or liked me as a friend, he just said he liked me. So am even more confused.
    But now...
    Now he seems to be avoiding me. I really miss him... but should I just steer clear as my friend has known him longer etc?
    Some of my friends are saying go for it, you should think about yourself on this one... what if he's the one, others say have your cake and eat it... a bit like he is, and the rest say steer clear. What do I do??
    (The link between the title and this question is that I'm normally really very good at reading people and knowing exactly what is happening but on this one I am struggling)
    Thanks x
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #2

    Feb 2, 2009, 02:23 PM
    Well, how close is your friend (the girl) who's potential boyfriend this guys is?

    Personally, I don't really believe in the one, because there are so many potential matches out there. For all of us.

    I'm not a guy, so I can't see this from his perspective and I understand that his behavior is confusing to you, but what you should be more concerned about is your friend. If she is close to you and you make a move on this guy (doesn't matter if he likes you or not) you will most likely make irreparable damage on your relationship to her. Are you willing to risk that?

    Is this guy really worth it? Seeing as you just got back from uni. How old are you? Don't you think there are some other guys out there whom your friends are not interested in?
    wolfgangqpublic's Avatar
    wolfgangqpublic Posts: 189, Reputation: 29
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    #3

    Feb 2, 2009, 02:28 PM

    There is no such thing as "the one".

    When I was in between my first and second years of university, I fell hard for a girl that I thought was wonderful and perfect for me. Unrequited love that lingered for almost two years before I finally bit the bullet and asked her out, because I couldn't focus on anybody else. We had a fun time but it was clear that she didn't see me that way. I thought that it'd be a longtime before I met someone who made me feel like that.

    Weeks later I meet another girl, and a few months later we start dating. We end up together for a year, and then she ends it (her choice, but not with malice). At the start, I didn't feel as much for her as this previous girl. By the end, she was FAR more important to me by far than that other girl ever was.

    Recently, I dated a girl several times. I don't think it's going anywhere, but I remember a moment when I realized that we had more in common interest-wise than my ex and I. This only reminded me that opportunity lies around every corner.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Feb 2, 2009, 05:26 PM

    What if he's the one
    All my past g/f 's were the one.........for a while any way.

    Forget the guy, he is keeping the door open for himself, and thats okay for single guys to do, but don't read more into this than you should, as your friend is still very much in the picture, so back off, and stay within the bounds of good behavior and don't act on the intense feelings he brings out in you.

    Not now any way as he is a bit, UNAVAILABLE at this time.
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #5

    Feb 3, 2009, 04:18 AM

    If he avoids you, you should just avoid him.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #6

    Feb 3, 2009, 04:25 AM

    You have to live with your thoughts and actions,no one else does.
    Let your conscience be your guide,it rarely steers you wrong.

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