[bertopolo]

Hello, I need some advice on my girlfriend. We have been seeing each other for around 8 months now and I hate to admit it but we isn't had much of a physical relationship (were both 21). I'm quite shy and haven't had much experience with relationships.she knows this however its only ever myself who initiates anything that happens between us (why is this? She knows what she's doing, as she's been in relationships before and I know she's had sex b4). I do really like her and I think she likes me but we just can't seem to hit it off. We seem to get on fine and have had no arguments but all I ever get is a kiss at the end of the night (which I think if I never initiated wouldn't happen). Im now stuck in the paraniod thots of is she still interested? Does she think I'm going to refuse any advancements or will she refuse my advancements? Or is she waiting to tell me she wants to be friends? This is making times even more difficult on trying to get intimate with her, as I feel that this would improve our relationship grately if we did but I just can't find the "right" moment (basically because when were together there's a lack of intimacy or physical contact causing any advencements to seem out of context). Please get bk to me on is as its screwing with my mind and feelings. Thanks for you time and help

Regards

Sum1outthere

[Krs]

Would it be so hard for you to sit with her and talk with her.
Ask her all the questions you asked me?
She is the only one who can give you an answer, not me.

[aqua@home]

Yup, I agree, this is something you two should sit down and discuss. If you can't discuss sex then how can you actually have sex. Start talking and keep talking.

[Wildcat21]

Communicatin is king.

You might not like the answers though -but you must ask.

I have a feeling you are in her 'friend zone' unfortunately because you were not aggressive enough.

[J_9]

Maybe in her friend zone like Wildcat said, but... devil's advocate here

What if she is waiting for you to make the move since you are a virgin and she is not. She may be waiting for a signal from you that it is okay with you to have sex with her.

She may not want to "de-virginize" you unless she knows you are okay with it. Have you discussed this with her?

[s_cianci]

She's probably waiting for you to be more assertive. That's probably what you need to do. Don't bother waiting for any "right time" ; just make it happen if that's what you want.

[maria26]

If you really like her make the move... her body language will tell you the rest. Or you could always go with a safer approach and talk to her.

[talaniman]

Is that all you have to complain about? Talk to her! Maybe she's wondering if you'll respect her in the morning! Or maybe she isn't ready... start talking to her. Assume nothing!

[Skell]

Yes assume nothing. I do think it is a possibility though (like I rep'd on J_9's post) that perhaps she is respecting the fact that you are a virgin and doesn't want to push you into something that you aren't ready for.
Talk to her.
What's the new word on the list??
COMMUNICATION.
Someone on here said it before that often when someone just simply asks there partner something that is troubling them they often get the answer they expected or wanted from the one they love. So ask...
You might be pleased with the answer.

[Krs]

Never assume, assuming can be the brother of all F**K ups..
Talk to her.. communicate with her, and I'm sure all will be fine, then you know where you stand with her, instead of wondering and asking yourself all sorts of questions!

[YeloDasy]

I agree with everyone here that you need to talk to her...

I know a couple who have been married for a few years and they have a difference in experience on who initiates intimacy. She never initiates and he wants her to... and they have to communicate all the time to make sure all needs being met.

Your girlfriend may be like my friend and just doesn't initiate intimacy... or she may have another reason that she just hasn't talked to you about yet... and a little conversation may open her up to talking to you about it... and make sure you listen carefully... no judging or trying to change her... just listen... and try to understand... hope that helps!

[bhattim]

Why not bring in kissing before and not at the end of the date, how about bringing it in during the date specially if it is in your house over dinner, candle light, nice music ----be romantic... and see if that turns her on... cook for her.. buy her a gift... anniversary, celebrate something... where do you think a kiss would lead at the end of the night on the door...