[Krs]

No one is perfect Aqua and it seems to me that your man is good husband.

Good Luck dear xx

[orange]

I give my husband credit for what he has done. He stayed with me when we were teenagers and pregnant. He wouldn't let us go on welfare and has busted his a** to support us. He is not perfect but he does love us very much. We are very aware of the situation we put ourselves in and are simply looking at different ways to make it better.

Yes he sounds like a gem for that! Most of the women I know who had babies in high school or right after high school are no longer with their partners. It sounds like he's made a lot of sacrifices for you. Even wanting to work in the oil fields to make more money is a kind of sacrifice as well, since part of his reasoning is to help support the family better. It's true that there are many men out there who seem to think only of themselves and are neglectful as husbands and fathers, but men are people too and have feelings and needs. They get bashed too often and too easily for not doing exactly the right thing. I am guilty of being hard on them too, although I'm really trying hard to change that in myself. Now that I have sons it seems a bit easier!

We are not in the same situation as you, but my husband just completed his medical degree this past year. He was offered a very good position in a family practice clinic, and was going to take it in order to support us better, but I knew he really wanted to continue his education and become a psychiatrist, which would mean 5 more years of school and less money for us in the meantime. I encouraged him to do what made him happy. He works very hard in the ER while doing his psychiatric training at the same time. It's less money for us, but his happiness is also important.

I wish you and your family all the best, aqua! Please keep us posted on how things are going!

[Jnet29]

Hi aqua, I have not been on in a while how are things with you in the family? Good I hope, well I'm in a pickle right now I don't know if I should get a divorce from my husband or wait to see if he's coming back home. He tells me he'll come home when he get rid of his gambling problem, I don't believe him because he had this problem for ever and he gambles every month. I really think he is cheating on me I don't have proof yet and I don't now what to do, we will be married a year in October. I just need some advice seeing he's out in the streets and not coming home should I just let him go?

[aqua@home]

Hi all, I am back after over a week of being off. Wow, things have changed! My husband had decided not to take the job that would take him away for longer than his job right now. We know this will be better for our family and I'm sure we will be blessed for putting our family first. Sometimes it just takes some sitting down and hashing things out, to get on the right track.

Jnet, thank you for your concern. I am sorry to hear about your problems though. I think if there is any question about your husband's faithfulness, you need to really decide if this is going to be worth it. A friend of mine had a husband who gambled most of what they had away, that was not a good way to live. She put off a divorce for years, she was just delaying the inevitable. I will have to go back and read some of your posts to try to get caught up on what's going on in your life. I will get back to you. (It does sound like your husband has some issues, whether it's cheating or not, I do not know). Take care of yourself.

PS... thank you all for your support and ideas!

[Jnet29]

Hi aqua, I'm so happy to hear that your husband didn't take that job and you all will make it together, god will bless you all for doing the right thing. :) I'm also happy that your husband see what needs to come first. I wish my husband was more like that, he only thinks of hisself he don't care anything about me or our children I'm just really tired I'm 6months pregnant and I need surgery to remove a herneia I just found out I was born with, I can't bearly walk that's how bad it is and I can't do much lifting so my children helps me a lot with the house work and with my 2 year old.

[aqua@home]

Thank you for your support.

Jnet: That sounds miserable. It's good to have some help even if it's from children. Sometimes they seem to be all we have. Your husband doesn't seem to have the concern he should have for his family. He does seem to be selfish. I think it is time for him to grow up. Maybe you should let him go, I can imagine that it would be hard, but maybe if you let him go, he would see what he is missing. If possible, I would just take care of yourself and your children because that is what matters right now. I know what it is like to be in pain during a pregnancy, and stress is not what you need right now. Have you thought about getting some counselling for yourself? I went to see a counsellor during my last pregnancy for many different reasons, and I can tell you that it definitely helped me.

[Jnet29]

No, not about this but other things that I went through as a child and things that happened to my oldest daughter when she was 5 years old that a family member did to her but not about this, you are right it time that I let him go I can't divorce him yet because I have to go by what god word says the only grounds for a divorce is if he or I commits fornication that's what matthew 19:8 & 9 says so I just have to wait until I have the proof I need to get a divorce. You are right he only thinks of hisself and me and the childern are always last, if he even remembers us at all. You are welcome I'll be here if you ever need my support again, and I'll keep you and the family in my prayers : ) net

[aqua@home]

Thanks Jnet, I will keep you and your family in my prayers too. I think God wants you two to be together, but he doesn't want you to be in pain all of the time. You sound a little like myself, with the history and stuff. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with everything. With trying to deal with my past, my present and my future. I hope you will deal with your past, but when things get tough all we need to take care of is the present. You sound like you have a lot of faith in God. I hope you know that He will not give you more than you can handle and He is always there for you. You must be one tough lady. I will be starting in a support group in the fall and I can hardly wait. I think I am ready to deal with things, I know when you are ready, you will do what you need to do. No matter if that means divorce, counselling or whatever, you will do what you need when it is best for you and your family.

I wish you the best Jnet. Let go and let God.

[Jnet29]

Thank you so much aqua, for all the love and support you have given me through all of this.I will do just that I'm letting go and letting god, only he know how to fix this so I'll put it in his hands. Thank you again, oh before I forget I'll be offline for a while because he didn't pay our phone bill, but I'll be working on getting a phone in my name so I'll be in touch. : ) net

[aqua@home]

I wish you the best Jnet. Keep praying and I hope to hear from you soon.

[Jnet29]

I will do, I'll talk to you soon : ) net

[thelovedoctor77]

What in the hell kind of job is he talking about because there is no such job like that were work for 10 years and always away from your family that don't even sound right I mean comen sense would tell to thing he is ether cheating or he has another family on the side I don't know but the bull not even dog or a cave man would come up with something that dunb



Signing out the lovedoctor

[thelovedoctor77]

Every thing you just told me he said sound like bull crap