Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    scatterbrain90's Avatar
    scatterbrain90 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 27, 2009, 06:47 PM
    Heart Versus Head
    Hello!

    I have tangled myself into a web of problems regarding two different men. It all started over two months ago when I started crushing on an employee of a store that is in the same area of the mall that I work in. We began to flirt and talk when we were both working but I never thought anything serious would ever come of it. He ended up asking me to hang out about a month ago and things began to progress. I can safely say that I was never happier! After our winter vacation ended and we both began school again he started to drift away a bit... Things were going fairly well until last week when he made zero effort to see or talk to me. Well we ended up talking about what happened and he explained that he had a busy week and he didn't have any time, not even enough time to shoot me a message on MSN. To make things even worse, one of his fellow employees and friends has taken an interest in me. We have been hanging out a bit in the last week but it hasn't been anything serious, just talking and getting to know each other. Guy number two makes quite a bit of effort and is clear about his intentions and his feelings for me. My problem now is what to do... Do I wait it out and see if my original man is going to step up and sweep me off my feet once again or do I just forget about him and pursue guy number two who is ready for a relationship and commitment. Guy number one has my heart, even with his actions of the previous week, he just makes me crazy! I have some feelings for guy number two and over time I know I could start to really like him/ I would if my original man wasn't in the picture.
    loopy123's Avatar
    loopy123 Posts: 63, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jan 27, 2009, 11:36 PM
    YOU CAN'T HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT TOO, BACK OFF BEFORE YOU BREAK TWO UNSUSPECTING HEARTS. SORRY PROBALY YOURS AS WELL.:cool:
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #3

    Jan 28, 2009, 01:49 AM

    You should back off from BOTH until you can decide what you want. You can't play with people's lives and feelings like that for your own pleasure?! Be prepared to lose one or both. You have started both relationships being dishonest! You are playing both ends against the middle, and that is going to backfire on you if you start with either of them this way. If you care for either of them, you won't do this.

    These guys work together. Do you think they are never going to talk to each other? Even if you decide, do you think the other isn't going to figure out what's going on? Seriously? They will compare notes at some point!

    How do you think Guy #2 will feel when he finds out you only chose him because you were waiting for Guy #1 to do something, but then he doesn't. So then you decide on Guy #2 who you could "learn" to have a serious relationship with. And if you decide on Guy #1, how is Guy #2 going to feel when he finds out he was the second choice, over Guy #1?

    Is this starting to sound complicated? Well it should, because that's how it's going to be. Leave both of them alone until you've gotten your head on straight, and learned to get your feelings in check. Treat other people like you would like to be treated. With respect!
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jan 28, 2009, 07:49 AM

    You are being incredibly selfish. You are dealing with people's emotions here remember.


    Stop comparing two people. Two people will never be fairly evaluated against each other when dealing with a relationship. Guy no2 is new and exciting, guy no one is caring.. bla bla bla... it will never work. Back off and don't see either for a week or two and see how you feel. You will end up feeling like s*** and these guys will end up hurt if you continue like this.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 30, 2009, 05:55 AM

    While its okay to date whomever you want, its a red flag to date two guys who work together, and OBVIOUSLY talk to each other.

    Leave them both alone, and get out of this confusing soap opera. Are they the only guys that give you attention or something?
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Jan 30, 2009, 06:29 AM

    I agree with Tal, it's okay to date around but if guy number 1 feels you are in a relationship than you could be considered cheating.

    Stop playing a game with them and chose one or the other or neither

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Heart vs head [ 7 Answers ]

He says he likes me, he acts like he likes me, he says he'll go out with me NEXT year (all because we are going to different schools at the moment, whatever), but I found out he's moving at the end of the year and he knew about that before all of this. I feel like he just stabbed me, if he really...

Do I go with my head or my heart about these men? [ 4 Answers ]

I split up with my long term ex last Christmas and immediately got involved in a rebound relationship with a special guy at work. This didn't work out as I never truly believed it was something real and put it down to rebound. He never truly believed I cared about him and by late spring it was...

Heart vs. Head? [ 17 Answers ]

Hi everyone! I love this website! My situation is a bit different than any others I have read, but long story short. I was in a bad marriage, hung out with my best friend for a solid year (husband was OK w/ it), and well, I grew very close to my best friend. Said this before. We quit talking for...

Heart or Head? [ 3 Answers ]

I dated a guy for 5 1/2 yrs. He has 2 children, now 8 and 9, both of my kids are grown and gone. I have been through a lot with him, divorce, child custody battles, driving back and forth to pick up his kids (took a whole weekend) and just the everyday things of dealing with 2 kids. Now after...

Heart or Head [ 15 Answers ]

Hi everyone, This has to be the best site that offers the best advice and insight. I read all of your post and each of you are incredible with your depth and how to easily assess a situation. This site has helped me greatly, more then you will ever know. I thank you all for your genorisity...


View more questions Search