[herky35]

I know this is a old question for many years, but I would like to know what people think of the following issue, Issue is sex
Is it or is it not an important part of a meaning full marriage. No I'm not saying the most important part but one of the top my opinion in the top 3. and what ever you answer please explain why? After talking to a couple people man and woman they were trying to help me on another topic and to me they sound like they must either be divorced, or always experience bad relationships... lol

[Choux]

Sex is a very important part of a couple's life... very important. :) From the beginning to the senior citizen years.

You will find that an active sex life promotes *good health*-mental and physical, and physicians will tell you so. If there is a patch of abstinence in a marriage it must be healed as soon as possible. A professional sex therapist should be called in to help.

IF people are estranged sexually, the reason must be confronted and examined. The longer a couple go without sexual union, the more the likelihood is that their sex life is over. (Per a study I read) Often, a woman is seething inside.

Happy marriages are negotiated per Dr. Phil, so thoughtful negotiation is the basis of satisfied married partners. :)

Very best wishes to you,

[DoulaLC]

It depends on the couple... you will obviously have some couples where sex is not an option due to physical capabilities... sometimes known prior to marriage, often times it is something that develops well into a marriage. Do they have any less of a satisfying marriage than a couple who has frequent sex? Expression of love, desire, and commitment can take many forms.

Problems arrise when the couple are not on the same page in regard to the importance of sex. There will be natural ebbs and flows throughout a marriage and it is important to talk through the slow times if it becomes a concern. At times, a doctor's visit may be in order... or a counselor as Choux suggested.
Compromises can usually be worked out, if need be, to the satisfaction of both partners as long as both are willing to do some compromising and they will usually find they get in sync with each other more often.

[DSM521]

Yes it is a very important part of marriage. With out sex and intimacy the couple is more like roommates than a couple.

I can answer this from being married to a woman that lost her sex drive after having our fist child. It sounds strange for a mad to say it but after years of no intimacy I started to have lot of problems. I felt like I was not loved, like she was not attracted to me, I started to loose my feelings toward her. I never cheated even though I had many chances. It effects many parts of the marriage, not just the sex.

It was very hard for us to talk about at first but after we did, it helped me cope with my feelings. I understand where she is coming from. She can't force her self to have feelings she does not have. Me putting pressure on her made it worse. We now have an understanding about it. It still is very hard for me but I don't resent her like I did before I knew what she was going through.